Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I'll Give Up A Lot, but Never this Stuff

In this crappy economy and the “change” that isn’t working (at least for me) there have been a lot of things that I’m sure all families have had to cut back on or cut out – unless of course you are a “Real Housewife”.  But this is another testimonial at how much more it rocks to be a “Real Mom” over a real housewife.

Going from being a working woman to a (for the most part) stay at home mom, my part time job from 5am – 10am allows my husband and I to be with our kids all the time, has caused a decline in income.  With the decline in income for the past couple of years, and Autism and Cancer in our house we have had to cut back and cut out some things and adjust our lifestyle accordingly.  Unlike the Real Train Wrecks who spend and spend even though there are notices of default filed on many of their homes, my husband insists we pay our mortgage (he’s a stickler)  before Botox or plastic surgery or just general shopping for clothes that are ridiculously expensive.

After the last couple of years of “doing without” and adjusting our lifestyle I am happy to report that I am no longer feeling deprived because of the things that I have cut back or cut out completely.

I have however, realized the following list of things that I CAN NOT live without.


  • The look on Franklin’s face when he sees me when I pick him up from school
  • The way Jackson runs to me when I get home from work and plants a big ‘ol sloppy kiss on me.
  • Our family drives into Silverado Canyon so the boys can throw rocks in the creek.
  • Wrestling on the bed with daddy and the boys
  • Doing puzzles, building blocks, and playing cars
  • The patter of bare feet running on hardwood floors
  • After dinner walks to the park to play
  • Swimming with my kids
  • Neighborhood get-togethers
  • Spending time with our friends and families
  • Watching my 2 little boys sleep peacefully.
  • Getting out on the road for a nice run.

There are a few things that I miss about having a disposable income like Pedicures, and getting my hair done, especially after my last home hair color debacle that made me look like Elvira Mistress of  the Dark, and sometimes when I have an extra $20 I may go get a pedicure to get an hour of silence to myself, but the whole time I’m there I can’t wait to get home to my kiddos and husband to hear the giggles and pandemonium that is the life of a “Real Mom”.  It is so much different and so much more fulfilling than a “Real Housewife” will ever be.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

Feeding Frenzy that was called Spring Break

There is nothing like the week of a holiday to make a person (especially me) fall off the clean food wagon.  I have taken the liberty to turn this week of Easter into a ridiculous feeding frenzy of sugar and junk food that would for sure kill a diabetic. 

Last year I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Breast Cancer and was lucky enough to surgically treat it by a bilateral mastectomy and hysterectomy.  So on top of the cancer I was thrown into an early menopause at 40 years old. I was scared enough to really take a serious look at my health and began to take better care of myself so that I would be able to be here for my kids as they got older, they were 1 and 3 when this all happened. 

So for the past year of surgeries and healing I began a change of lifestyle to help beat the cancer and make my body healthy and fit.  I have lost 70 lbs and when Lent began I started the “couch to 5K” running program.   I am now able to run a 5K and am going to do my very first race on May 7th.  I am also signed up to do a ½ marathon in January.

It took me a long time to even like to run, the soreness, the lack of wind to go far, the my body feels like it was taken apart and put back together just a bit askew.  I started and I could run about ¼ of a mile, and now I am running about 3 miles before I stop to walk, so I have come a long way in 47 days.  It has kicked my weight loss into high gear, and my body has really craved “fuel” foods that are healthy and I have been eating that way, and I am happy to say I really feel like it has become a lifestyle and not just a diet.

I am typically not a sweet eater; I am more a carb girl. Something cracked in my brain this week that just made it okay to eat anything and everything that came in my path, and this little voice in the back of my head that said “STOP THE INSANITY”.  But I figured since I was running every night I deserved it. 

Well this morning at Easter Brunch, I was wearing this new pair of pants that I just bought because everything else I own is too big.  Well my new adorable pants were uncomfortably too tight.  So the party is over, and I commit to you all to get back on the wagon and lose the rest of this weight and run that race for Mother’s Day.  I can’t believe how 5 days of crap eating has made me feel like such a slug and the massive headaches that I have had all week have got to have something to do with it.  I will gladly get back on track for the simple fact I just want to feel better. Will someone come and pick up all these Chocolate Eggs please!!!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Sometimes short sometimes long - either way its good

Somedays my list of things to be grateful for is endless, somedays my list of things to bitch about seems longer than endless.  But I am really working on being and trying to stay positive so as I drove into work this morning I was thinking about all the things that I have to be grateful and thankful for and it put a huge smile on my face.

My kids -  Autism made this a different mommyhood than I expected but it's an amazing heartwarming love of these two little boys that warms my heart and makes me move forward even when I don't want to.  Every thing they do is a joy to me. ( I have to remember this the next time there is a tantrum going on at 3am)  But everypart about being a mom to these 2 is the greatest gift God could have given me.

My family - My husband, my parents, my in-laws, my brother, my kids for all that they help me do and over the last  year while I was getting surgeries and kicking cancers ass.  I couldn't have done it without your love and care and I know that from the bottom of my soul.

My friends - seen and unseen.   The words and help that have come from you all this past year has been what has carried me through some dark days and for all of you I am thankful.

Cancer - Believe it or not this time last year as I was laid up after a double mastectomy and hysterectomy I was feeling so ridiculously sorry for myself,  and now I am thankful that it gave me the much needed ass kicking to get me into my health and taking care of myself.  My body needs to be maintained so I can be around as long as possible for these kiddos.

Church - The closeless and reliablity I have found on God this year has been something I always knew was there but never leaned on it like I have this year and I am thankful its there.

My job - I'm never going to get rich working here, but I am fortunate that my boss allows me to work 5am - 10am to accomodate our schedule so my kids are with my husband or myself and our school and therapy schedules.  It takes a bit of the pressure off my husband and allows us to have our head just a little above water.

My home - I am thankful and love the home we built together, it is a place where there is  love, comfort, and laughter, the place our kids were born and being raised.

The Road - So thankful that I have discovered (by lots of encouragement) running, who knew that something I thought was so torturous would bring me so much relief.  With all the marbles and noise banging around in my head most of the time it really has brought me a clarity and strength I didn't know I was capable of.

My life - The good the bad and the ugly.  Everything in it today I am thankful for even the crazy struggles that we go through on a daily basis makes me the woman I am today  (good, bad, and ugly). 

So on this final day of Lent and going 40 days with no chips and 40 days of exercise I am incredibly thankful for all of the good in my life even on the days that I can find no good in it - I can't find it someday because I forget to look because it is always there.

Happy Easter!


Sunday, April 17, 2011

Real Moms vs. Real Housewives Episodes 7 & 8

I missed posting my critique of last weeks episode because frankly, the ladies are a little dull.  Great deal of time spent yapping about each other and Tamara's stupid joke at Alexis' party.  Obviously these chicks really need to consider counseling or Bravo needs to get some more women for this show because Tamara's classless joke has now been going on for 3 episodes.  Seriously?!  I guess it's just indicative of the classless no stick figures these women are.

But as we watch Vicki and Don's marriage crumble on TV, it really makes me feel bad for Don.  He seems like a truly nice person and Vicki is just all about me me me me me me.  If the people around her are not CONSTANTLY telling her how awesome she is she friggin' pouts like a 5 year old.  I mean come on, she blabs endlessly about how much she works, and how great she works yet last week she spanked and employee and gave another one a whole $20 bucks.  Wow, what a boss!  I am not the center of anyone's universe except maybe my 2 year old's and I am acutely aware of how good and how hard I am working at being a mom and if my husband or friends forget to tell me for a month or something, I will go on.

Tamara is all happy with her boyfriend. Good thing, because it looks like by the end of this season she is basically going to trash talk everyone on the show because she thinks she is so awesome, even after the total and complete humiliation she is putting her little kids through she still is sitting on the interview after the show with her tata's hanging out like a wanna be pole dancer.

Gretchen, seriously, I wouldn't worry so much about the fact that you think Slade is fat, but perhaps make him shower, he looks greasy.  And you're voice Gretchen honestly is starting to great on the last nerve.  You are not middle aged or married with kids.  Get away from those unhappy broad before they suck you into the abyss of their pre-menopausal mindset.  They are all crabby, and mean ladies.  So stop trying to be friends with them.  Forget about Tamara and Vicki already,  I doubt seriously that you will find two more irritable and discontent people than those chicks.

I am shocked and find it really funny that with all the show these women put on to look good for everyone, at how much time they actually spend whining.  Tamara whines, Vicki whines (unless of course she is pontificating about how much she works to the anyone that will listen), Alexis whines about her kids (you're a stay at home mom).

I just love my friends and the women that I socialize with because we really do represent "REAL" moms.   I like that we would have a picnic at the park, or just have a paper cup full of wine while roasting marshmallows in our cul-de- sac.  When we are having house or money troubles we aren't at the most expensive restaurants in OC.  We are actually not "modifying" our loans or "short selling" our houses.  We are buckling down and not buying 75 lbs worth of lip gloss for daily consumption.   And I love that if one of us pissed the other off over a classless joke, we would have dealt  with it quickly, quietly and it would not have been brought up over and over and over  by multiple texts, meals, and different people for several weeks.  What is wrong with you women???? Seriously????  Your lives can not be that shallow.  Maybe,  just maybe, you all might want to try volunteering and getting out from under the Botox and hair extensions for an afternoon and see if you have something to bring to the table instead of crying about what you aren't getting?   Just a thought.

Real Moms vs. Real Housewives,  my (limited) money will always be on the Real Moms that sacrifice for their kids, and husbands.  Who get served last at the dinner table, who are up before everyone and to bed after everyone to make sure everyone has all they need to have a successful happy day.  My "me" time is  the smile on my kids faces, because I know I had a big part in putting the smile there.   I hope the "Housewives" find that kind of contentment in anything than the material (that they obviously can no longer afford).


Saturday, April 16, 2011

Putting some spring in my Spring Break.

All I can say is thank goodness that it is Easter Vacation for my son this week.  It just eliminates a slew of things off of my daily chore list.  As much as I think the 4 year old needs a break from his 40 hours a week of school and therapy,  I need just as much of a break from getting him ready and participating in his therapy sessions.

I am looking forward to a week of what moms with "typical" kids do on vacation.  What a novelty.  Maybe I'll throw both kids in the stroller and run at the beach?  Maybe we'll go to a park during the day not right after dinner, maybe we can go to the beach, maybe they'll stay in their jammies all day.  I still go to my 5am - 11am job, before daddy goes to work.  I am sure by Friday I will be begging for school to start again after a week with a 4 your old with Autism and the Terrorist 2 year old, but for now I can't wait to run around with them and just play and be happy.

I'm kind of excited to see what the week may have in store for us, but also a little apprehensive because Franklin is so attached and reliant on the routine that it may not go well.  But I am going to go into this week with a positive outlook and see what God puts in front of us.

The weather is beautiful, I am going to get back on the running track this week, I have only run 4x this week for just 2 miles.  My race is coming up on May 7th so I need to kick it into gear.  I have literally been exhausted in many ways this week so I am looking forward to the rest and getting all things back in order and kicking ass.

I am excited about Easter, I think the kids understand a little of what is happening, I have been practicing hiding eggs and putting them in a basket for them, and getting all excited, and they are giggling with anticipation when I  get the baskets out to play with.

So after an exhausting week emotionally and physically,  I am ready to put the spring back in my step and hold my head up, play with my kids, cook, eat, (clean) run.  Get it going back on again, and moving forward to my favorite time of year.  

I hope everyone has a great week, and really remember what this week is for.  Jesus died for our sins so we could live.  Let's get out there and ask for forgiveness, and live the life we were meant to.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

If I'm gonna judge, I better come clean

So every week as I sit in judgement of the Real Trainwrecks of Bravo for being in foreclosure and getting plastic surgery and there generally ridiculous behavior.  I myself have been having a break down of bad behavior and it really is time to come clean because perhaps I can get some help from the great void.

So here goes.  I am bad with money, real bad with money.  Always have been.  I'm not talking like I have more debt than assets or anything.  But I don't like paying bills, I never have liked doing it, and I most of the time pay things late.  Everything eventually gets paid but late. I don't know why, I really don't and that is where I need the help.  I don't know if I got a screwed up gene from my dad, or if I just hate having to part with money.  Or if having to hear about this family money for the last 40 years of my life has just short circuited that part of me.  But regardless, I really do need to fix what is ailing me in this area, quickly.

My husband and I worked in the mortgage industry in the hey day, and made a ridiculous living.  We were able to buy a great house in a great neighborhood, we had our kids and then things went hay wire.  We saved a lot of money, and bough just a regular house, we didn't do the mcmansion or anything.  But with the market crash we are now upside down.  We saved a lot of money and our deficict was covered from our savings, and 4 years later we are almost out of savings.  I've cut my lifestyle to the bare minimum.  No haircuts, no nails, no vacations, we don't eat out, we just get by and enjoy our kids.   In the past 2 years I feel like I have been in a catatonic state of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and basically just threw bills that I didn't want to pay into a drawer hoping they would go away.  Autism, Cancer, Alcoholism pretty much paralyzed me.  Sometimes I would rather go buy a shirt at Target to make myself feel better than pay that doctor bill or lab or the bug man.  I have struggled and am still struggling with this.

I know that this is huge and I need help, when someone pointed it out to me today that I was stealing from my kids by wasting money.  I almost fainted.  I do not ever want to do anything that would hurt my kids.   I never thought of it that way because I felt like I always care for them.  It is so important to me to be a good mom, and I know I am.  And shallowly I for the most part I didn't go and spend money on myself, or anything like that, I just kept the money or spent it on the kids.  I'm not out getting spa days or in the cutest clothes.  I have been full of fear for the last couple of years because the economy has hit us hard.

We are both especially my husband working so hard and I am not helping us get out of the hole.  SO that is my part in this little nightmare of my husbands.  And it's not fair of me to do that, no matter what resentment I'm holding on to with him, I have no right to not help the "team".  I need to do my part, and I have been putting a wrench in the mechanism.

So I am struggling with financial insecurity and never getting the income back or even half of the income back that we had prior to the housing market crash.  I have buried my head in the sand and hoped that a lot of things will just go away.  We are not in jeopardy of losing our house, but we do not have an extra cent, and me accumulating late charge debt and spending money at Target because I need to feel better, is no longer acceptable.  There is a little bit of debt and a lot of work that needs to done to pay that stuff down and get better.

I don't want this to get worse, it is damaging my marriage, my kids, and my mind. I don't want to lose family and friends over this and I know I need to get help and get better so that I can be a good mom and good person.  I've gotten myself physically healthy (for the most part), not I need to work on that emotional and mental health.  So here I go and embark on a new journey of spiritual awakening.  Who's with me?


Sunday, April 10, 2011

Losing It

I have struggled with my weight for my entire life, and I've lost and gained and yo-yo'd and been skinny and been fat.  I was pretty happy with where I was at before I had my kids and then the mommy gut really became a GUT.  Gaining 60 lbs 2 times in 2 years and not losing all of my weight after either baby made me miserable.  The kids just ruined me, along with the pints of ice cream I was eating everyday.  (I was breastfeed, or eating for two, or I deserved a treat..... ad infinitum).

Last March when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and quickly made a decision for my treatment and had a year of surgeries and reconstruction, I began to take my health very seriously.  It is no longer a fad, or a book, or 50 grapefruits a week, or a big pot of cabbage soup, or South Beach, or Atkins, or shakes, or some crappy packaged food for thousands of dollars.  It is my health and my ability to be a mom to my kids and a wife to my husband dammit.  It shouldn't be that hard.  So in September I made a commitment to start eating better, and I've counted calories and I started out walking daily, and pounds slowly started coming off.

Between the Holidays and work and everything I sort of fell of the food wagon but kept the exercising up. And then I made another commitment to walk and add a little running to my distance.  I'm not sure I would exactly call it a run it was more like a slow trot.  As time has gone by I am able to run for a lot longer, maybe run is still to generous of a word, a moderate jog maybe.    But that also may be because I am an old fart.  I'm middle aged for crying out loud, and I'm in MENOPAUSE!!!!  I think I'm going to start running races.  It's laughable really.    But you know what??  I don't care.  The last 2 years have been all about challenging me.  My son's Autism, my husbands struggles with Alcoholism, my battle with cancer, and a crazy terrorist 2 year old, if I can make it through all that with a shred of sanity I can run a 10K.  Well I'm doing it, I signed up and I'm running the Revlon Run for Women's Cancer on May 7th around the Los Angeles Coliseum.

I'm running almost daily and starting to actually look forward to getting on the treadmill, and today I even ran outside with my dogs.  I feel most days like my body has been taken apart and put back together a little bit askew.  I hope that the soreness subsides eventually, but in a bizarre way it feels good.  It's a head clearer, I don't feel insane (most of the time), none of my pants fit (and I have no money to shop) but thank goodness summer is coming, and since last September I am down 50lbs. 70 total since the cancer surgeries.  So really without "dieting", I have actually gone through the lifestyle change, and am putting my health first.

I had no idea there were so many different avenues to find information on the internet and how many other "bloggers" are out there that have had this weight issue.  I am gaining a lot of knowledge and confidence from the women that have trudged the road in front of me on the internet.  I appreciate all the women that I have gone before me and are there to follow.  You are amazing.


Friday, April 8, 2011

Plowing through

I am constantly surprised by the immeasurable amount of patience that I lack when I watch the teachers and behavior therapists that work with Franklin on his Autism.  Somedays the tantrums and lack of eye contact and non responsiveness are enough to make me lock myself in my bathroom and cry when my 2 kids are getting therapy all afternoon.  But instead of crying I am now running my tail off on our treadmill.    Franklin gets his ABA for 3 hours every afternoon after his 5 hours of school in the morning.  Jackson my 2 years old is getting speech and ABA because we are an at risk family because of a sibling with a diagnosis of Autism.  The get a variety of behavior from my kids good and bad, and most of the days now are good, but a bad day rattles me and (my neighborhood) I'm sure the therapists by the time session is over.

So half the time I feel like I have been a neglectful or stupid mom because all of my friends have kids that eat, talk, walk, move listen, look, hug and just do general toddler stuff.  What did I not do right, or what did I miss as a parent that my kids don't do some of the simple things other kids do????  I don't understand what I am not doing for my kids that they are not getting these simple life tasks.  Plus a lot of criticism from people mostly about why they aren't doing things like other kids, and why I do the things that I do and how I do things should be different and better for the kids.   I put in my ear plugs and have learned to turn off ignorance and stupidity of others or what I would respond would not be very Christian.

So today I went to Franklin's class for and Observation and his teacher told me after our consultation that she wished other parents were like me.   WHHHATTTT??????  I feel like the most miserable failure half of the time.   I said "No", you have got to be joking.  I feel like this huge weight is on my chest most days because I really have no idea what I am doing with Autism and all that comes with it.  But what she told me was that there are a lot of children whose parents refuse in home services in their homes because it's intrusive to their life.   After I picked my chin up off of the floor, I said to her "what do you mean?".  Basically the response was that there are children in school with an Autism diagnosis that qualify for services in home after school that refuse them because it is too much of a time commitment.  I was stunned.

First of all, I didn't think that turning down services that we pay for with our tax dollars was wise or even an option if it is something that is going to help my kid.  This is the hand that God dealt us.  Yes it is a huge life changer and sometimes it is an enormous pain in the ass, but I know from endless hours of research that  the kids with Autism that have some hope for functionality are the ones that get this type of therapy.   I knew and my husband knew it was necessary to make whatever sacrifices necessary to get the help that Franklin needs.  I don't understand doing it differently, my only option was to research what needed to be done, put the things in place, and move forward, even if I feel like I was towing the weight of the world of sadness behind me.  I follow the advice of the therapists, and teachers and put in my suggestions when I think things are detrimental or will be helpful.  That is my job, I am his mom.  My mommy gut knows what I need to do, and I plow through to help.

Our garage is a playroom, gym (where I am becoming quite the runner on our treadmill), occupational therapy station for us,   I have swings hung, and the recommended toys and anything that is something that seems to help him I have done.  I take this "mommy warrior" for my kids seriously.  I don't understand refusing them help that they need to get better.  I am not judging, but this is my way, I can't imagine doing anything differently.

Our kids were God's gift to us, and we have something that the kids need, and they have something that we need.  I don't alway think that God made the right choice in parents for Franklin because I'M LAZY, I don't like this much work, I miss my social life,  I hate being held prisoner in my house for the hours of therapy we get daily,  I miss my friends, I grieve the loss of a "typical" child.   But when Franklin has an amazing Autism day (which are much more frequent now) and now that he gives me hugs, unprompted hugs, and his smile that lights up the world and his laugh that is infectious I know why I do and will continue to do all I need to for him.

I felt a little bit validated by Franklin's teacher because I really don't know that I am "doing this right".  No one knows in the Autism world, what "doing it right" is.  Just because someone says something the loudest and has a big microphone doesn't make them right.  You figure out what works for your kid and you RUN with it to help him.  Sometimes the way people (including my husband) question how I do things and why I do things with Franklin makes me second guess my mommy gut and make me feel less than and unsure that what I am doing is right.  But hearing it from someone that is removed that I am doing a great job and she appreciates what I do to help him took a tiny bit of my "noise" away from my brain, and for that I'm grateful.  I'm gonna have to make her some cupcakes or something, that's a confidence builder you can't buy on your own.


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

How was this allowed to happen?

This is my favorite time of year.  Always has been, the weather is warm but not hot, the jasmine smells great, it's light late, the smell of bbq's in the air, and the Boys of Summer are back.  I love baseball, always have and I look forward to the Angels home opener every year if we get to go to the game or not I always look forward to it.

When I was a little girl my dad and grandfather took me to a Dodger Game and I remember the day and everything about it, I was hooked.  My most vivid memory is the color of the grass, obviously before HD TV it looked so different in person than it did 35 years ago on television.  I loved going to games at Chavez Ravine the stadium was awesome and the crack of the bat and the roar of the crowd was so enticing.  I loved it.  These were the days of the old Dodgers Garvey, Cey, Yeager, Lopes, Lasorda, great times in baseball.  

My dad's job then got season tickets to Anaheim Stadium when I was in high school, the Angels, the American League, Orange County a little different than the Dodgers.  But everyone I knew was a Dodger fan so I decided then I was going to be an Angel fan, even when the SUCKED and couldn't get 12,000 at their games.  It was painful to be an Angel fan for a long time but tried and true I stuck with it and 12 years ago I moved from LA to Orange County and have been a regular attender at games via company tickets or by whatever means would get us there.  I am not saying they are perfect or their fans are perfect, but I have never felt unsafe or that I would be put in harms way by going there.

Three years ago we got some Dodger tickets from a friend for a Dodgers v. Angel game, so my husband and I decided to fight the traffic of the 5 Fwy and head up to LA with our 1 year old for his first game.  I hadn't been to Chavez Ravine in over 10 years, it was still beautiful and wonderful like I remembered, the sounds and the smells and the colors all about baseball and I was in Awe and so excited to share this with our son.  As we walked through the parking lot in our Angel gear the heckling was persistent and borderline abusive.  I'm all for a little jabbing at the expense of the other team for fun.  But if you're hurling "F" bombs at families with children I'm guessing it's not all in good fun for you.  Just jackass behavior of people that were obviously raised by buffoons without the commons sense to teach right from wrong.  During this game I personally observed people in Angel gear getting beer poured on them, food thrown at them along with a lot of name calling, all this going on in front of children.  There were numerous fights in the stands and people getting thrown out.  So by the 6th inning and the beer flowing freely the Doyer (I meant to spell it like that, figure it out) fans and their behavior was more than I wanted to expose my baby to, so we high tailed it back down behind the Orange Curtain.  In no means am I saying that all the fans there were unruly an rude and animal like, not at all.  But what has happened is so sad, that a gang mentality and low life behavior is accepted and tolerated.  I realize that the Raiders left town over a decade ago but I wish they would have taken their scummy  fans with them.

This last weekend at the Dodgers home opener a San Francisco Giants fan was savagely beaten in the parking lot  at Dodger stadium for the mere fact that he was wearing a Giants Jersey.  WTF???!!!!

There has been a statement from the Dodgers "One time incident, blah, blah, blah"  I am sure that there are a lot of beatings in the parking lot just not bad enough to put someone in a medically induced coma.  But what really makes me mad is the absolute LACK OF OUTRAGE.  The Bazillionaire Baseball players should be scolding their "fans" that act like animals.  I realize the Owner of the Dodgers is too busy forging documents and trying to make sure his wife doesn't get the team in their heated divorce.  WAY TO GO McCords, I really appreciate you turning the O'Malleys family friendly stadium into a gangland zoo.  STEP IT UP!!!!    Mayor (I'll do anything to get my mug on TV) Villariagosa why are you not absolutely pitching a bitch at the citizens of LA for allowing the fans to behave in this manner (probably because you need a voter base).  You should be screaming at bad behavior instead of showing your pearly whites in the front row of the game.  Really, show some leadership and grow a pair would ya?!    Sit in the stands with the other Angelenos and observe the behavior that is condoned.  If it is not punished it is condoned in my humble opinion.  If people are unruly in the stands throw their asses out and FINE them huge.  Go after them to collect with the vigilance that your meter maids give out parking tickets.    And to the REAL fans of the Dodgers, what have you let happen, why are you not shouting from the roof tops??????  This is YOUR TEAM that you support.  Take it back from the gangster, loser, handout entitled losers that are ruining a once incredible institution.  Think back to the 80's Dodgers, when baseball and the World Series and the Olympics were going on there, doesn't it make you sad and angry?   Don't you want those experiences for your children?  I want to thank you for ruining a wonderful experience that my kids will never have because frankly unless things change drastically one of the most historic and beautiful ball parks in Our Country is too scary to expose kids too.

There is a class and respect that people should expect when they are out at a public venue, and for the most part I feel that in Anaheim.  I am so sad that a team that I loved and respected has allowed it's history and reputation to be tarnished like this.  I hope that the Dodgers step up and take care of Brian Stow the victim of the beating by 2 LOSERS and the chick with her child in the care that drove them away.    My prayers go out to Mr Stow and his family, and my prayers for strength a courage to the True Blue Dodger fans that you grow some balls and stand up to the animals that you are letting take over your stadium.


Sunday, April 3, 2011

Real Housewives vs. Real Moms - Episode 5

Bravo should consider changing the name of this series the the Contradictory Housewives of Orange County.  They are obviously using the term Reality Television loosely, because the real Real People of Orange County can't even on their worst day act like this.

I thought it was very nice of Alexis to throw a party for the ladies but once again have one of the ladies just be as white trash and classless as she could and bring out some mace at the end of the party.  WHO DOES THAT???  I don't get the opportunity to go to  a lot of parties because I actually care for my own kids and don't have a staff to do it for me.  But ladies for goodness sakes you are going to your friend/co-workers Botox party and you're bringing mace with you?  You are not going to a gangsta record label party.   Yet another testimonial to the fact that no matter how much money you pretend to have, it won't give you one ounce of class.

Tamra, save that money you're making from the Housewives because once again your exemplary behavior and ridiculous statements are that which will do nothing but make your children sooooo proud.  NOT!!!  Honestly, have all the shots of Patron you've done completely dissolved any brain cells you have or just the ones that give a person class???  And if your boyfriend is a whiner because you have your wedding dress in storage he might be too much of a sissy la la to be in anything for the long haul.  He might just be looking to get his mug on TV.

Vicki,  EVERYONE works,  no one should be considered LUCKY because you came somewhere during work hours which the party was after 6pm.  Everyone gets you're a crazy business woman but for the love of Pete and all that is holy, stop telling us that "I'm Working, I work" WE GET IT.  If that is all you have to make yourself feel good, you might want to see someone for that.
We ALL work hard, especially moms that are stay at home, moms with a special needs kid, mom with no help, working moms with no nannies or full time house keepers.  We all work hard.  You are not unique or different or special.  As much as you need everyone to tell you how great you are all the time.  You are just another working woman in OC that happens to make a little more cash than most but we all work as hard as you, so QUIT YAPPING ABOUT IT.     You have built an amazing life and just want people to tell you how great you are stop being so needy for crying out loud 6 years later it's boring to hear about.   Do something for a charity, switch it up a little, ask someone else how they are doing.  Even though you are the Original Housewife everything (thank goodness) is NOT about you.  There is a whole world that the rest of us live in.

Peggy,  Holistic and Plastic Surgery and Botox, and your house is in foreclosure.  OKAY,  does anyone else think that there is something irresponsible and wrong with that?  You can't seriously be saying you are getting your boobs done to look perfect yet you aren't paying your mortgage.  I don't get the reality in that.  My husband and children prefer a roof over their head than Botox to paralyze the laugh lines from the joy my family brings me.  Your modeling pictures were beautiful and maybe you should stop injecting stuff into your face because there is a "less is more" philosophy for facial fillers that obviously isn't practiced in Orange County, but y'all should learn it.  Too much of anything is not a good thing.

Fernanda, congratulations on your citizenship.  I don't see anything good happening with you and Tamra together she's not so nice.

I'm sorry that the "Housewives" are representing us in Orange County so poorly.  I am friends with so many wonderful women that work their tails off for their kids and do without a lot of stuff to take care of their families with no nannies.    Alexis not everyone in Orange County is forced to have Big Boobs, Blonde hair, and Botox to live here.  Some of us actually think that taking care of our kids, paying our mortgages, and doing our best to be good people is the most important.  Your husband wants  you to be hot and perfect with all your beauty treatments, but I wonder if he ran out of money and you were forced to live in an apartment with no nanny on any day, and no shopping and no ME time if you would actually stay with him?

I do without some stuff that I used to have when I could work and stay home and help with therapy for my special needs kid and a lot of our money goes to that and we do forego extra things for ourselves in order to give things to our kids.   After 6 years of watching your franchise I'm just not sure that I see any of you women giving up anything for yourselves and your putting your kids first.  That is a huge difference between a REAL MOM and a Real Housewife.


Run Mommy Run

I still have yet to figure out why I decided to embark on a fitness program that includes running.  I used to HATE to run, I am still not sure that I will love it, but in the last month it has begun to grow on me.

I am sure it has a lot to do with the fact that since my double mastectomy I have smaller more manageable tata's that don't make running a painful experience (at least in that part of my body). 

I have tried a thousand different ways to get and stay fit in my life, after a life long struggle with my weight I feel like I have changed my lifestyle enough that I am getting a handle on that.  I have been to every gym, every type of exercise class, and team sport that there is.  So in the last couple months as I decided I needed to get it together and really pick something that was going to be easy to do, on my own time, and if I have to include the kids and the dogs.

So I found a website and that had a Couch to 5K race plan.  So I started the plan, sometimes on my treadmill sometimes around the neighborhood with the kids in the stroller.  So I'm doing it, following the plan and believe it or not I am starting to enjoy the running part.   It's not as painful as it was when I started several weeks ago, and I'm running a little farther and for a little bit longer everyday.  So I committed to running a race May 7th, and then doing a half marathon in September.  HIGH HOPES, but those are the plans.  I'm thrilled with how this has kicked my weight loss and into a higher gear.

But as I ran tonight on my treadmill with my 2 year old throwing blocks at me and my 4 year bringing me his socks to put on him every 5 minutes I was think why was it that I picked running for a fitness plan. 

Well first and foremost it's free, it doesn't cost me anything except my electric bill if I choose to run on the treadmill.  In this economy gyms had to go so my health and fitness was up to me.

This is something I can and do by myself, I don't have to have a partner.  I'm not comparing myself to the skinny bitch with the pink bedazzled running outfit on the treamill next to me at the gym.  But more than that it really is helping me quiet all the noise from all the other areas in my life that are not perfect or even good right now.

It is really helping me with the Autism Diagnosis my 4 year old has.  I feel like it is allowing me to grieve the loss of the dream of a typical child that I had.   I love my son more than everything but there was still a dream of a typical child that is lost, and the sadness for Franklin with all the struggles he will endure in his life because of Autism.  Running is giving me strength to be the mommy and advocate that he needs to navigate his life.

It is giving me peace for an hour a day with no worrying about what bills are or are not paid and how much money we have and will we be able to make it this month.  This stupid economy has taken its toll on me, my husband, a lot of our friends, and it gives me a reprieve from the stress of financial insecurity.

My marriage is in struggle mode right now, and running is a reprieve from the stress and resentment and lack of forgiveness that both of us have.  Marriage is full of Peaks and Valleys and we are in a Valley, hopefully it won't be much longer but the running takes a lot of the sadness and hurt away.

There is an episode of Elmo's World that my kids like a lot and its about "Fast and Slow" and the Tortoise and the Hare.  The moral of the story is "Slow and steady wins the race".  That is how my running is going slow and steady.  I doubt I will ever finish any race that I am in First Place.  However, I feel like my slow and steady pace is going to help me win this race of life.  I am grateful that I didn't let the pain of actual running stop me and that I got through it and I'm starting to feel the benefits in so many areas.