Monday, September 26, 2011

It's here, It's here!

I am such a sucker for Halloween.  I have always loved this holiday.  I don't know why.  I think its the feel of fall in the air, and the candy, and that it brings out the kid in everyone.  We went to the Pumpkin Patch this weekend, and everyone surprisingly had a great time. 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Sunday Morning Snuggle

Okay,  I was all amped and had my clothes out and was going to head over the the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.  Franklin was still up at midnight and I drank coffee at a party we went to and couldn't sleep.  My alarm went off at 5am, and I thougth I hit the snooze, and apparently shut it off.  Woke at 7:45,  and the race had already started and I was a good 30 minute drive and 30 minutes to find parking away from it.

So I felt horrible.  I paid my money and missed the race.  I will run later today.  But tell me how could I have been expected to leave this in the dark so early this morning.  The snuggles that I appreciate as a mommy now because I know one day they won't want to snuggle their mommy like they do now as toddlers.

So as guilty as I felt to miss the race, was as great as I felt to be a mommy and snuggle with the boys.  I ate a cake pop for breakfast, so I will run to get it off, and laugh at my imperfections as a runner and athlete.


Monday, September 19, 2011

Motivation Monday

I was so getting my groove on this week with running.  I knocked off 24 miles this week, with my big run yesterday of 8 miles.  Well today I feel like an old man that just fell down a flight of stairs, I'm creaking and aching and stiff and sore.  I thought I was done with that. 

So I'm taking tonight off, maybe just a stroll with the kids in the stroller and the dogs.  I am getting closer to the goal of running an half marathon and it is doing crazy crap to me, like it made me crave a salad today rather than fast food, it made me look up other workouts to do or perhaps yoga to help with my soreness.

I'm still not sure that I have become this running mom, and as much as I can't tolerate skinny bitches, I am starting to like the running mom and the new physique that I'm getting.  I will never be a bedazzled skinny bitch, but I am fit, and I'm in shape.  Yesterday we took the boys for a little hike, and I had to carry the 40 lb 2 year old back up the hill, and I wasn't dying for oxygen at the end, a little winded but it didn't kill me.  That there is HUGE.  

So if you're struggling and hating it the working out and fitness, just do something today for 20 minutes.  Something, anything, wrestle with your kids, walk your dog, mop, vacuum, or try and walk around the block.  Get your sweat on it will do more than you can imagine or understand.


Friday, September 16, 2011

Team Jenny!

This is written with a horribly heavy heart.  I know someone today this losing their battle with cancer.  And I'm sad, for her children, her partner, her family and her friends. 

I sit here praying that Jenny and her loved ones are comforted by God's grace and the love they all have for each other, and that she makes a peaceful transition.

You see, I only chatted with Jenny online, I know and worked with her partner Steph for a few years.  Since I had battled cancer prior to Jenny's diagnosis it was a bond that Steph and I had at work, and we would talk about treatments and what to do and what was next, and everything.  And I truly grew to care for these women as a couple and the family that they were.

Since I have seen the news on facebook and know that Jenny has taken a turn for the worse, I sit here and have not been able to get her or Steph and Jenny's boys off of my mind for days now.  Her courageous battle with the horrid disease has been with grace and dignity and she really fought hard.  I did not have a battle like a lot of people who have had or have cancer, so I sit here and guilty wonder why and also say thank goodness.  A weird combination of emotions.  I haven't had anyone succumb to the disease since I had it, and it has just taken my breath away, I feel so fortunate, and so guilty.

To Jenny and all that are fighting the Big C.  Thank you for being such shining examples of grace and dignity, and keeping your head high.  Thank you for showing us the smile in the darkness.  Thank you for fighting the fight and showing people it can be done.  I will miss our facebook chats Jenny, and hearing about your days and how you were fighting the fight, and I loved being your cheerleader and you mine.  I'm sorry Steph for the shitty time you have to endure now, and I will do anything you need to comfort you. 

God Bless You Jenny.


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I opened a can of Whoop Ass

Those special souls that choose to work with special needs kids directly are gifted and patient people to a level that I could never even fathom being.  I admire and respect all the work my kids teachers, behaviorist, therapists do directly with my kids, and they treat my kids just like they were their own.

Today was the first day of school, and Franklin takes the bus to and from his special ed. pre-school.  Today the bus bringing Franklin home was 45 minutes late bringing home my special boy.  So at 20 minutes late I called Transportation Dispatch and the line was busy, so I called another number in Transportation that I had and that was no answer after about 100 rings.  So I then called the school to make sure they had in fact put my boy on the bus, and they said yes, and they also couldn't reach the Transportation department. 

They didn't seem alarmed at all, but as the minutes clicked I really got anxious.  School was on hold with transportation now trying to find the driver, they said they would call back in 5 minutes.  In that 5 minutes still no bus has arrived, and now it's 30 minutes late, and called back and no answer at school or transportation.  SERIOUSLY?!

So I did what any mother in a panic attack would do, and I called the Superintendent of the School district and told them if they did not find my son in 5 minutes I was going to call the Police for a missing child/kidnapping.  Well the results are amazing when you throw that out there, and miraculously they were able to get a hold of the driver who said they were 2 minutes away from the house.

So this is going to have to be said because, and if I'm not politically correct or polite in the next paragraph, they'll have to get over it.

If you are working in an area where you will be dealing with special needs kids, autism, handicapped and specifically the childrens parents there are things you need to know.

  • We are not nuts, but we are advocating in most cases for children that can not speak we expect answers, the right answers, immediately if not sooner (especially when we want to know the whereabouts of our kids).
  • When we can not find our kids when they are in "your" care, when we call, RUN, do not 'effing walk to find them, do not put us on hold, do not say you will call back in 5 minutes FIND THEM NOW!!!!
  • Unless you have a child with special needs that can not talk and let you know how scared they actually are because their routine is completely jacked up because of someone elses stupidity and incompetence you don't "Understand how I feel".
  • These are our children, not a late UPS package that is being delivered, do not treat them as such, and tell me "we were backed up today".   Would that be an acceptable answer to you if no one could find your kid for 45 minutes???? 
Our children rely on their structure and routine, and when my boy arrived home with crocodile tears coming down his face because he was obviously scared and frustrated after sitting on the bus for over an hour, know I am going to come unglued because someone on your end did not do their job and my child and I are going to pay the price via a epic melt down that could have been avoided by someone paying attention.  If this is too much perhaps you are not fit to work with warrior parents who expect you to advocate and care for their children as you may expect yours to be cared for.   Imagine for a second the panic you would feel if you couldn't find your kid for 45 minutes and there was no sense of urgency and mediocrity was the best you could get from those you were pleading to help you.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Who is she and what did she done with Rebecca?

I'm not sure who this woman is that woke up at 5:15am today and happily trotted off on a run this morning.  It surely is not Rebecca, who would procrastinate, and snooze button herself into a late day.  What has happened?  When did exercise become something I looked forward too?

I am happy to report that I consistently ran over for the last week minimum of 2.5 miles everyday with my longest run of the week being 4.2 miles.  I don't care that I run at a snails pace.  I don't care that I'm still not sure what a tempo run is (like the real runners), I don't know how to do speed work, and am too afraid to ask someone.  So I just keep trecking along my neighborhood trails or my treadmill in the garage, and everyday I get a little bit stronger, go a little bit farther and feel a little bit better.

This running thing was supposed to be my Lenten sacrifice.  I started on Ash Wednesday, and said I was going to commit to doing at least 20 minutes of running or walking a day.  By the end of Lent I did a 5K, I have done 3 more 5K's and am training for a 1/2 marathon now.    This was what I was doing for Lent, Easter has come and gone months and months ago, and I'm still getting at least 20 minutes of exercise a day.

How did that happen?   How did I get hooked?  I was thinking about this on my run this morning.  I think because I took the running like baby steps.  20 minutes, I can do anything for 20 minutes.  I can carve 20 minutes out of my morning or day somewhere to get something done, and now I usually take and get more than 20 minutes.  I think it was that tiny commitment of time that made the exercise not such a burden to my schedule,  it wasn't an overwhelming amount of time that I was going to end up giving up because I couldn't find 90 minutes in my day anywhere, and go with the excuse that I don't have time.  I commit daily to 20 minutes, now I'm running before work and since I go so early I am up and out for 30 - 50 minutes before anyone in the house knows I'm gone.

I feel better, I'm looking better, I'm happier.  I need to eat a little bit better, I have come a long way with that, but I have big areas that need improvement.

When Lent started in March I had lost 40 lbs.  Since Lent has started I am down another 40lbs. through diet and exercise.  I don't belong to a gym, I don't have a personal trainer, I bought a pair of running shoes and dusted of the treadmill we bought a few years ago and the weights my husband has moved into 3 different houses since we have been together.  I use a lot of online resources and workout apps.  THe Nike Training Club is AWESOME, like having a personal trainer, and Nike + tracks and motivates me to run.  The technology that is out there is very motivating and making me very accountable.    It's very bizarre, I almost feel like I'd be letting people down if I stopped exercising,  and posting about it.  However, I may also be dilussional and people on Twitter and Facebook may be glad I'm not longer yapping about it.

So to all you fitness newbies out there.  If I can do this, you can do this.  Get out there and do something anything you like or don't like.  Just give it 20 minutes and see what happens.

Friday, September 2, 2011

The Warriors I admire and follow

I am having a little kumbaya moment here, so you'll have to bear with me.  Over the past 6 months since I started the blog, trying to utilize my time while I am held hostage in my house because of my kids therapy schedule.  I have hooked up with amazing moms and women in different areas that are making me become a better mom and person.

Through facebook an ASD moms group near where I live in So Cal that is the most rocking amazing group of mommies I have ever encountered.  You all teach me daily how to walk this maze of autism and the life that comes with it with way more dignity and grace than I would ever be able to muster alone.   On some days I'm sure I would be huddled in my bathtub crying drinking margaritas if you all couldn't talk me off the "cliff".   And for you all I thank you, my kids thank you, and I am truly a better mom and person for knowing you.  You all so impress me and make me strive to be a better mommy to my kids because I see what good and special mommies you are to our "special" kids.  ASD, and A.F.S.A YOU ARE AMAZING AND GOD BLESSED ME WHEN HE PUT YOU IN MY LIFE.

Through blogging and reading blogs and twitter I also found this influential and motivating group of people that have helped me on this journey of fitness.   I honestly don't know how that works, because I feel the compulsive need to be accountable to basically a group of strangers, and in 6 months it's helped me drop about 50lbs.  I post my workouts, I read your blogs and troll your sites and twitter feeds for tips and holy shit balls I even follow some of the direction.  So @Unnaturalmother, @bookieboo, @roninoon, @fitmomcolorado, @mrsfatass, and a whole slew of others.  Thanks for taking the 50 lbs from me, thank you for making me run races, and try things in my life I never would have seen myself doing.  Running a 1/2 marathon are you serious???? That is what skinny bitches do, not chubettes like me.  So I thank you again for giving me the boost that I needed to find a love for my health that helps me be a better wife, and mommy to my special boys.

So to all you warrior moms out there who labor every day to be the best mommies we can be through either a healthy lifestyle or just holding each other up because autism tries to tear us down, have a Happy Labor Day.