Thursday, March 31, 2011

Enough with this woman crap already!!!

So last year when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, what I elected to do for treatment was have a double mastectomy and have my ovaries removed so that my body wouldn't make any estrogen to feed the cancer.

I have 2 small kids and I really didn't have the time to be sick with chemo or radiation so I decided on this very aggressive and effective way to fight the cancer it gave a 99% survival rate.  I could have chosen a lumpectomy or just removed one breast and gotten chemo and radiation.  I am a mom I just didn't have the time to be dealing with treatments that could make me sick with small children.  So swiftly and quickly we moved ahead with the massive surgeries.

Well with that decision I was thrown into menopause at the ripe old age of 41.  Well I now know why old women are so crabby.  Menopause and all that comes with it SUCK.  I am not a dried up old weed, I am still a young women with children in diapers!!!!  These hot flashes I have been enduring for a year are ridiculous, I hate them.  The itchy skin, the moodiness, the dandruff, the insomnia, night sweats, and ridiculously slow metabolism now all can just BITE ME.

I am at Macy's this afternoon and not only do I have a hot flash but I break into this crazy flop sweat that there is nothing glowing about it.   My hair turns into a rabid frizz ball and my make-up practically melts off my face.  I'm Italian and am used to running a little on the hot side all my life, but it nothing compared to these "flashes".  I feel like someone installed a "Broiler" setting to my body thermometer.     These "FLASHES" are  30 minute flop sweat gigs completely embarrassing.  The night sweats have my changing my pajamas and sheets during the middle of the night also, which sucks because I get up for work at 4am.

Is it really to much to ask for these symptoms to be gone?  I mean for crying out loud it's been a year.  I am not in the position to take estrogen because it can do harm to me and feed any stray cancer cell that may still be floating around in my body.

But this menopause has forced me to really take a look at my health and fitness because I have to be here for my kids.  So I am running, and watching my diet, and eliminating most junk food, no fast food, high fiber, low fat, and that is helping.  Because along with this stupid thing menopause I can suffer bone loss, and osteoporosis.  (I mean really, isn't just the menopause enough????)

So to keep all those other lovely consequences of menopause at bay I have ventured onto this fitness journey.  I feel better, I am wearing pants I haven't worn since before I had my kids.  My new "girls" are forcing me to update and refresh the rest of my body. (I could never have taken up running with my old "girls", so I sort of like the new ones)  So even though I have this label at the doctors office of Post Menopausal, it doesn't mean I'm some dried up old prune at Leisure World.  I am getting back to my "fighting" weight and am getting out of the ring with cancer and menopause, and am grateful to say that I won the fight against the cancer!  Now the battle of the bulge is being fought and will be won as well, I feel so differently about my health now than I ever have in my life.  I am running well enough that I registered for my first 5K at the end of April.

But really, I am over this menopause nightmare it has been a year, and all the little side effects that come with it are irritating and since none of my friends are going through the "CHANGE OF LIFE" yet, I have no one to compare and contrast the icky details with, at least when you are pregnant someone in your posse has been through it and tells you all the stuff that no one else will tell you.

But the upside of the whole thing I don't have a period anymore, and that is cool.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What happened to my sweet baby boy????

I know that I sometimes get so wrapped up in Franklin and his Autism that I sometimes minimize my (used to be) so sweet 2 year old little baby boy Jackson.

He was such a good little baby, funny, giggles, messy, busy, active.  All the typical toddler things.  Well Holy Moly something has happened to that child in the last 2 weeks and he really entered what I have heard about THE TERRIBLE TWO'S.  Really???!!!  I think that my house has enough with Autism and all that brings,  throwing this new 35 pound 35 inch tall terrorist into the mix is really pissing me off.  Why does he find it necessary to throw a tantrum over EVERYTHING????  The high pitched screech that comes out of him somehow always manages to find and fray my last nerve.

I try to remove the triggers, and I don't let him get to hungry, angry or tired to minimize the effects of this.  But the little monster thinks that it is necessary to throw a tantrum because a commercial is on or I can't fast forward the DVR fast enough.  He throws, and he bites, and he hits ME!!!   And CPS frowns upon hitting him back, so I don't.

I know that this is not a permanent state of mind (It flippin' better not be permanent or he is getting taken to the dog pound).

I remember my sweet little cuddly boy, that would giggle when we sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes", not he says "NO" and covers my mouth.  WHAT IS THAT?????

I do so love him and when I get home from work in the morning and he comes running for hugs and kisses it makes me forget these hour long episodes of torturous crying for no good reason.  He is a sweet little guy and a complete ham.  This new personality trait of trying to exercise his independence and all that other psycho babble is for the birds.  I miss the little baby that is all giggles and fun, and was a pleasure to lay down with for a nap.  Going down for a nap or for bed is now a battle of wills, mine vs. his.  (I'm losing).   This little gremlin that runs away from the park and makes me chase him, and that throws his sippy cup at me when he is finished, and heaves an entire plate of waffles off of his high chair has a limited amount of time to shape up.  I don't really know what I'll do if he doesn't shape up, but I really feel that as a parent I have lost control of the entire house to a 2 year old.  Ahhhh

Honestly, I never thought I'd say this, sometimes Autism is a pleasure compared to this nightmare. (It really isn't but I just listened to nearly 2 hours of crying)

God, if you're listening, please bring back my Jackson and remove this monster that has taken over his body and mind :)


Monday, March 28, 2011

Real Housewives vs. Real Moms - Episode 4 Orange County

Well I'm going to have to say, these women get more and more laughable every week.  They can not actually think that there is any reality in their "REALITY" tv show.

"Housewives" of Orange County please take heed in what us Real Moms are saying here, you are EMBARRASSING those of us that strive to provide happy homes for our families.

VICKI - It can not be possible for someone of your stature that has built the empire you have with the beautiful home and amazing kids and husband to actually whine and be as needy as you are.   You chose to be friends with Tamra she pissed you off, she said she was sorry, get over it!!!  I am not Tamra fan by any means but she extended the olive branch and you just kept tearing away at it and being a big baby about the whole thing.  I mean if it was that bad what she did that you are still yapping like an over indulged Chihuahua a year later perhaps a therapist or medication is in order.  Why soooooo needy.  And if you have the time to take with Tamra why not take that kind of time with Don, and why so disrespectful of your husband on television.  That is a public humiliation to Don who was nothing but good to you and your kids for many years.  That is much worse than anything Tamra ever did to you.  But in true Vicki fashion I am sure you will find a way to whine about your love tank not being full when you obviously ignore your husband.  I really used to admire you as the Housewife you'd want to be, but man where is the gratitude for all you have, you just are whiny like having a four year old around at all times.    I really hope you are never effected by a bad economy or anything like that because I can not imagine you bitching about how hard your life is anymore, when it really is a dream existence for some.  But I will be grateful for my small home my big mortgage and my older clothes and tiny part time job without whining about anything.  Attitude of Gratitude Vicki and watch out for Tamra she is NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.

GRETCHEN - You aren't really a housewife.  But if you have to continually question marriage to Sleazy Slade, he is not the one.  Kick to the Curb and Move on.  At least make him wash his hair, he looks oily.

PEGGY - I feel that your post-partum depression really effected you and that you are coming out of that dark tunnel on the other side.  What a horrible disorder.  Beautiful babies you have and it makes it all worth it.   My hats off to you that is REAL MOM class and courage to walk through that.    When those babies get a little bigger and they get a cut, your anxiety will go way down and there will be a lot less trips to the hospital.

ALEXIS - Your dresses are pretty, but of all the Real Moms I know, I have never seen one of them in a get up like that picking there kids up from school.  I rarely sport my Manolos or Jimmy Choo's with an off the shoulder frock in car line,  I save those outfits (oh that's right I don't have those outfits because my husband insists we pay our mortgage) for the one night out on a special outing or a vacation.    But it is admirable that you are trying to make a new dress line it's a fairly cool thing.  As you're sitting there thinking of designs, remember us Real Moms.   Tamra is not your friend she totally talked trash in her sidebar interview.  Kick her to the curb.

TAMRA - I find it amusing that you blocked me off of your twitter this week.  You won't take a little jabbling from me, but you will shovel loads and loads of meanness at your "co-workers"/friends.  You talk horribly all the time about all the people you are involved with.  Step it up, your kids are looking for guidance, and unless you are ready for them to be on the next season of "Teen Mom" - CLASS IT UP.  Can you imagine the immeasurable amount of teasing that those poor kids are getting because you know their friends or friends parents are watching you do body shots, talk about new sex with a guy you dated about 3 hours, and the drunken stooper,  trips to the lesbian pond (WHAT THE HELL?) .   You are not putting those kids and their needs first.  What do you think your kids are being or are going to be tortured because you choose to consistently act like a skank on NATIONAL TV.  Get a hobby, maybe do something for charity, I don't know call me crazy but wouldn't you rather use your notoriety for something good or do you prefer the title of biggest Skank in OC????   Maybe your agent or Bravo really didn't tell you the name of this show is "REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY" it isn't JERSEY SHORE.    I'm thinking that can be the only explanation for your ignorance and total lack or respect and kindness and common sense for your kids sake.

I know that most of them could care less what I say, and I used to really want that lifestyle, but seriously now, I think that there is not a thing that you women have that would make me want to give up Real Mom status, my friends and our older cars, clothes, paid mortgages, and amazing kids with and without special needs are what makes Orange County spin.   You ladies are a facade.   I hope that there is some spiritual awakening that happens to you women so to minimize the amount of therapy your kids are going to have to go through when they get old enough to Google you and your antics.


Sunday, March 27, 2011

I love Autism Breakthrough Days

As I took the boys to Toys R Us to get out of the rain, and use some of their Birthday gift cards, something so awe inspiring happened for us as a family I was brought to grateful tears on the way home.

My two year Jackson fell asleep in the stroller as we were wandering the aisles.  Franklin was a bit antsy and wanted out of the stroller.   So I thought I would try something.    I got down on my knees and looked Franklin right in the eye, and made sure he was looking back at me.

I told him "Franklin you can pick one toy to take home with us".

We were in a section of the store of the kinds of toys that he likes, and he looked and touched a few of the toys that he recognized.  Backyardigans, GeoTrax, Toy Story, Puzzles, and Thomas the Train.  As I watched him I felt like I was watching his brain work.  He wasn't that interested in those, and then we came upon the MOTHERLODE!!  There is an Animal Planet section in Toys R Us now.  He LOVES animals.  He looked at several boxes of animal toys, and came upon a Farm Yard with 20 animals, a tractor and a farmer.  He made some of his Autism language, and flapped his arms in excitement.  Then, he pulled the HUGE box off of the shelf and said "I Want", and handed it to me.    This child does not talk, we get a word every few weeks, rarely two together.

This was so huge today.  He receptively understood a single instruction, and followed it appropriately, made his choice and communicated it to me.   It was like he was out of the Autism bubble for a minute and completely knew what we were there for and what was happening.    He has always had challenges with receptive instruction in therapy session and they have been working on it for months and he is just mastering some of the receptive drills that he works with daily.    But this was out of a therapy or classroom, this was a real life everyday thing that regular kids do all the time.  He got what we were there for and went through the toys, picked what he wanted and told me that he wanted it!

I was able to drive home safely through my tears of joy!    Thank you Animal Planet and Toys R Us for marketing and displaying something that my little guy LOVES.

This is something that Bravo just doesn't have the cajones to broadcast, those Real Housewives don't have anything on me :)

Earlier this week he had me cleaning up poop murals, today he's making huge strides.  The roller coaster is never ending in our house!

The Happiest Mommy on earth today!


Friday, March 25, 2011

I'd still rather be a Real Mom than a Real Housewife

I have been up this morning, and on social media, email and the phone.  Here are some of the things my Real Mom friends have contended with today and it is not even 10am.

Barf, insomnia, sty in the eye, coughs, IEP's,  therapy appointments, doctor appointments, not to mention the bad hair day I am having along with the fact that my son stayed up until 4am and while he was up playing in his room he made a lovely poop mural on his wall for me!!!!  So as I am cleaning poop off the wall and laughing that this can not be what my life has been reduced to.

If you are the kind of parent that needs to send a bunch of judgement my way for leaving my child locked in his room when he can't sleep, then please stop reading and go back to letting your nanny and a staff raise you children.  When you can walk a month in my shoes with Autistic sleeping patterns,  then I may allow you to criticize how I do it, but if you aren't willing to do that then please go back to your Spa and think about how great your life is.

So as we are all in the midst of cleaning up bodily fluids and fending horrible viruses off of ourselves, please know that to all of you Amazing Moms.  There are very few people that could do what we do with special needs and Autism and the quirkiness that comes with it.

I remember when I used to dream of being a mom, this is sooooo not what were in my dreams.  Do not get me wrong, I am amazed and love my kids so much I don't know how to express it properly.  But before Autism motherhood is a completely different vision and dream than what it is now.  I wouldn't change it because it is what it is.  And I really have to be in awe of all of these incredible kids that have so many obstacles put in front of them before they even start school, and yet they get up everyday and manage through 10 - 11 hours of school and therapy a day to just learn how to make eye contact with someone and ask for a glass of water.

But this is to us moms that got a lot more than we bargained for when our diagnosis came through and you are all my real heros.  I watch the Real Housewives and those bitches all fell apart and lost all character and pride with a little bit of a challenged economy because they had to get rid of their cleaning ladies.  If a Real Housewife was blessed with a child with Autism those kids would be put in a home.  This is not for the weak or the mild or the selfish narcissists that they are.

We may not have clothes that are suited for the cover of InStyle Magazine and I may not always muster the strength to get decent make up on.  But I know that this Real Mom and my friends are stronger and more resilient than most, and I'm grateful to be a strong mom.  Being a Mommy is hard enough without any additional bullshit and challenges.

So to the Real Moms out there, tune out that outside noise and judgement of those that crumble if dinner is burnt or they have to live on a budget for a couple months, we are ROCK STARS, through the frustration and tears and isolation and loneliness very few could do what we do.  Look at the little faces that God gave us to take care of it, and I will forego all of the luxuries of life to be rewarded with the smiles and giggles of my two boys.

BRING IT ON!  I'm going to play with the kids and get a run in and make a dinner.


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The little girl has grown into a SOLDIER!

This is Erica, she is my best friends daughter.  In one week this woman graduates from basic training and her job training for the United States Army.  WOW!!!  This was the first little girl I babysat for long periods of time.  It is crazy to think that someone whose diaper you used to change, and dance to Disney songs in the living room is a now a United States Soldier.  I can't even imagine the emotions that her parents are actually going through.

Erica has been a part of my life since I was in my 20's before I ever even considered children of my own.  Her and her brother were my experimental kids.  For the most part I always returned them to their parents in the same condition I got them in.  A few scrapped knees and a little incident with a boogie board in the ocean but all in all we always had a great time.  Erica as a little 3 and 4 year old would ride in the back seat of my convertible gladly wherever I wanted to take her.  The good old days!   I don't know if I would let myself babysit my kids now, if that makes sense :)

I was probably an inappropriate care giver, I did take them to movies that they were much too young for too late at night sometimes.  I let them drink sugary drinks.  One time Erica downed an Iced Venti Latte from Starbucks in about 3 gulps when we weren't looking, I think she was 4.

So the training that I received from Erica and her brother led me to be the mom I am today.  I am grateful for the lessons I learned and having experimental children.

As we all have been through her pre-teen and teen years were a little turbulent, but nothing horrible, and as teens and their parents can't always communicate a little intervention was in order.  I had the privilege of having her stay at my house last summer when I was recovering from surgery and separated from my husband.  It cooled the jets at home and I really needed her here.   She helped with the boys like I used to help her mother.  She was here for me during some dark days in this house when I was not able to do for myself.  At those moments, I knew that this kid was going to be just fine.  She had and amazing foundation from her family, they just didn't always see eye to eye.  But as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I think all that was done before she shipped out is being repaired, and I couldn't be happier for this family.

As I sat in awe of her, knowing that she was about to embark on this major life journey and having the duty of protecting and defending OUR FREEDOM, all I could think of was a little girl that cut her own hair sitting on the beach in Corona Del Mar wanting to know who was going to take her in the ocean.

I am proud to say that I have been part of this little girls life, I can't say little girl anymore, she is a WOMAN, she is a United States Soldier.  I want to take this forum to thank her parents and her for the service to the United States and for raising someone that is selflessly defending Our Country.

As you graduate next week Erica, just know that I will be beaming with pride here in California.


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I don't really want to run, I want to like running :)

So this is not me (yet).  But I really want it to be.  I want to like running, I just don't get it yet, so I'm trying to figure out what is going to make me like it.

I am really trying to get myself as fit as I can since I am now over the 1 year cancer free mark,  so I can be the best mom I can be to my 2 small boys ages 2 and 4.

My schedule is hectic, our finances are very limited right now, and between work, and my kids Autism therapy I am burning the candle at both ends.  But I have a treadmill, and an awesome jogging stroller.   A couple times a week I do get out with the boys and get a couple miles in, but mostly walking with the stroller.  I don't like running enough yet to push the 120 lbs of stroller and children and run as well.

Every single night I have the intention to run on the very nice treadmill that we have and unfortunately the couch sucks me and and I fall asleep.  I am going to try tomorrow to wake up before I go to work and do it, I am at work by 5am so that means getting up at 3, not sure I'm willing.

I want to get in a groove with this running thing and make it my lifestyle.  I need something to make me fit, clear my head, and get me some fresh air.  This is and will be the thing that I do for myself, it is not the spa, it is not a day of relaxing, I want the mindset of a runner, an athlete, and a race finisher.   I was a crazy good athlete in school, and started working and just lost my fitness COMPLETELY.  Well that is over.  I want the body of my youth back, without cosmetic surgery.  I have to do it on my own because I refuse to pay gyms anymore money.  I have everything that is needed to do this for me and my family.

I am making a commitment here I want to run a race, I am going to run a 5K in May and see where this goes from there.  I want to be healthy, I need to be here for my boys, I want to look better, I want to feel better.  This last 2 years has been such a mental - emotional ass kicker for me, I feel like I have/had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I feel like I have walked through hell and am out on the other side and I have to pick up my boot straps and start running again.

My son was diagnosed with Autism and to get that crazy diagnosis and all settled for him the best I could, took 1 year, and shortly after that I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I had just had a baby.  My husband had issues with all that went on,  so the 2010 was stressful and jacked up in so many ways.   We are doing better now.   I now have a clean bill of health, and I want to keep it that way.  I have managed to eat better, and I feel like I am winning this battle with my weight that I have fought my entire life.

So I am throwing this out there to all the moms, and letting you know, I will run, it may be slow, it might not be far, but I am going to be a runner no matter what.  I am excited because I know deep down it is something I'm going to love, it's just getting there and doing it consistently.


Monday, March 21, 2011

What kind of people are we raising?

I saw this story on TV this morning.  After a night being up all night with an Autistic son and a sick 2 year old I was brought to tears.

My son is 4 and has moderate to severe Autism and it breaks my heart a little bit every day to know the struggles and tribulations that he will have throughout his life.  However, I am blessed to have great friends and family that we are surrounded by that are wonderful to my child.  The children in our neighborhood are amazingly accepting and very sweet to someone that makes it a challenge to be their friend.  He can't talk, he rarely engages them in play, and he has awkward quirks that make friendships in elementary school challenging.  I credit the awesome parenting of the men and women in my neighborhood.  They are just all around good people, I give them a lot of credit, because it probably is a lot easier to just ignore and not include us in play dates and social functions because we can't always guarantee great behavior or a mood from Franklin.  I hope that I am able to teach my son Jackson the incredible lessons that these parents have taught their children so that he is as accepting and gracious as all the kids in our neighborhood are.

With that said, after seeing this story this morning I was beyond pissed off.  I need to know what kind of parents give even an inclination that treating someone who is Autistic or just differently in such an atrocious way.  What kind of people are you raising????  In what world to we teach children to VIOLENTLY attack someone?  How is it possible that you were even able to have children?????  And to the police that think that because there was no "bloodshed" that there was nothing to do with these bullies.  Well you know what, I call BULLSHIT on you.  You have a video of kids sucker punching him!  In what world is that not evidence enough?????  You are all horrible people.

I am so grateful that nothing like this has happened to my kid because I seriously doubt that I would be able to contain myself, the pain that this boy with Autism is going through because of the brutal act of some ignorant punks and the puke stain parents that taught them this behavior was acceptable and tolerated.  His parents were very composed and I doubt I would be able to exude the level of composure that they did.  I would probably make sure that the life of the parent of these heathens would be miserable.

I know that Franklin's life is not going to be an easy one, and that is hard enough to hang on to on a daily basis.  But to know that there are people out there that were raised and think that it is okay to prey on and attack someone that is defenseless just hurts my stomach.  So all I can say to you is that if you know or see parents that are raising SHITTY people, call them out on it for crying out loud.

We are not a society that everyone is due "Rights without Responsibility". If you were born and have all of your mental faculties and have a set of ballss, it is your responsibility to stand up and defend the defenseless for God sakes!   If you see someone mistreating people,  embarrass them, humiliate them for being such humongous pieces of garbage.  I think that there needs to now be a stand up against this crap.  A public flogging for parents and children that think attacking, or bullying, or just flat out being a jerk to people, let alone people with special needs to be stopped IMMEDIATELY.

There needs to be a public forum for parents that are raising crappy kids and that condone and have taught that being a jerk is acceptable.    Like a Megan's Law website for sex offenders, there needs to be a site for parents that are Useless Tools

Don't be a CRAPTASTIC parent.  Be a parent that is raising good little humans.

Sorry for the rant.


Real Moms vs. Real Housewives - Episode 3

Well let me just say that these women now officially make it embarrassing to say that I'm from Orange County.  Honestly.

With all the money and jewels and all that they profess to have you think occasionally they might mention the word charity or something, or do something for someone other than themselves.  But I guess it can't get through all the injectables they have in their heads.

Alexis, seriously??!!!!!  Do you really think you are the only woman in the world that has to pack for her family???? Buck up and be a mom without the whining and thinking you're entitled to jewels because you packed some snacks and clothes in the car.  You got to bring a NANNY on vacation, and then the selfish and self centeredness forgot the nannies luggage, but I'm sure the 30 pounds of lipgloss you packed made the trip.    And I'm really curious that recently it was in the Orange County Register that you were making a wise financial decision by short selling your house.   Why do you need to short sell your house if your husband has the money and the balls to spend $27,000 on watches??????  Are you another liberal minded person that you only deserve rights and good things with zero responsibility?    Teach your children better please.

Gretchen, tone your voice down it's getting a little bit grating on the nerves.  Tamra is a bitch and was mean to you.  GET THE HELL OVER IT.  She it white trash, who really cares what she does or says?  Especially after the porn she made this week, lost all credibility to real people.  Move up and Move on.

Peggy sell the Bentley and Pay your mortgage.   Get a grip.

Vicki, please be nice to people.  You talk to everyone like you are so above them, and I would seriously wear some armor with Tamra.  Once things get hard with her she will turn on you in a second.  She is not a nice woman and not worthy of a close friendship, she needs to be watched.

Tamra,  after your antics this week.  I'm embarrassed for your children.  You don't allow them to watch the show, but seriously, are you that demented to think that they will not be able to Google you one day and see your skanky behavior????  If you want to still be on TV are feed your narcism please go apply for Jersey Shore.  You make women in Orange County look horrible, some of us work things out, are with our kids ALL the time and love it.    What do you actually bring to the table in any of your relationships????

Women the word of the week RESPONSIBILITY  for actions and finances.  Let's learn and practice shall we????   I was short on money this week so instead of spending $27,000 on watches, I cut some coupons and canceled my hair appointment.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Real Moms vs. Real Housewives - Episode 2

Simply due to the fact that I do not have a staff to take care of my children, or am able to pawn them off on an ex-husband and I take to roll of wife and mom very strongly.  This season of the Real Housewives of Orange County is now just funny because I don't get how they even use Real in the title.  There is nothing about these women that is REAL.   They are not Real Women, Real Housewives or even Real Nice People.    They are truly pissing off the REAL Moms and Wives here in Orange County.

I'm not even going to go through a step by step analysis.  I have recently as a Real Mom been through hell in a hand basket of Autism and Cancer and recovery for myself and my family.  I am taking care of my body, mind and spirit (why I am watching reality tv and ruining brain cells is kind of like an addict not able to stop using crack).   Never once have I found it necessary to go to to the gym with a full face of war paint and FALSE EYELASHES.  That made me laugh for about 10 minutes.  I seriously have worn false eyelashes a couple times, and by the end of the evening they were falling off and all I did was have dinner, not doing a workout.  Who does that?

They all talk complete trash on their so called friends.  Women, it is just in bad form to do that especially if you're saying the trash to a camera.  I can't believe that you are not all that smart to figure out.  Why would you be on a show with a bunch of women that you can't stand?

I  get that a lot of you are using the medium as your infomercial for your businesses and more power to you.  I hope it goes well.  I personally can't support a business or people that are driving around with $20,000 rims on their Hummer but don't pay their mortgage.  Ladies stop buying crap and pay your mortgages.  Do without something like the collagen lips or the false eyelashes and PAY YOUR BILLS around town.  It is no longer a secret that you are all a bunch of deadbeats.    Be more like us Real Moms and put your family and integrity about your narcisim.

And to the "Real Housewives" that have small children, remember one day your kids will "google" you and observe your questionable behavior.  So I hope (Tamra) that you are putting aside the money that Bravo is paying you so that the therapy your daughters are going to need after watching  you slut all over town and bathe with someone that isn't their dad.

Class it up a little bit ladies, this isn't the Jersey Shore.


Sunday, March 13, 2011

This I am blaming on the Real Housewives

I think this morning I had lost my mind and was really trying to become a Real Housewife and forgetting the whole Real Mom thing I have going on.

I decided to take the kids to church this morning by myself.  So as I got them ready with anxiety because Franklin was going to go into the Special Kids room with the kids with Autism, it was a first so I was a little nervous.  Jackson has a cough and runny nose, so he was going to stay with me and we sat out on the "families patio".    I got the boys ready, and then as I was trying to find an acceptable outfit for public myself (which is close to the worlds biggest pain in the ass).    What was very cool, though this morning was that since I have been following the church on "The Daniel Plan", and began running and exercising regularly, and basically coming out of the Autism, Cancer, new mommy fog, I have actually lost some significant weight and the 3 pairs of pants I tried on were too big (YEAH ME!).I went on a run with my dogs this morning and the endorphines must have gotten to me or something.  So what I decided to do was put on these cute jeans that have been in my closet for about 5 year that I have never worn, and instead of wearing my flip flops, Ugg Boots or running shoes, I elected to put on this cute pair of wedge peep toe heels that I got last year.  I found a cute blouse that I didn't swim in, I did my hair put on make up and off we went.  These are all not the normal thing that I do for church.  Usually I go Saturday afternoon and my husband stays home with the kids.  I sneak in with my jeans, t-shirt and sweater and my tennis shoes, sometimes makeup, most of the time not.  

I dropped Franklin off in his respective child care room, and then there was a friend of mine working in the Toddler room and said no one was in her room, she would take Jackson because he wouldn't infect anyone.  So off I sprint to the Worship Center so I can get a seat and hear the message.  It's about 10 after 11 o'clock this morning and service starts at 11:15, so I doubt there could have been more people at the entrance of church trying to get in before the service started.

As I believe I am strutting up the runway with my heels and my make-up, heck I even found earrings that matched.   I was feeling sooooo Orange County.  Well my God has a peculiar sense of humor, because as I am getting to the entrance of the building I seem to have lost control of my feet and I FELL.  Yes Fell, at church in front of God and EVERYONE in Orange County, my purse went flying and it's contents are strewn about the bottom of the stairway.  I was laughing too.  OMG!  I couldn't believe the mortification that I was feeling, and I'm sure was all over my face.  I just got up, another woman had picked up my purse and filled it up with it's belongings, I said thanks and kept walking.  I didn't give anyone the opportunity to get a glimpse of my face.

I have to blame this episode on the Real Housewives of everywhere.  Because sometime because I don't always have the perfect outfit, and someone else to take care of my home and children, that I actually let myself go a little bit, and I am getting my game back on.  Well I think I was trying to emulate how I was feeling on the inside today by putting it on my outside, and showing it to everyone.  I felt like I had it going on this morning!!! And I still have it going on today, but as I sit here in my capri sweats and t-shirt and jogging shoes.  I feel just as good as I did before (and after) I fell.   Next week when I make it back and am wearing flat shoes and maybe  an outfit that is not fit for the cover of InStyle magazine, I will remember that I am  a Real Mom, and I rock anyway even if I can't handle being dolled up and styled up all the time (or ever).

I think I like the Real Mom feeling and getting caught up in trying to even be a little bit like the "Real Housewife" thing was obviously hazardous today!!!!  

After all the trauma and humiliation this morning, I did hear the message at church was "Listening to God", and Franklin did Amazing in the Special Kids room, it was a great Real Mom day.

How was your mom day?


Saturday, March 12, 2011

Braless Tata's

I have got to tell ya.  Never in all of the 30 or so years that I have worn a bra have I ever gone out in public without one.  NEVER!!!!

It took breast cancer to make it happen.  Last year after I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer, I elected to have a double mastectomy and then did breast reconstruction.  So I have after a year of expanders, implants, fat grafting, and tattooing I have a new set of TATA's.

They are not the Tata's that I grew up with.  They are not saggy, they haven't breast fed 2 children, they haven't been through weight gain and weight loss.  They are these new stand at attention, rarely move, and up so high TATA's.

So I tried something I know women especially in Orange County go out in public wearing spaghetti strap blouses and dresses BRALESS.  Well I tried it recently.  I gotta tell ya, after 30 years of ALWAYS wearing a bra, it was a little liberating, it will take a little getting used to and it is absolutely not something that I will do daily.  But when I can find a dress or blouse that I could never wear before I will now buy them and NOT wear a bra.

I am not turning into a bra burning hippie or anything like that so don't go crazy and think I've changed.  I will always love my turtle necks and bras.  But I am embracing the new TaTa's today, it has taken some getting used to but I am choosing to look at the good of the whole CANCER thing.  I am better, I am cancer free, I am a survivor, I will get the incredible gift of seeing my boys grow to be men.  The new Tata's and going braless were just the ribbon on the big gift that was wrapped for me.


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Amazing Autism Moment

We had an enormous breakthrough at our home yesterday.  My 4 year old son Franklin who has Autism went to school in his underwear and did not have an accident ALL DAY. 

You'll have to excuse me for wanting to do cartwheels up and down the playground.  I know to a lot of people nearly 4 and a half years old seems old to potty train.  With Autism and all that comes with it, the typical developmental milestone that a mom expects at certain times in the childs life are theoretically thrown out the window.

Sof for the last 6 months Franklins therapist have been working on potty traiing.  YES.  6 months woman and Franklin have sat in our bathroom for HOURS with DVD's books, music, toys, Doritos - anything to reinforce sitting and going on the potty.  Through many many hours of any avoidance technique Franklin could muster trantrucm, crying, giggling, running he managed to go on the potty and hold it for 55 minutes.  He does that now everyday at home.

I give so much credit and praise to the behavior therapist that come to home daily.  They have the immeasurable amount of patience.  Their job is not just treating Franklin and his Autism, they train me and our family on how to work with Franklin and his special abilities.  The absolutley have a fast track into heaven.

After months of trial and error we had Franklin with no accidents at home for several weeks, and now he is at school in Toy Story Underwear and this mommy couldn't be prouder.

What were your potty experiences?


Monday, March 7, 2011

Episode 1 Real Housewife vs. Real Mom

Well the train wreck did not disappoint last night.  I swear it cracks me up that they have the balls to call this reality TV.  I know a lot of moms in Orange County and there is not the whole lot of them that are near as self-absorbed as these Orange County Chicks.  But it is entertaining.  I like how all the ladies turned this franchise of a show into an infomercial to hock skin care and purses, and jeans, and songs, and whatever else they all have done.  It is smart, not something I've figured out how to do, but I'd still rather be a real mom than a "REAL" housewife.

Okay ladies,  I know you all claim to have a class factor going on that puts you above us little people.  But I'm going to have to differ with you. Y'all are getting more and more classless every season.  If you all behaved like this in the REAL world, you'd have no friends.  I think if you act like most of you act in a workplace, you can get sued or fired for creating a hostile work environment.

There are a few rules that apparently your mothers never taught you.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say ANYTHING at all.
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Look out for one another.

Alexis, darling.  I have small children too.  I never had 2 nannies, and you have help more days a week than you don't.  You don't have help Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday???!!!!  Really, and you need a drink, and you have to pray for patience?????  Wow.  I don't get it, I waited my whole life to have my boys and I truly enjoy every minute.  It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and a lot of the things that I want and did for myself have had to go away so I can be home with them.  It is sad that you see them more as a job than a joy.

Gretchen,  Tamara is a biotch, she doesn't like you she never is going to.  She is a wanna be.  Stay away from her.  If you can't stay away, shut your pie hole.  It's gone on long enough and no one cares anymore.

Tamara - OMG!!!!  Have you lost your damn mind.  Are you unaware of the fact that one day your children will be old enough to watch this show and google you and your unattractive behavior.  Do you really want the vision of you as a mother making out in a bathtub with a guy you've know briefly????  Do you think that is a good roll model for your daughters?  I mean I understand that as soon as Simon lost his job and times got tough you got unhappy, and mr. bathtub man has the big Ladera house, and bought you a BMW.  Perhaps, I'm just saying it's you that is the Gold Digger and not Gretchen.

Vicki, you rock as a mom and business person.  But don't be so needy from everyone to constantly tell you how amazing you are.  you already know it.  Stay away from Tamara, that woman is nothing but a source of pain and trouble for you.  I don't see her actions improving, but I could be wrong.  Sometimes moms are wrong.

Oh and for the rest of the cast,  as you continue to inject you face with stuff to keep you young.  Remember, less is more.  You can look really ridiculous if you keep blowing up and paralyzing all parts of your head.  I'm not to say I don't I have partaken in getting Botox and Laser treatments myself, but the goal is to look like a little younger version of yourself, not to look like a freaky mannequin.

What did everyone else think of the premiere?

Friday, March 4, 2011

Still making me smile

As I put my little buggers to bed tonight, I was thinking how much my dad would have loved these two little guys.   I am really sorry they all never got a chance to meet.

This weekend it will be 6 years since we lost my dad to a brain tumor.  It's just sad, that's a lousy way to go.  But I have to say my dad really lived every day of his life to the fullest.  Maybe not always the best way, but he did his whole life his way.

The things that make me smile when I think of him still are

  • When I was little he used to drive a VW Bug and I would hear him driving home and I would run to meet him at the end of the driveway and we would go get Slurpee's at 7-11
  • On Christmas Eve he would come in our rooms and tell us if we were still awake Santa was going to pass by.  
  • He carried ALL of our ski equipment!!!  Bitched about it the whole time but did carry it from the parking lot.
  • His DRIVING was insane but entertaining to watch (as long as you were following him)
  • His singing to the radio
  • How he would sweat like a slob dancing at weddings, but always had a golf shirt in his car to change into.
  • His Yoddle was hilarious 
  • He knew one song on the piano (Michael Row the Boat Ashore) and never missed an opportunity to play it.
  • How he would smile when we made him proud.
The list could go on and on.  I choose to remember the things that make me smile today, because when I tell my boys about him I want them to know how funny he was and happy he made a lot of people and how much he was loved.  He had his struggles and it's a shame he made a lot of the choices he made.  It doesn't change how much we all love him and miss him.

I wasn't a mom when I lost my dad and I can't imagine not being here for my kids.  I think my dad had a part in all of that.  Last year when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and when through my mastectomy and hysterectomy I think my dad watching down from wherever he is and made my pain level tolerable and my recovery fairly easy, and that I am cancer free for nearly a year now.  That's what I like to think.

So much has happened in the 6 years since he's been gone, seems like a lifetime.  There are so many things that would make him happy, and I feel bad he missed so much.  My faith tells me and I believe that he is in a better place and we will all be together again someday.  Miss you dad, and love you.

Thanks for reading



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Thursday, March 3, 2011

Stop Rewarding Bad Behavior

I have spent the better part of the last two years listening to my son with Autism get treated by Behavioral Therapists and if I've learned nothing else from them than don't reinforce his unwanted behavior.  Block and Re-direct his actions. Block and re-direct, block and re-direct, or just ignore until he ends a tantrum or a serious episode of stereotypy.

So my message to the media and celebrities today is Stop Rewarding Bad Behavior for the love of PETE!!!!  I'm mean for good ness sake is it absolutely necessary that Charlie Sheen and his gin soaked brain get a platform and 30 different interviews in 3 days to talk about Tiger Blood and Godesses????  Is that what we are reduced to as a society that you want to just put his mug and rants on an endless loop and torture us with it?    The attention is what the narcissist wants, but just BLOCK AND RE-DIRECT.  If you stop giving him a soap box, maybe him and the porn star skanks will just GO AWAY and back under the rock or into re-hab where they belong.    There are children involved here, and bumbling (loosely using the term) journalist are tripping over themselves to look at Charlie and his Gold Tooth and stinky breath but have no concern over what is happening with his kids how are being watched by hookers and porn stars.

I know the media is intent on just filling TV time with completely ridiculous behavior by celebrities and people keep watching it and buying tabloids.  Lindsay Lohan for example, she is just a drunk and a stupid 23 year old.  She is still at the age where she can blame some of the choices in her life on youth and stupidity.  I mean she can't help that her parents are two complete loons that are using her to get their faces on TV every chance they can, as well as complete no talents that depend on their CHILD for a financial support.  SICKO'S.    But lets give it a try - BLOCK AND RE-DIRECT.  Stop putting them on TV and I bet that the behavior slowly changes.  And hopefully the parents will go back under the rock from which they both came.    I mean Lindsey has to take some responsibility for her lame actions but bad attention in her and her parents eyes is better than no attention.  I am curious that if like my son Franklin, if we ignore the horrible behavior (for Franklin it's usually a tantrum) it stops quickly, and with each episode the tantrum gets shorter.

Last week on the news there was a 30 second blurb about therapy dog that went to see the Pediatric Cancer patients at Children's Hospital in LA, it was heart warming and the people that cared for the dog were awesome and of course the kids were thrilled and it lifted their spirits.  We got 30 seconds of that and 20 hours of the Sheen rant.   Nice going networks.    Here is a question, would you rather watch Charlie Sheen and his wet brain rant on about being a warlock for an hour or would you rather see children with cancer cheered up by a therapy dog?

Thanks for reading, please share with your friends


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Real Housewives of Wherever vs. Real Moms of OC

As I was home sick today I got hooked into a Real Housewives (Train wrecks) of Orange County Marathon.  OMG!!!  I am so entertained by the lack of reality on reality television.  Really, what planet do these women think they are on???

When I started watching that show (and the rest of the franchise) it was a mindless novelty.  I was working, shopping, going the places in Orange County that they went.  We were newly married and had a semi decent discretionary income to play with.  Well needless to say, my life has changed drastically since the show started.  And some of their lives have also changed dramatically (even though they would dispute that fact).

The Real Moms of OC would like to take on the Real Housewives.  Since there is so much reality in my life and the other women that I know, I want to point out the difference between a Real Mom vs. "Real" Housewife.

Jeana Keough - Woman you are a hard working beautiful woman, but you WHINE too much.  I like you and your daughter.  Your sons on a couple episodes I watched today were so horribly rude and disrespectful, perhaps you should have spanked them as children, or maybe not bought them $40,000 cars when they turned 16 years old?????  Just sayin'.   I love that you're a powerful Real Estate Agent and do well in the big homes. I am sure I could learn something from you in that arena.   Take some advice from a REAL MOM, save some money for a rainy day.  You and your kids do not always need the most expensive and always have to have something just for the sake of your instant gratification.  If you are having to ask you friends for loans maybe going to the St Regis for a $300 lunch - not necessary.  In the Real Moms world if we are broke, we bring lunch to the park and meet each other for good company, we aren't there to impress each other because we can go to the St Regis.  Also, I know you left housewives and went on another Bravo show about weight loss.  WOMAN!!!!  Seriously, you belong to 7 gyms and have a personal chef.  Do you know how many real moms would kill for that, and wouldn't whine about not being able to lose weight.  I admire your accomplishments in Real Estate, however, I would rather be in my life, my much smaller life than yours and be grateful that I have what I have.

Vicki Gunvalson - Vicki is one I like for the most part, her daughter is sweet and hardworking and her son is a little bit of a spoiled OC punk, but I think he's working now and (hopefully) lost some of that entitlement ego he had.  She is a really hardworking and driven woman.  That is admirable since she seems to be the only one on RHOOC that is actually able to keep her home because she does work so hard.  But she isn't the nicest to other women.  If you don't work like her, or think like her she calls you 'effing looney.  If you warrant more attention than her she DESPISES that and you for taking the focus off of her.   I watched a few episodes today and she is more happy about material stuff than with any people around her.  She treated her husband poorly and put him very far down on the priority list.    A REAL MOM that works and has a family, doesn't tell her husband constantly that he isn't invited on family vacations.  And don't get mad at everyone because you work and sometimes people make choice to go out and enjoy their life on a weekday.

Tamara Barney - YIKES!!! Where to start with this broad???  She is the self-proclaimed Hottest Housewife.  Alrighty.  She is horribly two - faced in shows I watched today, she is rude, and pretty classless, even her husband sent her to etiquette class. Superficial, judge mental and completely phoey.   She appears to be just a flat out witch, she really thinks she's something because she gets botox and has implants.    She says nothing nice about people, even the ones she calls her friends.    There is nothing about this "housewife" that is REAL MOM.  The second the economy hit this family hard the relationship and marriage crumbled like a sand castle.  They built a home and used it as and ATM machine for jewelery, Cars, Yachts, and plastic surgery obviously.  As soon as that well dried up she was all of a sudden unhappy with her husband. SHOCKING!!!!   In Tamara's defense, her husband really was kind of a drip and didn't have much of a sense of humor or personality.   Her oldest son has been in jail, and is a complete no talent.  Was living on unemployment in their home and had money for tattoos and $400 jeans. WAY TO RAISE A WINNER!!!  He is a spoiled OC punk that it is doubtful that he will ever contribute anything of value to the world.  Difference between a REAL MOM and Tamara is that Tamara rarely puts her kids  first and is more concerned about her appearance than the kids upbringing.  She is just a mean girl.  There isn't too much about her that is attractive as a person.  I know her looks are hot but how far can that get you.  It doesn't seem to have served her so well because all her "Stuff" and everything now has her living in an apartment.   Tamara, you might want to consider coming over to the Mom side of the aisle,  we don't get our friends "Naked Wasted" and purposely try to make others look bad.  We could teach you how to be kind to people.  You should try it.

Lynne Curtain - Well for starters, she is in incredible shape and works out for hours a day. That is admirable.  However, you may have wanted to spend some of that time teaching your daughters some values.  How do you have a child that ends up in the high school for the disciplinary problems???  How do you let your kid graduate high school, and do nothing for 2 years??????   I see how you did it, you rewarded her with a BMW!!!!!   - I heard Lynne say several times today "I don't condone it, but that's what teenagers do."  - Lynne - only if you let them.  The world is waiting with baited breath to see what those daughters have to offer the world.    And if you are renting a house, and you are getting evicted from it maybe getting a facelift and a nose job for your daughter is the best use of your families money.  Hopefully, your business takes off with your cuffs and stuff.  I've seen them at a few Orange County stores, and it's not something this REAL MOM can afford, but hopefully it will do well for your family.

Gretchen Rossi - Well she's not a housewife and not a mother.  She's a young woman with a good business head.  Gretchen, take this with a grain of salt from a REAL MOM.  Run do not walk away from Slade.  He is a douchtastic, he is just kind slimy and gross.  He might be cute and all but he is ..... ICK.

Alexis Bellino - She is the mother of 3 with 2 nannies.  In the world of REAL MOMS, that isn't a real mom.  Why have kids if you aren't going to love and care for them??????  It is completely clear watching this woman that if her husband ran out of money she would RUN in the other direction.  Her husband is WAY sleazy and has beady eyes.  She's a little bit narcissistic and a lot full of herself.  In the news recently her home is in foreclosure and blah blah blah.  They say it was the banks mistake.  Really? The banks mistake that you can't afford to make your payments but you can afford a 7 carat necklace, and spin classes, and lunches with your friends, and 2 nannies, and botox, shopping.  Whatever.  Just another  woman obsessed with Stuff.   Over the summer her husband and her were at the Balboa Bay Club and (apparently they didn't have a nanny that day)  because their twin 2 year olds were in their stroller and rolled into the pool.   They were not harmed, but REALLY?????????  How on earth does that happen if you are not completely self-obsessed?  A word of advice from a REAL MOM,  spend a little less time putting your war paint and outfits on and spend some time trying to raise good HUMANS!

I know these shows are for entertainment purposes.  And I think today as I was home sick and taking care of my kids without the help of a nanny, wearing my 7 year old sweats and Ugg boots because I can't afford new ones, in my living room that needed to be vacuumed because I can't afford a cleaning lady, I got sucked into this Real Housewife marathon.  I now find it ironic that there is so little reality in the world of Reality Television.

I will continue to watch my reality trash because I just have a sick need to fulfill by watching it.  But what I realized today is that I am so grateful for my reality life and the little that I have because there is true happiness in it.  Sometimes there is not money, sometimes I don't wear make-up, somedays I don't get a shower until bedtime, sometimes the Autism gets to me, sometimes my husband gets to me, sometimes the terrible twos are more than I can handle,  sometimes I burn dinner, sometimes I wish I was a lot thinner, but I am happy and I have friends and family that are awesome.  I will be a REAL MOM over being a "Real" Housewife anyday!!!

If you don't watch the shows, I'm sorry for the long post but thank you for reading.  Let me know what you think.