Monday, May 30, 2011

Real Moms of OC: Autism Ruled the Day Today - gotta make the best o...

Real Moms of OC: Autism Ruled the Day Today - gotta make the best o...: "Today was one of those beautiful Southern California days where it's warm but not hot a little breezy the perfect day to get the family out ..."

Autism Ruled the Day Today - gotta make the best of it

Today was one of those beautiful Southern California days where it's warm but not hot a little breezy the perfect day to get the family out for a little outing.  Beach, lake, shopping, park.... anything.

Well today Franklin and his Autism had different plans for us.  Dressing him now is a complete drag.  He's being potty trained so he really just doesn't want to wear clothes at all, and as soon as you get the clothes on him, he has undressed and is running around naked.  I dress him  again, and that makes him cry, I'm trying to block and re-direct his behavior, suffice it to say he as finally dressed and then I had to change my clothes because they were now filled with tears and snot (not mine).

Last night, (I will knock on wood for tonight)  he would NOT go to sleep until after 10, and then he woke up at 3am and wanted to play, so to keep him quiet I joined him in his bedroom and played and finally got him back to sleep at 430, and my alarm was set for 5am I was planning on running a 5K today, but I woke up and just wasn't feeling it and elected to sleep instead.  For my fitness friends,  I am feeling the guilt on this to no end.  I was real excited about running this race, but onward and upward and I'll do the next one in a couple of weeks.

So after the dressing fiasco and packing the car to take the kids to the beach, as soon as we got down to the ocean Franklin threw an enormous fit.  Sometimes the sound of the ocean flips him out, this set off the 2 year old,  but I made sure our family took a g-d damn walk today even if we did ruin everyones serenity of walking on the park above the ocean.

We got some lunch and brought it home and filled the backyard pool up for the kids and it was nothing but smiles laughter and fun for the rest of the afternoon.  I have learned with autism to make lemonade out of a lemon kind of day.  So all in all it was a decent afternoon.

These kind of days used to rule the house, and they happened more often than not, but with all the work that he does and therapy he gets we have a lot more good days than bad days, and I think I forgot that for awhile today.  Probably our last 10 outings have been really good, and he has tolerated most things.

My husband goes immediately to, we can never take them anywhere, we can't vacation, we are stuck at home, blah blah blah.  The Drama Queen in him comes out when any situation that we are involved in is not ideal.  I have to tune that out, because in my husbands defense when Franklin has a good day, daddy is his biggest fan and cheerleader.

Now being that this is the month of graduations and weddings and we actually have quiet a few events to attend, the fear and anxiety is setting in. Will he be good? What will he do? what will people say? What will other kids do to him?  Just overwhelming ridiculous noise in my own head.  I will do the best I can to make the environment as acceptable for him as I can, and if I can't then we will have to leave, and for a couple of the events, I have already gotten babysitters.

So with anticipation, bring on the Pomp and Circumstance and hopefully all good behavior days for my kids.  If you have invited someone to your party and their kid has autism, don't take it personally if they leave, don't come even if they RSVP, bring special food, or their kid isn't dressed up in their finest party attire.  Autism and all that come with it are more than people can take in, so if they do make it be welcoming and happy.  Congratulations to all the graduates, fathers, and brides.


Friday, May 27, 2011

We're having a Date Night

It's been so long I almost don't know how to act.  But my husband and I are having a date night this weekend.  Just the two of us, no kids, no diaper bags, no sippy cups, I don't have to bring toys into the restaurant to keep a child entertained (he has his i phone).

I have a babysitter lined up and we are planning on dinner and a movie.  We rarely go to the movies, I can't even remember the last thing we saw together at the movies, and we are going to dinner!  He has a place in mind that he wants to try we have wanted to go there for awhile and from what I've heard it isn't a kid friendly restaurant (THANK GOODNESS), so we figured date night is the perfect night to try it.

Here is my trepidation about the whole evening.  I am a fly by the seat of my pants, go with the flow kind of person and my husband is a bit more high maintenance than I am.  Let's say we had decided to go the Restaurant "A" and when we drove there it had just burned to the ground, well I would say lets just find a new place and continue, and would be completely happy with being at any restaurant where I didn't have to cook it, clean it, and got to actually eat hot food without a toddler sitting on my lap, climbing on my back or taking food of my plate.

Now if we got to Restaurant "A" and it had burned to the ground that morning and that is what my husband had in his mind where we were going, and it was now a pile of rubble, our evening would be over, or he would be profoundly irritated that he was not aware of the change of plans hours in advance so he could prepare himself, he does not roll with the punches well.  It's hard to believe that he is also the parent of toddlers and one with Autism when you don't roll with the punches.

So in preparation for our date night I got the movie tix in advance so we don't get to the theater and it be sold out, and I made a reservation for the restaurant, and the babysitter is super punctual.  So if all goes well we should have a good night.  I will even straighten my hair and put so make-up on.  I won't do the drag queen makeup job that the real housewives wear to the gym, but I will look decent and I might even wear my new cute outfit I've been saving for a special occasion. 

This Mom really needs a night out.  It has been so long.   I love my kiddos and feel a little weird saying I need a break from the madness for a couple of hours.

So hopefully we will be getting back on track with date nights.  Our marriage is in a valley right now and we have some work to do on both of our parts.  We have let everything else over the past couple of years take over our relationship, and our relationship is weakened and suffering because of it.  So we are trying to fix the cracks in the foundation. (This is where I get to ride the moral high horse over the real Train Wrecks of OC)  Between Autism, and new baby, cancer, alcoholism and this crappy economy and the financial woes that go with it, momma needs a night out and a good time.  We have to get to know each other again.   I miss my husband and the fun we used to have.  So Bridesmaids and Pizza e Vino here we come, you better be on your best behavior!!!


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Well June Cleaver I am not

I just really don't get it.   I see other moms and wives and their houses are always tidy and in order, and 1/2 of the time my house looks like a bomb exploded in it.

There is laundry, there are dishes in the sink, diapers to change, trash cans to take out, floors that need to be vacuumed, bathrooms that need to be cleaned, beds made, clothes folded and put away, dogs to feed, poop to pick up...... the list is never ending, thankless, and ridiculous.  I am the only one cleaning, Phyillis Diller once said, "Cleaning house will you have children is the same as shoveling your walk way in a snow storm".  No kidding!!!! She should have said children and husbands, I'm not sure who is messier the kids or him.

 It's 11o'clock, I get up to go to work at 4am.  All the dishes are done, there are 3 loads of laundry in baskets at the foot of my bed to be put away in the kids rooms they are asleep, and lunches are made, and I got a workout in.   Everyone is asleep, I will leave for work at 4:30, and when I get home from work at 11AM this house will look like banshees ran through and destroyed my hard work.  The same thing happens every day.

So you people need to tell me how you get it all done,  I want to be a good mommy, a good worker, a good wife, a good blogger, fit, healthy and not insane.  So other than stealing some kids ADD medication, I need to know how you all do it????  With small children I'm sure it will get better but for now I'm at a loss.  I want Calgon to take me away but I don't want to have to clean the bathtub afterwards! 


Sunday, May 22, 2011

I didn't fall, I was pushed - this time

As I embarked on this fitness and health journey a few months ago, I never really expected to like doing the exercising that I would have to do to get healthy.  I really never thought I would like to run, I wanted to like it but didn't think I would.  I am growing a little bit more fond of it everyday.  I am far from saying that I love to run but I am enjoying it especially if I get to get out on the road alone with no kids or dogs just me and my Ipod, my treadmill does me really good too. 

So I did a 5K a couple weeks ago and finished, not as strong as I'd like but I am signed up for another 5K next weekend and a 10K in the middle of June, and I'm hoping to be ready for a 1/2 marathon by the end of October.    This week I decided I would kick my running workouts into high gear and add a little P90X just to be cocky.   Because you see I finished 1 race and I got that bad-ass brain going on.   That will always be my downfall, I get a little cocky and WHAM life comes and knocks me right back down to size.

I am running one night this week, and I am running farther than I've run before at a pretty good time, and I felt so strong, and I came home from my run happy at my accomplishment.  I have been following a good food plan and running tips from other fit moms on the Internet and I actually felt like I may be able to do the 10K in a couple weeks!

Well I get home do some ab work a little, weights and then shower and go to bed because I leave for work at 430am.  Except this day at 130AM I am woken by the most horrible stomach pains and nausea I have felt in YEARS,  I had cancer and never felt this bad.  Well you know what happens next,  the runs and vomiting for the next 2 days.  Today I felt a little better and got to keep some food down and I was able to take my dogs for a 2 mile walk.  Trying so hard not to get off track.  How many times have I started and exercise regimen and let a little bout of the sniffles derail me???  More than I could count.

I hate that I feel off this fitness track that was so hard for me to get on months ago in the first place, but I was pushed off by some violent flu.  This will be a first though, I will not let a little sickness  derail months of work.  I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and start slow and get back to it as fast as possible.

Tomorrow morning 5/22/11 the Orange County Triathlon runs right in front of my house.  This will be the first time in 7 years living in this house that I will be out there cheering them on.  As a former chubster,  I was not all that supportive of the athletes, now I'm in AWE of them.  I won't be cooking bacon as they run by but I will be be out there cheering on amazing athletes that are attempting something so incredible to me that I owe them that respect because they a blazing the path of health and fitness for me to follow.


Friday, May 13, 2011

Terrible Two's that no one tells you about

To all you "so-called" friends of mine that had children before I did.  I need to know if I did something horrible to you that you would keep a secret like this from me?  Why would you not tell me that my beautiful chubby little baby would turn into this thing that is beyond monster?  I have heard the phrase Terrible Two's my whole life, I didn't really experience it with my 4 year old, that may or may not be because of his autism.  He was such a great little guy.  However, Jackson has obviously been snatched and replaced with this horrible tantrum throwing, biting, hitting, screaming gremlin.

It's like all those "non-beautiful" things that non tells you about pregnancy either.  The hemorrhoids, gas, ravenous hunger, hip and back pain, pooping when you push, amongst a plethora of other things that would make your head explode if you were totally aware of the enormity of stuff going on with your body.  So people keep it a secret and let it surprise and shock the hell out of the hormonal ones.

So after the shock and awe of pregnancy and throwing a kid or two out of your va jay jay, you get the incredible pleasure of debilitating sleeplessness, a hormonal shift that would kill and elephant, and for and added bonus you get to feel like a hobo most of the time begging for a shower (especially if you have more than one kid).   The soreness of all of your body and sheer amount of times a baby craps in the first six weeks is baffling.  To all you moms that don't tell your friends or prep them for any of this WHY??? 

Since Franklin was so mild mannered (maybe because of Autism, but who knows?)  So now that Jackson came a long I was and still am not prepared in anyway for the craziness that has taken over a big part of our lives.

If you are the judgement type of person that is going to offer your opinion at how poorly I am handling the Terrible Two's - then please stop reading now.

I am not saying my Terrible Two's are worse than yours or any one's I am just trying to relay how unprepared (and sometimes how inadequate I feel) as a mom I was for this stage of childhood.  This stage is nearly the same type of maternal ass kicker that Autism was in the beginning.  I was not prepared for the screaming the hitting, the biting, the antagonistic and crazy character defects that are plaguing my once sweet little baby.

He throws tantrums, he bites, and hits (ME) his brother and I wont' have it, so rather then get CPS called on me, I have been locking him in his room.  Social praise is the number 1 motivator for Jackson bad attention is attention, so making him stay alone for 3 minutes is what I have chosen for punishment.  3 minutes is all I can handle because of the blood curdling scream that he has come up with in defiance of his "Time Out", I am almost certain he doesn't even take a breath.
Last week, my brilliant husband and I decided to take the kids to a new restaurant in town,  a burger place, order at the counter and they bring to your table.  We take the kids in have all their "stuff" to keep them happy in restaurants that all the time works and makes them happy whenever we have gone to restaurants before.  So we order our food, my husband gets our drinks we are patiently sitting there for about 2 minutes, and out of nowhere, (and I mean there was absolutely no reason for it) comes this tantrum of epic proportions.  2 sodas were pushed off of the table and a bowl of salsa went flying into the wall.  Did I mention the restaurant had only been open for 3 days.  So my husband, who is a drama queen in his own right says "I'm so embarrassed we have to leave" .  Meanwhile the 2 year old is bucking and throwing himself onto the table and trying to get out of the booth.  So I get the kids and we leave.  Out in the parking lot Jackson does this thing to his shoulder blades to make himself slick so I can't get a good grip on him as he is kicking and screaming and trying to get out of my arms.  I have the Autistic one getting upset and holding onto my dress so we can walk through the parking lot without getting hit by a car. (My husband is busy getting the salsa off of his shirt and carrying the diaper bag)    Jackson's thrashing about has made it necessary for me to put him down and then he throws himself down on the asphalt, so the only way I can get a good hold of him is by the neck of the back of his shirt with one hand and the other hand at the bottom of his shorts.  Probably looks like I am going to ram his head into the side of my car when we finally get there.  Now this event did not go unnoticed by a couple people who told me that I was terrible for carrying him that way (well Jackwagon if you could do it better, BRING IT ON!)  

As I have them both in the car, here comes my husband leisurely strolling out of restaurant and telling me how embarrassed he is for what happened.  Seriously????!!!  There were no words or actions that would keep me out of jail I could say, except "Where is the food?"  ..............


Monday, May 9, 2011

Real Moms vs. Real Housewives Episode 9 Real Moms Kick Ass

I watched the episode of the Real Train Wrecks of Orange County.  The last couple weeks have been pretty boring for the ladies. (I really am using the term "ladies" loosely)  There is only so much self-induced drama and narcissism that you can comment on week after week.

 In the last couple of weeks we've got Alexis crying like a baby because her husband didn't go to dinner party with her, so she hid in the bathroom,  really???? Alexis, put on your big girl panties before you go out and SUCK IT UP.  You said Jim didn't like hanging with those women, well I've watched your husband on TV and maybe there are some of the chicks that don't like him either.  He's a little bit creepy and egotistical and hypocritical, and should may be worry about paying your mortgage than hanging out with a bunch of middle aged busy bodies.    You claim to be rich, yet you short sold your house.  The funniest thing ever was when the Bellino's lawyer said the short sale or loan modification was a good business decision, and in following week's episode he spent $27K on watches.  I thought the bible said to pay your debts.  Perhaps those scriptures are to inconvenient to live by, because as Alexis says "I'll lie, and then God forgives me".    I am pretty sure that is more facial inject able brain paralysis because I'm not sure that is the teachings of the Christian church.  Yes, God does forgive, but if you choose to do wrong when you know it's wrong because Gods' going to forgive you......  might want to talk to that preacher about that.  Here is a tip based off of just plain old common sense.  Rich people pay their mortgages, and they also know the definition of couture.  Seriously,  your definition was clothes that are for the rich...... stop injecting crap into your face it's making you stupid.    I looked at your dress line $69 for a cotton sundress, well there ain't a real woman in OC I know that is buying a beach cover up for $70 from a woman who doesn't pay her bills, but good luck to ya.

Vicki and Tamra you sat there like the mean girls sitting in the back of the high school bus.  Did y'all never learn the rule, if you can't say anything nice - then don't say anything.  God, you really must think that you two got it going on.  Vicki you are horribly rude and disrespectful to your husband and have been for most seasons  (blame it on the editing).  But for the love of God, if all you have to do is talk about how much you work and how much you like to work, and how great you are at work, and how awesome you are because you work and anyone that doesn't work like you you turn your nose up to and judge.  Well I hope Coto Insurance fills your "love tank" because if you treat people that lousy forever that's all you're going to have.   And Vicki maybe so you can work less, give some of these chicks jobs so the taxpayers can stop supporting them through loan modifications.

Tamra.   You have for sure have hit the parental trifecta for public humiliation on your children.  I know, I know you don't allow your kids to watch the show.  But you can not tell me that the Botox has paralyzed the common sense part of your brain.  Do you think that the children around you aren't watching and torturing those kids at school?  Let's see, naked in a bathtub with a guy you knew about 6 days, body shots, and lesbian making out and yapping about it.  Oh and for the extra you talking about how wasted you were that you didn't even know what you were doing.  Didn't you say last year you were wasted at your party where you were trying to get Gretchen "naked wasted"?   You're 43 years old, grow up, your kids are looking to you for an example.

Reading the newspaper this morning is what set me off today,  that Peggy Tanous is delinquent for years on her property taxes and doesn't pay her mortgage and has the gall to say, the lender "wants to foreclose on us" is what really made me angry.   Here is some reality for your reality TV.   Honey, you drive a Bentley, just had plastic surgery, and obviously inject a lot of crap into your face and you choose to do that over pay your mortgage.  This was the article that sent me over the edge.    You can not be that delusional to think that plastic surgery should come before your mortgage.  Apparently all those facial inject ables do something to the moral compass of the brain of a woman in Orange County.     I am clipping coupons and coloring my own hair because my husband is a stickler for paying our mortgage, and I am doing without shopping, and manicures so I can stay home and really take care of my kids.  WTF?????   We all have lost value in our homes, that does not give you the right or invitation to put your irresponsibility onto the rest of us that are working our tails off just to keep our heads above water.    You are a cry baby about Alexis and seriously buck up and do something but bitch on this show, perhaps use the salary that you make on it to PAY YOUR MORTGAGE so the rest of us don't have to.     You are not and can not be what is portrayed as a woman or a mom of Orange County.  There is not a self-respecting woman that I know that lives here that would pull the shenanigans that you and the Bellino's have done with your homes.

Gretchen, go get your own show, go away from Slade.  Work on the voice a little you still sound like a yipping chihuahua.  Those women are poisonous, and they don't bring out the best in you, so stay in Costa Mesa and let Tamra and Vicki be jealous of you from a far.  Because for sure it is Tamra is jealous of you.  Just take the high road and be a lot classier than her. (Not that would take very much).

I began watching this show years ago because they all lived near me, and I frequented establishments that were on the show, and it was the most exciting thing that happened in this area that rolls up the sidewalks at 9pm.  But there is now a lack of Reality on this Reality TV show.  To the rest of the country,  these chicks ARE NOT in any way shape or form indicative of the class and morals of "Real Moms" of Orange County.  A "Real Mom" vs. A "Real Housewife"  is a good person, family before self, works hard, loves more, gives for their family.  There is no narcissism, no me time, no shopping before bills, we workout and go to the store without the full Drag Queen make up going on.  Real Moms do not wear La Cage Au Folles Eyelash extensions to the gym.  If we have grey hairs showing because she needed tires on her car before a beauty treatment so be it.  If she has to paint her own toes or goes without a manicure or pedicure because her kids wanted swim lessons, it's for the kids.  Real Moms are amazing and would walk through fire for the families and their friends.  Real Housewives,  there is nothing behind that you facade has to offer that I would ever give up.  You are an embarrassment to the real women of Orange County.

You really pissed me off this morning.  But that's cool, I'll get a good run out of it.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

The 1st 5K that made the happiest Mother's Day

Well it came and went.  I ran my first 5K on 5.7.11 the day before Mother's Day.  32,000 participants in the Revlon Run/Walk for Women's Cancer.

Last year on Mother's Day I still had drains hanging out of me from my mastectomy and hysterectomy.  And as I entered this race I was 14 months free from Cancer.  I was overwhelmed by the massive amounts of cancer survivors at the race and the amount of women that were there being pushed in wheelchairs that were currently battling the beast of cancer.  It was overwhelmingly emotional.  I realized that I was one of them, I was a fighter and I was able to beat the beast.

I ran with a friend of mine "J",  she is a cancer survivor and has been free from cancer for 5 years.  She had this crazy scary BOOGA BOOGA virus cancer, it was scary and her treatments and surgeries were long and aggressive and painful more than anyone should have to endure, and she kicked cancers ass.  She has always been a great athlete and began running after her battle with cancer and is doing marathons, 1/2 marathons, and she basically has been my inspiration to run.  So "J" thank you for inviting me to this amazing inspirational event that I will never forget, or never miss.

So here we go and on with the race, as we were herded like cattle to the starting line and crammed together while waiting the celebrities, and Revlon execs talk and inspire the crowd.  Well along came a group of children who's teacher had just lost her battle with breast cancer and they sang "Amazing Grace", which on my best day makes me well up with tears, well today it turned the flood gates on.

So the start of the race is a bit slow because everyone is running under the stage being waved at by the ridiculously beautiful Halle Berry.  Once we were able to get going I was good we set about a 14 minute mile pace, but I swear from my crying I couldn't get my wind (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it).  I had to stop to walk 3 times but just for a minute and then I was good.   As we ran the streets of LA through walkers and joggers and babies in strollers and people with pink outfits we were then coming down the tunnel of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum onto the field and crossing the finish line was amazing.

For those 43 minutes all the chatter that normally goes on in my head about how I won't do it or can't do it was gone because I was just knowing I could do it,  I knew I would finish, crappy time but I finished.  I got the first race under my belt.  I felt fit, I felt (not thin) but not like the fat girl,  I felt good, I felt happy, I felt relieved.

I felt that I was given the best Mother's Day gift ever.  I got my life, my husband, my kids, my family and all my friends. What more could anyone ever want???  I got to fight and live.   Those 'effing Real Housewives really distort life for the Real Moms out there.

I am planning on my next race and hopefully it will be something a little less chaotic and more like a fun run, where it is not so emotionally moving that I have tears streaming down my face 1/2 of the race.

So on I go, to the next race a few more 5K's and working my way up to  the 1/2 marathon in January.  So you all of you mom's that inspire me, and all my fitness friends online, and my family and friends.  I am a runner.  I'm not winning any races but I am crossing the finish line, and in my book that is a win.


Friday, May 6, 2011

I'm tired of the Quiet

Earlier in the week I babysat  2 little boys "A" 6 years old and "C" 3 years old, along with my 4 and 2 year old.  So there was a toy frenzy going on at first, and then my sons had to go into therapy.
As we all sat at the island in the kitchen having various after school little boy snacks, bananas, graham crackers, cheese, and some gold fish.  I really never noticed how quiet my kids were, I sat with "A" and we had a delightful conversation. His little brother would crack in occasionally with some tid bid of information or asking for more snack.  We discussed all of the topics that I am sure most little boys throw out in their daily chatter with their buddies.  He told me about his day at school, and what Super Hero was the biggest bad ass (my words not his), what snack food was the best, how much he likes playing T-ball, and he even touched upon the really really really mean man that the Navy Seals killed.  He continued to tell me that Navy Seals were men not actual seals like at Sea World, I could hardly control my laughter.

Since a lot of days my maturity level is about that of a 6 year old, I really enjoy talking to kids, I always have.  I love the chatter and subjects that kids come up with. I like little boys and the fart humor that comes with them.

Now I am not abandoning the good graces of any other mothers out there.  I am sure that after a period of time the incessant chatter of any child may have a tendency to find your last nerve and stomp all over it.

I am also tired of the question my husband poses to anyone that works with the boys.  "When are they going to talk?"  - He really wants an actual date and he will hold them to it.
Now because of Franklin's Autism and Jackson's speech delay, my kids do not talk.  So besides a lot of babbling we do not have a lot of kiddie conversations in my house (yet).

My "normal" is non verbal communication with my kids.  PECS, sign, and just being in tune with my kids to try and meet their needs.  I am fine with it and it works well for us.  But after our afternoon play time with our friends I got a little sad.  I didn't realize how much I was missing out on.  Because our "normal" is pretty much silence, I was unaware of how much I want to have the banter about super heroes and cartoons and candy and t-ball, or even to have my kids have a fight and call each other names would be music to my ears.  (when they are finally talking and I say they are driving me crazy, please never bring this blog post up)

The silence for the last couple of days has been deafening.  I am not saying anything bad about our kids, or that I don't like how my family lives because of the non-verbal element, but I am now aware of the absence of child chatter and toddler talk in our home.

I do long for the day when my kids can tell me what they want, what they need, what hurts, how their day was, when they have an actual argument.  Hell, I am even looking forward to getting a little bit of "lip" from them.  Being that I was the queen of giving attitude and lip to my parents I am sure it is due to me also.

I am blessed with the giggles of my boys and the smiles and the cuddles that I get, and I wouldn't change a thing.  I am ready to bring on the boy noise to my home.   Autism makes our family a little "different but not less" - Temple Grandin


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My mini Rant to keep me from eating a box of donuts

There is something wrong with me today, I am restless, irritable and discontent.  And rather than stuff it and eat a box of donuts or bag of Doritos over it, I am going to unleash.  Once unleashed I will more than likely be over it.

Okay, I call businesses for insurance agents on the East Coast.  I go to work at 5am - 11.  So I can help my kids with their therapy in the afternoon.  My husband goes to work at 12 and works until 9pm.  With that being said, I realize that people view my job as the lowest form of life, however it is a job that allows me to do what I need to do to care for my family.  If people are calling on you, they are not trying to pick on you or irritate you they are most likely trying to do their best to care for their family.  Is it too much to ask for you on the other end of the phone to not be a JACK WAGON?  Someone asked me today "Don't you feel like a douche bag telemarketing?"  - "Well Dick Cabeza it's not my favorite job but it allows me to help and support my favorite people on the planet".  I like those I work with, that people allow  me to work hours that help my kids and husband so we don't have to put them in day care.  Just be nice, is it really that hard to be nice over being an a-hole?

Online - if you can sit on a computer 24 hours a day and ridicule people for having a difference of opinion than yours - go get a friggin' life.  Experience a techonology free day.   If you choose to be a coward behind a keyboard that is your prerogative but really can you try to serve a purpose on earth other than "MEAN"?

People that stare and make comments at other kids when they are acting quirky.  Please so I don't (or some other mom that I know with a child with Autism or not) slap you silly, if you have nothing helpful to do or say please for the love of God and all that is holy keep your feeble minded opinion to yourselves.  Some of these children really can not help themselves and the parents don't suck.  Would you like it if we came to your house and ridiculed all the ways your operate your life and kids?  Flippin' be nice especially to little humans.

My husband - Pick up your crap!!!! We both work.

If you are a family member that has teenagers that wipe their own asses, drive themselves to their appointments, and you have a cleaning lady and or nanny and nurse.  Keep your looks and judgement to yourself if I happen to have a sink full of dishes or laundry over flowing, I have no help, and refuse to constantly ignore my kids.  I feed them, care for them, help with therapy, drive them, bathe them, play with them and love them beyond words.  Crumbs on my floor are the least of my worries.  Do not ask me if I have fed them or if they need to eat every 7 minutes - Autism if you can't learn about AHHHHHH! Stop!

Doctors Offices and Staff - listen to your patients and the parents of the patients.  We have brains and pay attention to what is going on with our bodies, there is something wrong, which is why we took the time to sit in your waiting room looking at the 3 year old Time Magazine.  We drove there, waited for you - sometimes twice.  Don't come in after I have been there for 30 minutes and expect to tell me just "watch" it and come back in a few weeks. 

If you continually have shit to bitch about from your family, to jobs, to your kids, just stop, it serves no purpose, venting once in awhile is great, but you have to have something good to say PLEASE.  I tried something over this past Lenten season, and I wrote down 5 things that I am thankful for everyday during lent.  What a huge gift this was it I really saw the good, the bad, and the ugly in my life with a new pair of glasses.  Try it.  But I guess I'm just trying to say people, we all have to live together pleasantly, be nice to one another.  You do not have it that bad.  Get over yourselves and be happy for what you have.

There, I'm over it, I will not need a box of donuts to get through the day.  Sensitive ones, it's not a personal attack on anyone I just need to get it off my chest so I don't throw a cup of coffee at an undeserving buffoon.


Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Drama Queen that moved in

This week my 2 kids have had a bit of a tummy bug. A little diarrhea and whining 2-3 days for my 4 year old and he snapped right out of it.  My 2 year old started it Thursday evening and it unfortunately hit him a little harder than the 4 year old.  The first day was icky and 2nd day but he was not bad, so yesterday we decided to take the kids to the beach.   His poop was fairly solid in the morning before we left for the beach, so we decided it shouldn't be a problem.

We arrived at the beach with 1/2 of the belongings of our home, like people do when they go to the beach with toddlers.  Unload down at the sand, and I was sitting in the waters edge building sand castles and here comes Jackson the 2 year old strutting down the beach.  He came and sat in my lap and I felt warm and wet which as a mom coming out of a child's bum you already know it's not going to be good.  So I stand him up and he has pooh running down his legs (and also now on mine), and up the back and out of the front of the diaper. AT THE BEACH, IN THE SAND.  So I ask my husband to lay a towel down so I can try and clean this up.  I am now going to affectionately refer to my concrete form work construction foreman roughneck husband as " Drama Queen".  The Drama Queen starts his "Oh My God, that is disgusting!  What are "we" going to do? (LIKE HE IS ACTUALLY GOING TO HELP),   I bet you don't have a change of clothes (since I've never left the house since they were born without a change of clothes this is one of the statements that makes me want to rub the diaper in his face), oh no, it got on the towel, oh my god it's everywhere, I'm so embarrassed, Oh it's all over you too..... and on and on he goes.  It cracks me up as well as irritates the shit out of me,  because anytime and every time there is a vomit moment in our house he does zero to assist in the situation except to raise the level of drama.  He pisses off the kids more than they already are, just because they are sick.  He really is an Ass hat when it comes to the kids and them being ill.

Jackson was not acting ill, I showered him off, changed his clothes and he played in the sand for a couple of hours running back down the beach.

After we got home that afternoon, everything seemed fine, no blow outs, everyone napped and had dinner and baths, and the boys were on my bed watching Toy Story, my husband was in heaven because UFC was on and I cooked dinner and the kids went to sleep, and I took the dogs for a run, so he had some peace and quiet.  The weather was amazing yesterday and last night the kind of night you live in Southern California for.  I got home from a run and put Franklin in his bed,  and since Jackson had been sick I left him in my bed while I took a shower.  I got in bed with Jackson in there, and said, I'll read a little and then take him to bed, who doesn't love a little cuddle time with a 2 year old???

I don't know what happened, but I woke up and Jackson was screaming crying, and just like the exorcist his head spun and here comes the projectile vomiting that was like the scene of the movie "stand by me" during the pie eating contest  but I seemed to be the target, and he got almost 100% because he covered the majority of my torso.  So I get him off me put him on the floor, and in comes the Drama Queen screaming like a little girl that saw a spider, "O holy mother of God, what the hell happened?  What's wrong with him?  Why is he throwing up?  Are you going to the doctor?  AHHHHH, I cleaned up Jackson and stripped my bed and jumped in the shower.  In the 2 minutes I was trying to rinse myself off from the bodily fluids all over me, then here goes the Drama Queen again, "Rebecca, he's shitting, he's shitting, it's everywhere I don't know what to do".  Unbelievable.  I am out of the shower with a towel on me.   I have hardwood floor in my whole house, and when I saw Jackson standing in a puddle of his own pooh on my bedroom floor (I was so happy I didn't give in to my husband and mother in law about putting carpet in the bedroom)  and my husband standing there flapping his arms screaming like a 7 year old princess girl that saw a cockroach.  I picked Jackson up and ran into his bathroom and took off his full diaper of pooh that went everywhere because I can't control a 2 year old tantrum and a diaper full of fluids.  So Queenie is behind me "ahhhh how did the poooh get all over the place...... and on and on with his plethora of dramatic statements but not an ounce of help.  Hey, ASSHAT how about , bring me towels and a trash bag, can you stop with the little girl behavior and step into being a dad for 1 minute.  Get all of the friggin' towels in the house, or take the baby, but if you're gonna cry like a little girl and not offer a bit of assitance, I'm going to have to punch you in the eye.

So after stripping beds, showering (again), bathing the baby, all the crying has woken Franklin up, which if you are familiar with Autism we are now officially screwed for the night.  And once again here comes Queenie "Oh My God, Franklin is up too?"  "Holy mother of God", "Well I guess I'm getting no sleep tonight", "Are you shittin' me, this is great, how does this happen".  Again, all the comments I can hear from the other room, so finally I snapped.  "If you are going to bitch and complain about sick kids and not do anything to help, please go stay at a hotel, because the kids are not going to accommodate you tonight".  That finally shut the peanut gallery up for awhile.   I got Jackson asleep and then took Franklin into his bed to put him down he was obviously exhausted, and while I was coaxing the boy back to sleep which with Autism is an art form when they have been woken up or wake up in the middle of the night.  Once again I hear Queenie crying in the den.  Jackson's awake, what should I do???   I said nothing.  Hopefully the 7 year old girl personality side of my husband will leave tonight and he will come back and figure out what to do with the 2 year old.  Thankfully getting Franklin was to sleep was amazingly simple, and I was able to get Jackson calmed down and into a good sound sleep.  But not without an onslaught of questions from the 7 year old drama queen (AKA my husband).  What should we do?  (Uh, go to sleep), Should we take him to the hospital?  (And by "we" you mean "me" right?)  We can't go to the beach tomorrow, damn the weather is going to be awesome (Really Einstein do you think I want to go over our social calendar at 2am?)

There are things about me in the domestic department that can more than likely be improved.  I could probably be a little tidier, I could be more organized and I could procrastinate less.  But I think after last night that I gathered the strength and patience to let Drama Queen exist another day was above and beyond any matrimonial duty ever.  And he may have to overlook the fact that sometimes I forget a load of laundry that has been in the washer for 3 days if I can over look the fact that he turns into a 7 year old princess in the face of our kids illnesses.