Monday, January 28, 2013

Just Another Marvelous Monday Morning

I felt so guilty this morning when my friend posted on Facebook that basically she had the Monday blues, well I couldn’t have disagreed more.  I LOVE MONDAY MORNINGS.

First I digress, there is very few things that I respect more than a mom, especially a mom that works.  You have 2 full time jobs, because who are we kidding?  Running a family would make even the most busy CEO cringe some days, let alone having to run a household and a company, so my hat is off to you more than you all will ever know.

I myself am a stay at home mom of 2 boys, and a husband.  Every weekend about 4 o’clock on Sunday, I am so looking forward to Monday morning at 8:33am when those children are at school and the husband is at work. You see Monday morning at 8:33am is that time I look forward too, like a working person looks forward to Friday at 5pm.  It’s a 4 hour window of time I get to unwind from the craziness of the weekend, and caring and prepping and playing with everyone.

I start looking at my clock at about 4:45am.  I have prepped all clothes for the boys and husband, lunches are made, the coffee pot just clicked on, and I shake my husband out of bed, and push him into his shower. I pack his lunch, pour his perfectly made cup of coffee into his travel mug, I go start his car and warm it up for him, and he is out the door at 5:30am. (Yes, I’m practically shoving him out of the door – with love)

90 minutes goes by, breakfast, getting dress, brushing teeth, hair, and the school bus arrives for 1 child, and he happily runs down the driveway and gets on it.  2 down – 1 to go.  My little guy helps load the dishwasher, and washing machine, he plays a little bit, and at 8:15 we are in the car on the way to school. Singing our songs, playing “I spy”, or him reading aloud all license plates to me.

I drop of at pre-school, and make like a maniac back to my car on a Monday morning, knowing there is a quiet empty house waiting for me, and just me.

I sing to my music, I have trash reality TV on, and I clean quick and furiously.  3 beds made, 2 loads of laundry done folded and put away, vacuumed, and all toys put away in about 45 minutes, which trying to accomplish all of that with a husband and children around is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.

I enjoy the peace, and cleanliness and the accomplishment of my house, and by 10:30, I’m lonely and miss my kiddos, but am still giddy with that I have 90 minutes to myself.


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Clueless at "The Happiest Place on Earth"

Happy New Year.  I hope all are embarking on a New Year with resolve, happiness and conviction.  You can do anything, don't let the New Years Resolutions stress you out.
My children's birthdays are the same week as Christmas, so this year we took all their birthday money and Christmas presents from our family and friends and became Annual Passholders at Disneyland Resort.  I feel very blessed and fortunate that we are able to do this for our kids.
I have just returned from a quick visit there with my son who is 6.  He also has Autism and is non-verbal.  After his first visit to California Adventure a couple of weeks ago and his pure joy and excitement that was visible in the new "Cars Land", Tonight we had no extra therapy after school,  all my chores were done, and daddy was home from work early and was able to stay home with our 4 year old who was under the weather.  So I kidnapped my 6 year old and went for a quick trip to the Disneyland Resort.  This is completely blowing his structure and routine, so I could be asking for a major melt down, but hoping for the best.
In our home we watch the movie "Cars" everyday, which is why my son recognizes the area, and if you haven't been there, I highly recommend it.  You really and truly feel like you walked into Radiator Springs "The cutest little town in Carburetor County".  After we parked our car and loaded ourselves onto the tram, which I think my son thinks is a ride as he screams with glee as it drives to the theme parks!
After watching the Pixar Parade we do a couple of small rides that I know he will enjoy, and the smiles and joy you see on his face are just epic.  It fills my heart with nothing but joy.  Being that my son has developmental challenges  and delays I do get a Guest Assistance pass that basically lets us go into most rides through the exit and get on without waiting in line.  It helps my son with the crowds and standing around for a long period of time would completely ruin his time and the time of everyone around us.  So I do feel incredibly lucky that Disney sees autism as a disability and provides us with this pass.
As we used our pass to get on a ride that had a 30 minute line, there was the guy.  You know that guy with a big mouth who as a mother you want to punch in the throat for being a jerk.  As we got on the ride, he started exclaiming  "What is her money better than mine?!", the Disney Cast Member "Sir, they have a special pass that requires him to get special assistance".  The neanderthal "Yeah, sure he looks fine, there is nothing wrong, I'm calling BS on his mother and Disney".  And then the white hot rage in my belly came forth, but all that came out of my mouth was "You should probably stop talking now, because I will own you everyday and twice on Sunday because you know not what you speak and you do NOT want me to humilitate your ignorant self in front of all these lovely people."
And the tears welled up in my eyes and I got on the ride with the most precious gift in my life and put my arm around him and felt horrible that there are humans that are so horrible and clueless.  If you think Autism is a picnic and I fake it to get a Disneyland special access pass you need to be mentally evaluated.   Yes it makes my life easier at Disneyland to have a pass and it helps my kids enjoy their time at Disney much better.
I would give up the access pass in a nano second if my kids didn't have Autism.  Their lives are so challenging and difficult FOREVER.
  • There will always be the thug and bully that was raised by the jerk in line who will want to pick on them.
  • There will always be the challenge with their motor skills to do things appropriately,
  • There will always be issues with sensory overload, there will always be social skills issues,
  • There will always be the lack of awareness in others. 
This pass turns a sensory, crowded overloaded nightmare into a "Very Happy Place" for my kids.  Not the "Happiest Place on Earth" yet, but it really helps.
If you are a naysayer that believes I'm faking and want to cut in line because it's easy, I'm sorry you are so ignorant, unhappy and angry at the world.  Maybe you should look at your own kids who have no issues (except a jerk as a parent) and be grateful and happy because your kids
  • were potty trained at 3 years old
  • go to school and do homework without a yearly meeting with a team of people trying to decide what is best for your kid
  • plays on a sports team, or other kind of socially involved club
  • has regular play dates and friends
  • sleeps through the night at 6 years old
  • cognitively understands you when you say something
  • can dress themselves, and feed themselves... (shall I go on) 
Until you walked 5 feet in my shoes you and your unhappiness and jaw jacking to embarrass someone in public serve no purpose.
I look forward to challenging and helping my kids get social skills this year and I have a huge tool that will help me.  I hope and pray  you can smile at us and know how truly happy we are that growing, and moving forward with the obstacle of autism and by allowing us to "cut in front" of the line you are helping make that lesson possible.  So for that I thank you and hope it doesn't ruin your time at "The Happiest Place on Earth".

Sunday, January 6, 2013

My "Bridesmaid" moment

2013 is well underway, I've signed up for a race every month this year, and 3 YES 3 half marathons.  So my ass needed to get in gear, and get some junk out of the trunk and get my wind back.  So for the last couple weeks during Christmas break I started running, well trotting, and jogging basically getting back on track.

My kids and husband were sick most of the vacation, so I just would get out on the road when I could evenings or early morning getting out on the trails with me and my dogs.

Yesterday I think I had washed the last sheet and towel from the stomach virus that all the boys of the house were plagued with.  I took a little antacid because my tummy was feeling a little sour all day but I couldn't miss my run, I was getting my groove back on and really had cabin fever so nothing was keeping me from blazing the trails that night.

So I'm into my first mile, the dogs tails are wagging, I've got awesome mix of music on and after mile one my tummy started to give me a little bit of guff.  But I was getting close to 11 minute mile, which is GREAT for me.  By mile 2 I have a grumbling, rumbling and cramping in my stomach going on, and then the gas comes. 

So I am at this "crossroads" literally.  Do I stop and walk (which I did), clenching my butt cheeks together with all I've got, because I'm now 2 miles from home IN THE DARK.  I can't go into the bushes and squat because of the real threat of a coyote, bobcat or raccoon coming out at me.  So I call my husband, who doesn't answer his phone, to get him to pick me up.  So on I forge down the streets of Orange County to get myself home. 

Clenching and wincing and trotting home, I'm trying to make it without the wedding dress in the street scene from "Bridesmaid" becoming a reality in my world. 

So I am only about a half mile from home, and literally my stride is exactly like Lillian's in the scene where she is trying to get away from the bridal store.  Oh to the vey, I couldn't hold it any longer, and started laughing because the only thing in my head was the scene from Bridesmaid where the Megan character is screaming "It's coming out of me like lava". 

The explosive diarrhea that my kids had had for several days was now passed onto mommy while she was trying to run to be healthy and care for the little dudes.  So yes 3 blocks from my house the poop came, I couldn't keep it in.  I did POOP my pants, and as I was in shock and laughing all alone like a mental patient on the street in the dark and the cold,  I couldn't stop laughing.  At least no one was with me.  At least I was wearing an old pair of running pants and not my brand new Under Armour, and thankfully I chose to wear BLACK!!!

On the side of my house I did the surfer strip down got my clothes off, hosed myself off and my clothes, threw the old pants away and headed into the house half naked and carrying a jug of Clorox and my husband saying "What the hell are you doing?"  Me: "Don't worry about it".  I locked myself in the bathroom and finished the clean up!

The lesson learned.  Run on the treadmill at home when you have a tummy ache!  These are the things that running is teaching me.  While I was humiliated and embarrassed and still can't believe that as a 44 year old mother I crapped my pants in public, but I did get those 3 miles added to my pile.  Yes, I am a mother runner.  I survived cancer, a little poop, while embarrassing and much more funny than cancer, I'll get over that too :)