Friday, February 24, 2012

Real Train Wreck Awards

Okay, it is clear that since these crack pots have no class or manners when it comes to attending parties, dinners, or others homes, I propose Bravo do an episode where the women are forced to go to etiquette class together where some "Helga" whips their asses into shape.

It really would be hilarious.  Because these women all think they have it going on, and honestly there is nothing more to them than junior high school level of social skills.

In honor of the Oscar's this week, I am awarding each of the Train Wrecks an award.

Vicki - She wins "The World's most insecure/neediest/clingiest Person award - VICKI - Woman come on everyone loves you.  Do you really want everyone in your life to wear it on a neon sign on their forehead so you can admire it all the time? 

Tamra - She wins the "I NEED ATTENTION" award.  Let's see, the undo amount of drama, the ridiculous amounts of alcohol, and show boating, making porn, trying to have men touch your boobs, body shots.  You win Tamra you get the attention, God knows why people pay you any attention,  but you win.

Gretchen - Get's the "I like outfits with cameltoe" award.  The shorts you walked the dog with, I mean honestly, shop in the ladies section not the children's.  You are hot and have a banging body, but good Lord does all of Costa Mesa need to see the Vajajay walking the dogs down the street?

Alexis - She wins the "Silence would be golden" award.  Maybe join Toastmasters or something, because your little side interviews you do just seem to make you look like brain cells are falling out of your mouth with every spoken word.  Less is More.  I know you wouldn't ever consider that rule of thumb where your make up is concerned, but if you leave a little mystique about what you think, you will seem much more....  (look up a good word Alexis).

Heather - She wins the "I think my poop don't stink award".  I really like this chick, and that she doesn't want to have this classless, catty, group of metal patients to her house made me laugh out loud. A little bit pretentious, but it is OC, who isn't pretentious?  She carries it to a new level.  Her husband ROCKS I love that he just says it as it is, and she has a stick shoved so far up her ass she doesn't think he's funny.  I loved that he thought and called Vicki's dinner party low rent - HILARIOUS.  Lady you better laugh at this man who provides you with you wonderful life, because the "C" list of movies you've "acted" in will not keep you on "Billionaire's Row".  He's an awesome dude, have you seen some of the other whacko husbands on this franchise.  Worship the ground that man walks on for the love of Pete, don't be a douche bag!

Can't wait to see Slade on the comedic stage next week, and pick apart that looney.


  1. Rebecca ~ Love your style! Love IT!!!

  2. Vickis' new boyfriend Brooks is a BUM! A freeloader. I mean what does he do for a living besides drive Vickie's car & get new teeth on her. Also who is he to tell her & Tamara how much he loves their sons. He's a bum simple as that.

  3. Victoria! I thought you were way smarter than hooking up with this Brooks bum. You disappoint me & I'm sure many others. I mean who is he? He doesn't have a car, or maybe he does but he just doesn't want you to see it because it's a heap. He had you buy him teeth, clothes, & you probably sleep w/him. If I were you, you might want to visit the free clinic SOON girlfriend, if you know what I mean .