I was sitting here going through our papers getting our tax stuff together to prepare our taxes, and I found my note pad, that on this particular day 2 years ago, I brought home from work.
2 years ago I was at work and got the call, the call that stopped the rotation of the earth and shattered me. My cell phone rang at work and I didn't recognize the number and I thought it might be my sons school calling. I picked it up, and it was Dr. R on the phone, and the whole conversation didn't last long and I don't remember much of it but it all sounding like Peanuts characters listening to the teacher speak and then I heard the words "Stage 1 carcinoma". What?! "What did you just say?", Dr. R said "After your biopsy we have found that you have a stage 1 carcinoma in your right breast." Stunned, and feeling like I had just been smacked in the stomach with a bat by Derek Jeter I had to ask "Did you just tell me I have cancer?". .......... Yes he did in fact tell me I had cancer, and that I had to find a surgeon and let them know where to send the test results.
Holy crap for real???? I went for the damn mammogram to meet our insurance deductible so my son could get some much needed services for his autism, the mammogram was not supposed to come up with CANCER for crying out loud. Did the man upstairs not know that I had a baby that just turned one year old, and my 3 year old had just been diagnosed with Autism. Cancer, I had no time for cancer, it had no place in my home, and I was so paralyzed with fear for a few days I could barely see straight.
So as I did with our autism diagnosis I scoured the Internet for every treatment available, but this time I was searching for a miracle to keep me around for these kiddos.
I researched the different ways to beat this cancer, I say beat not treat, because I needed to beat this. Autism needed to be fought, cancer I had no time for - I just had to kick it's ass immediately and get back to focusing on the little one that had a window of opportunity to treat his autism the most effectively.
I elected to have a double mastectomy and my ovaries out. It was drastic, swift, serious, harsh, brutal, and 100% necessary to get me back in commission to be a mom as fast as possible. You see I have a family that has been riddled with cancer, and I have seen what it does to people, I have seen the treatment brutalize people, and I truly was scared to the bottom of my soul. My one year old was just a baby, I HAD TO BE BETTER. Losing this battle was not an option for my boys.
I found a medical team that agreed with what I wanted, and swiftly and quickly we did the surgery and I was on the way to recovery, to be a mom, a wife, a friend, daughter, sister, and a general pain in the ass to anyone that wanted to argue with me and how I did things.
I am happy to report I have been cancer free for nearly 2 years, I have taken an aggressive approach at taking care of myself. I work with my children and their treatment and the things necessary to make them better.
This call that I took 2 years ago made cancer a family battle, everyone participated, and everyone was changed for good and for bad. I am a lucky cancer survivor. I thank God every day for the 2nd chance he gave me to be the mom, wife, daughter, sister, family member and friend that I could be.
|The day before the call came in|
I hate cancer and what it has done to my family, friends, and loved ones. I don't want it to come back so I humbled by the disease, and know it is my responsibility to do what I can and care for my body so I can care for my kids. So as you read this and remember you skipped your mammogram last year, or cancelled your last appointment, please make it and get it done. Everyone needs you!