Back to School ---- With Hope

I am usually the mom doing the happy dance when kids go back to school.  As an Autism mom, summer is sometimes really really really long.  After many years of work, finding my kids "thing", and doing our best to set the kids up for success, I was a little sad to see this summer come to an end.

Being a special needs parent and starting a new school year is incredibly stressful, the uncertainty, the new teacher, new room, new kids, new schedule.   The district I live in is incredibly negligent and irresponsible where Special Education population is concerned, the anxiety goes on all year.  You never know what is going to happen at school, and frankly the schools are no longer about education.  I haven't figured out what the hell they're doing but they are not interested in educating special needs kids, they are more like a mediocre babysitter.  So we prep, prime the kid, and hope and pray for the best.  The jury is still out on the teacher and his aide, I'll give them time to get their feet wet with the kids, if I don't see progress by back to school night, then my charming but firm side will come out.

I make a very valiant effort to start the school with giving the administration, principal, and special education departments the benefit of the doubt, and try to swallow that they "have our kids best interests at heart".  I'm going to really try this year, I'm going to try to not yell, scream, and freak out when my kid is being marginalized, forgotten, and excluded from things because their classroom is at the back of the school, not encouraging inclusion.  When they leave a kid on a playground that can't talk, I won't let them have it.   When a kid gets out of school that can't talk, I won't call them incompetent.  When a kid goes home with a bruise, scrape, or bite mark and we are told we are not entitled to an incident, or "he fell".  None of this is over dramatic imagination, this stuff happens to special education children, especially non verbal ones, EVERY SINGLE DAY all over the country.

But this year I'm not screaming at people after the fact.  But I'm going to try and plead to their common sense and decency, because the reactionary mom is just as bad as a reactionary school I am usually the mom doing the happy dance when kids go back to school.  As an Autism mom, summer is sometimes really really really long.  After many years of work, finding my kids "thing", and doing our best to set the kids up for success, I was a little sad to see this summer come to an end.

But this year I'm not screaming at people after the fact.  But I'm going to try and plead to Administrators of school districts everywhere.

Please to Special Education Teachers,  and Staff.  

These are our children.  We love them, we worship them, they are tiny humans just like the neurotypical kids.  Please protect them, follow their IEP, work with the parents to make the kid as successful as you can.  Please assume competence and capability.  This is how you do it right.  

How you don't do it right, is lie to parents, deny or withhold services or knowledge of services to a kid that clearly needs them.  Treating our kids like they don't matter and that any hurt that happens isn't an enormous deal.  And Never Never Never tell a parent their child is unteachable.

We know who is doing it right, and we love who is doing it right.  And so do our kids, and we know who isn't doing it right.

Let's do it right together, forget what the Administrators want you to do, they're really just overpaid buffoons, that couldn't walk 5 feet in a teachers shoes.  Kick their rules and their control to the curb, our kids matter too.  You can do it, the parents will stand with you if we know you have our kids backs.  We can do this, we really can - I hope.

My Kid Did the Unthinkable....

Yesterday after a few errands and taking my 9 year old for a haircut, we stopped off to pick up a few things at the market.  Now he has autism,  I don't label kids as low functioning or high functioning, because there is no such term - it's something parents have made up to make themselves feel better and school districts use to enable their lack of services they will give your kids (but I digress). 

I manage with and adapt his "quirky" behavior as best as I can, and work on constantly, the kid rarely has a break from some kind of activity or therapy.  I expect certain things, statements, stims, behaviors and perseverance depending on our activity or location, and have the tools after years of observations and training on how to limit or redirect.  So I'm pretty much on guard and ready to ninja warrior autism at any second when we are out in public.

We did our shopping, our routine, or obsessions on certain items in the store, redirecting, moving forward and then as we are checking out, he asks the checker for some stickers "May I please have some stickers, please?"  - So I am cockily beaming at his politeness and manners.......then the little asshole (yes sometimes my kids are assholes, and it's okay) SPITS on the checker.  Yes, you read that right, he spat on her.   There was no rhyme, reason, or anything that a 25 year old behavior therapist could smugly lecture me on that would prepare me for this mortification.  I mean I'm an autism mom, I live with a pretty fair level of mortified everyday depending on how awful the "perfect OC mom" stares are on any given day.  But this level of mortification left me stunned, and amazed at my parenting skills that I didn't backhand him right in the store or in my car.  I just drove home crying.  That was all I could do.  I mean, I wasn't prepared for that, there is no parenting book or blog that tells you how to "embrace the spitting on store employees"...  there isn't.  I'm not the mom that just accepts "well it is autism, he isn't responsible for what he does".  Nope, my kid knows right from wrong, he does - I constantly drill him on what is the good choice vs. the bad choice. 

This is not the first time he has done this.  About 3 years ago, he used his birthday money to buy an extremely over priced Star Wars set.  As we checked out at Target, he spit on the cashier.  We apologized, and in my humiliated state I walked right over to the returns desk, and made him return the toy and give the money to me.  You would think that would have taught him, because he cried about the Star Wars crap and his money for about a month.

So today my walk of shame will be back to the store with my son to give her the note of apology from my child, and hopefully the manager will allow me the 2 minutes to take this learning experience for my son and for me as a parent.

Because autism isn't an excuse, if I want inclusion everywhere in school but don't expect appropriate behavior and use inappropriate behavior as teaching opportunities I'm not doing my job as a mom.

I will rally through this day of him crying that he doesn't have an Ipad or his "Cars", but he will learn, it may happen again in 3 years, but he will remember this consequence.  I don't have a trick but my work today will be to get him to understand WHAT he did, that it was WRONG, MEAN, and UNACCEPTABLE.   I'm doing my best at being real, there is not plastic surgery, medication, or ignorance that will hide autism, I just have to take it on a day at a time.  We are Autism Tough, and while Autism may have won this round, I intend on winning the fight.

The New Year - Same Me - but 50.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Lots of lessons learned in 2017, lots of tears shed, tons of laughter, many memories made.  Just like every single year of my last 50.

So this year this mom turns 50.  It's going to be at times AMAZEBALLS, it's going to be at times sad, it's going to be at times fun, it's going to be at times filled with questions, it's going to be at times filled with badassery, it's going to be at times filled with amazement.  I always want it to be filled with love, laughs and experiences that are unforgettable.

There are so many things about my life, family and mind that make me so different from the typical mommy blogger, and I finally understand that all of that is okay.  You can go read the same 15 blogs that say all the same stuff from all the same places.  All of those blogs are great, and are great advertisements for the local area.  I am able to do a lot of their recommendations, but they aren't really autism friendly places for the most part, so I have to consider what my kids can and can't do and what places truly welcome them, and all of that is okay.

I will have a post at least 2 times a month of autism friendly places that are safe and welcoming to our kiddos.

I will have a posts this year for what us caretaker moms need to CARE FOR OURSELVES.   We matter too.  It is important to care for the caretaker.  That's been a big lesson I've learned the last two years.  Of course my husband and kids are the most important and I give them almost all I have all the time, but there are times, days, minutes I need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and answer the screams of my body and mind.  Because there is no one that will care for the caretakers.  I had a surgery last week and seriously it was a shit show.  While most moms can at least get their children to bring them an apple out of the bowl or a bottle of water - with autism - that is a hit or miss.  I had no one here during the day.  There were 2 days of incredible pain, but it ended up being okay.  My house just looked like I lost a serious game of Jumanji.

I will have posts of keeping my body fit and healthy.  This will be my 8th year cancer free, and I'm ready to kick things up a notch.  Don't go crazy, I'm not going to go vegan or anything but I'm going to go less toxins, less processed, less junk, more whole, more outside, more care, more steps, and more healthy.  If I can't care for this body, I won't be able to care for the kids later.  I have really taken a loving to essential oils, I will share me experience strength and hope for what benefits they are bringing my boys and family.

We were fortunate enough to take some amazing trips on our Harley's this year, and I want to share that for moms.  It empowered me, it focused me, it helped my mind and my soul heal some deep wounds.  I read a sign somewhere "4 Wheels move the body, 2 wheels move the soul".  And I swear nothing couldn't be more true.  I think it was the only thing that kept me from punching people in the head this last year.

So while it will be a new different blog this year, it will be an experience, and I hope you're on board for the ride we're gonna take with it.


REBECCA

Are your kids Common? Why be okay with Common Core?

I'm still pretty new to the school system, and frankly when my kids were diagnosed with autism, that is such a deep ocean to wade through that Common Core meant nothing to me, when I was just trying to get my kids into proper placement with their developmental disabilities.  But now that academics are coming into play and I'm learning more and the piss poor roll out of Common Core, I'm pretty disgusted with the rhetoric and lies that are being fed to us.  Our school tried to feed us pizza with the lecture and a video about how great common core is, while they answered no questions and actually had no facts backing up their claims that Common Core is great.

But as I sit here now with a 2nd grader and Kindergartner who have extraordinary minds in their own ways, I'm puzzled as to why those in the state and school system are insisting that STANDARDIZED testing is effective and needed.......wait, what????  We have always had testing, but now the NEW common core testing is computerized, and different, and supposedly better.  What they are missing and the questions they refuse to answer when you go to "Family  Night" Common Core meetings are that there is no RESEARCH to back up their claims that this is better.  What is happening is that for the next 10 years or so to gather data - DATA ON YOUR CHILDREN AND FAMILY - on their testing and learning, your kids are going to be guinea pigs on this research, and the BILLIONS OF DOLLARS spent on implementing this less than stellar set of standards is going to effectively leave us with a generation of kids that were in a lot of states taught with LOWER standards than what Common Core is bringing to the table.  As you hear phrases "drilling deeper", "collaborative", and "no more bubble fill in", know that all of that is rhetoric that is scripted to keep you from knowing that at least in California the new Common Core State Standards are MUCH lower than that of what we used to have.

Now I did not have children in school with the prior standards, however, I have 10 nieces and nephews that with what we are trying to be sold as inferior set of standards ALL are in UNIVERSITIES.  We even have a lawyer out of the bunch that passed the state bar on his first try.  We have one in medical school, one at Johns Hopkins studying BioChemistry, one at TCU about to graduate with a Communications degree,  another niece just passed her state exam and is a nurse, and a nephew in his 2nd year at USC,  one just graduated from Purdue, and 2 that are still in high school and one of those just got into San Diego State University.  All in all we have no academic slouches out of the 10 kids I'm talking about. Why is that??  Well I'm going to go out on a limb and say its because their parents gave a shit about what they were learning and doing and were involved in everything about their education and took that responsibility of parenting SERIOUSLY!  So I push back and say.............show me the kids that are inferior - 9 out of 10 in college.  That's no joke.  Where is their data? 

Common Core is no one's fault, but it's all of our faults.  It was written in 2009 secretly with no parent or teacher input.  It was passed during the great recession of 2008, when the state coffers were empty.  The Federal government (which if you read the Constitution, the fore fathers thought that education should belong to the state and local governments) basically offered the states money if they implemented this set of "lower" standards.    It was passed in 2009, and implementation was to start in 2013-2014, and the full roll out in 2014-2015.  Last year there was practice testing, which parents did not get to see before or after, and there supposedly were not any results (I CALL BULLSHIT ON THAT).

Now it's full implementation, but I find it hilarious, and that there are not full set of curriculum or text books, and language arts.  There is going to be a set of testing this year again, which is said that parents will get to see results 6-8 weeks after the tests are complete.  Parents will NOT get to see what the contents of the test are, and that bothers me, and it should bother you.  How as a family as a parent are you to help prepare you child for testing, which is difficult.

So this set of standards that the states took on and basically sold your kids life out for 30 pieces of silver.  They states wouldn't get federal money unless they agreed to this set of "standards".

I have attended several "common core" meetings at the Department of Education and for the last 2 years at our school, and our school district has some ridiculous video up on their website "Door To The Core", which half the time doesn't work and when it's up, it basically is full of propaganda and rhetoric and no facts.

So here as a parent, I'm asking you parents.  WHY ARE YOU NOT SCREAMING FROM THE ROOF TOPS?  Don't use my kids as a guinea pig.

Why are we not demanding the RESEARCH used in writing these standard and showing how they are proven to be effective?  I mean really, if the "educators" argument is that "No Child Left Behind" was a failure, and my family has 9 out of 10 kids in UNIVERSITIES, that is DATA that shows it's not a failure in my eyes.  Stay with me here, if there are "educators" stating what a failure that was and that no one was learning because those weren't proven set of standards ---- then WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD are we accepting that there is NO RESEARCH OR PROOF THAT THIS NEW SET OF STANDARDS IS EFFECTIVE?????

Now my kids have autism, and one of my children is exception in the academic department, in fact his mind is extraordinary.  But this Common Core BULLSHIT of explaining his 12 step way of getting to a simple answer, will make him fail.  His EXTRAORDINARY mind does not work that way, it in no way makes him a dummy - or as Arne Duncan, the education Czar says about us as parents and common core "Common Core has shown the white suburban soccer mom that their children aren't as brilliant as they thought".  My blood pressure spiked and I wanted to punch his pompous rhetoric spewing ass right in the mouth.  He is making statements with a broad stroke of a HUGE brush, yet his standards that he is touting around to control the minds of our kids are not proven to work......so Mr. Duncan, I think the Common Core Standards are now showing that YOU sir are not as BRILLIANT AS YOU THINK.

I'm very concerned as a parent and hurt that the government over reach is making a big assumptions about us as parents, that they know better, that they insult our intelligence.  There are a couple ways to stop this HUGE GOVERNMENT MACHINE, and that is to OPT OUT OF THE TESTING.  A company named Pearson is making Hundreds of Millions of dollars administering the tests of our kids, mining data, and selling technology to the schools.  Each time a student is tested the school district pays Pearson roughly $31 dollars per student, and last year 47% of 10th graders failed the test and were rested as much as 4 times.  So about 1 million dollars for testing ON ONE GRADE LEVEL IN ONE DISTRICT.  Isn't that staggering?  Wouldn't that money be better spent, lowering class sizes?  Paying teachers more?  Having decently constructed schools?  Having special educations students with appropriate resources to meet their needs?

So as I do more research and listen to the educators "tell" me, what is great about Common Core, yet they have NOT and will not and has skated every question I've thrown at them.  There is no research that these standards work, there is no mention that these standards in California are lower than what we used to have in our system.  The fact that the roll out and implementation has been such a cluster fuck of incompetence has to wake up the masses and concern them.

If you haven't done your research or need help wading through this pool of cess that is now in front of you, I will be happy to help you.

But if you have any intention of stopping this machine, you need to follow the money, and the money is in the standardized testing, that is so clouded and hidden from parents - but there is millions and millions of dollars being made in this testing.  You have to opt out, you can't opt out of the standards, but the testing can be opted out of and you won't be contributing to the machine and feeding it money.

Rebecca

Something different

A new school year to me always brings a maternal level of anxiety, and this year especially so.  My "baby" started Kindergarten, and it's a big deal.  He's growing up, he's making his way and I'm not sure I was or am ready to make that break.  I miss him during the day, but am immensely enjoying him when he comes home from school, with a new phrase or quirk that he has learned at school.  So I'm excited and apprehensive.

This year my kids are at different schools, so I have an added thing.  I have 2 groups of moms to get to know, 2 schools to volunteer at, 2 PTA's, and 2 teachers, and 2 principals.  All of that is enough to give me a case of the runs alone.

My stress exists on many levels.  The first day of school there are the "over achieving" moms that have gifts, and donuts, and chalk board photos of their perfectly coiffed children, in their amazing Nordstrom outfit.  I just have never been able to get all the stuff done that most moms do get done.  I accept it and know it is what it is.  I have come to accept that what my weaknesses are and what my strengths are, and that perfectly gift wrapped, and snack mom, well it just ain't me. I'm not a size 2, but I'm fit actually fitter than most 46 year old cancer survivors, I'm not the most popular blog in OC, but a lot of people like my blog, and tell me that.  My kids aren't the kids that other kids are dying to come to our house and play, but they are friggin' amazing every single day and can work circles around most of the over indulged Orange County children, they have their issues, and I couldn't be more thrilled to be their mommy.

And while I love to peruse on Pinterest.  I have a feeling that it is an evil plot by men to get women and moms to workout, cook and decorate immaculately.  And I ALWAYS feel like I am falling short.  I don't always have the perfect meal cooked, I slack on my workouts and take a couple of weeks off, and the only thing I can DIY well is drive a car.  Very little creative juices flow in my brain, and the stuff I copy off of Pinterest is just pitiful.

This year I am going to try and take a different tack, and instead of the constant feeling of inadequacies that I have to deal with everyday.  I'm going to try to just know what my limitations are, know I am good at some things, and if it's not wrapping 24 presents on time for Groundhog Day, sometimes I just am able to throw some cupcakes in a box, deliver them for no reason and they are met with the same smile as the Pinterest holiday porn tha is t peddled so viciously to moms.

I am practicing at getting better and doing things one day at a time.  I do not and will not have all of my Christmas shopping started, done and wrapped in the month of October or November.  But I will think small and finish the accomplishments.

Autism and life to me get overwhelming, and what I am going to do this year, is just get back to basics, and not making myself insane trying to keep up with the moms that are CLEARLY popping their kids ADD medication (just kidding).    I have finally come to the level of acceptance that is going to bring me some peace of mind.  I'm not a size 2, but I'm fit. I'm not the most popular blogger in California, but I love getting emails from the people that love what I write.  My kids are not the most popular kids in OC, but they are the most amazing kids I've met.  I'm grateful right now, and I haven't felt that in a long time.  My life is a blessing, and I need to realize that I am all I am and all I can do is be as awesome as I can everyday.  I'm attempting to be awesome, as awesome as I can and as awesome as I think awesome is.  If you think it's awesome it's a bonus, but the most important is that the people I share a house with get the most awesome me I can bring to the party.

I am going to make an effort to make sure I get my exercise, at least 20 minutes a day, cook 4 meals a week, and shuttle my kids to and from the 14 different activities and therapies they have a week.  I am going to focus on my kids smiles more than on keeping up with people that don't care if I am competing with them.

So to the 2014/2015 school year, we are going to attempt a BE AWESOME year, and hope you do too.

Rebecca

My apology to my son

Dear Franklin,

I am so sorry and have been full of doubt and guilt for – well doubt of my mothering abilities probably since your birth and guilt since the second some professional told me you had autism.  I let some people that work with you convince me that you were not worthy of the help you need, I let their words cloud my judgment where you were concerned, and I let precious time be wasted. 

You see, there is no instruction manual for typical children, and there is absolutely no manual to maneuver your way through the labyrinth of life after you are labeled  “special needs”.   There are so called “professionals” that really have a passion for children like you and want to help, but are corn hold because of a horrible defective system.  There are so called professionals that are out for a money grab, and don’t really care if they help you or not, they just want to get their check.  There are professionals that pull at the heartstrings of families that so desperately want help, with no guarantees, and very large expenses.  I’ve pretty much lost faith in the professionals – it has been the mommies, and the daddies, that have lifted us up, and helped us and guided the families in how to survive the jungle of special education.  And for those families we will never be able to express our true gratitude, except to pay it forward to the newly diagnosed families.

Mommy took the professionals at their word that they had your best interests at heart.  I believed them when they said you were getting an appropriate amount of services for your level of cognition.  (WHICH WAS A LIE)

 I believed them, when they said this might be as good as you get. (WHICH IS NOT TRUE)

 I believed them when they said, you may want to consider just making him comfortable this might be all there is for him. (WHICH IS UNACCEPTABLE)

 I believed them, when they said you were not teachable because your behavior was too challenging.  (YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM, THE PROFESSIONALS ARE THE PROBLEM)

 I believed them when they tried to make me doubt you and what is inside, and lost sight of what an amazing little boy you are.

So my pledge to you baby boy, is to NEVER EVER take a professionals word with a bit of sincerity.  I will always find a way to help you.  I will never take no for an answer. I will never let anyone lessen your worth because you are different, I will never let someone work with you that does not believe in you and your abilities.  I will not let anyone work with you that do not think they are capable of offering solution to your life.  I will make sure that I always listen to my mommy gut, and will not let a bunch of initials behind someone’s name determine that they know you better than me, after a 20 minute assessment. I will take this ProLoQuo 2 Go, and let it give you the voice you so desperately deserve.  I want nothing more in my life to hear your thoughts and wants, and likes and dislikes.  I can't wait for wait is about to come.  In 2 days since another mommy told me how to help you, you have amazed me (and I think yourself) with what you can do.

You are the most amazing thing I have done with my life, and I’m so sorry I let my loyalty to you, and what I thought was best for you weaken, because of the minutia that I was being fed by some stupid ignorant people with degrees.  I will never stop believing in you. I will go to the ends of the earth to search out help for you and I will always make sure that YOUR best interest is in my heart, not the convenience of a few.

I love you baby, and I will never stop standing strong for you.

Mommy

My "Bridesmaid" moment

2013 is well underway, I've signed up for a race every month this year, and 3 YES 3 half marathons.  So my ass needed to get in gear, and get some junk out of the trunk and get my wind back.  So for the last couple weeks during Christmas break I started running, well trotting, and jogging basically getting back on track.

My kids and husband were sick most of the vacation, so I just would get out on the road when I could evenings or early morning getting out on the trails with me and my dogs.

Yesterday I think I had washed the last sheet and towel from the stomach virus that all the boys of the house were plagued with.  I took a little antacid because my tummy was feeling a little sour all day but I couldn't miss my run, I was getting my groove back on and really had cabin fever so nothing was keeping me from blazing the trails that night.

So I'm into my first mile, the dogs tails are wagging, I've got awesome mix of music on and after mile one my tummy started to give me a little bit of guff.  But I was getting close to 11 minute mile, which is GREAT for me.  By mile 2 I have a grumbling, rumbling and cramping in my stomach going on, and then the gas comes. 

So I am at this "crossroads" literally.  Do I stop and walk (which I did), clenching my butt cheeks together with all I've got, because I'm now 2 miles from home IN THE DARK.  I can't go into the bushes and squat because of the real threat of a coyote, bobcat or raccoon coming out at me.  So I call my husband, who doesn't answer his phone, to get him to pick me up.  So on I forge down the streets of Orange County to get myself home. 

Clenching and wincing and trotting home, I'm trying to make it without the wedding dress in the street scene from "Bridesmaid" becoming a reality in my world. 

So I am only about a half mile from home, and literally my stride is exactly like Lillian's in the scene where she is trying to get away from the bridal store.  Oh to the vey, I couldn't hold it any longer, and started laughing because the only thing in my head was the scene from Bridesmaid where the Megan character is screaming "It's coming out of me like lava". 

The explosive diarrhea that my kids had had for several days was now passed onto mommy while she was trying to run to be healthy and care for the little dudes.  So yes 3 blocks from my house the poop came, I couldn't keep it in.  I did POOP my pants, and as I was in shock and laughing all alone like a mental patient on the street in the dark and the cold,  I couldn't stop laughing.  At least no one was with me.  At least I was wearing an old pair of running pants and not my brand new Under Armour, and thankfully I chose to wear BLACK!!!

On the side of my house I did the surfer strip down got my clothes off, hosed myself off and my clothes, threw the old pants away and headed into the house half naked and carrying a jug of Clorox and my husband saying "What the hell are you doing?"  Me: "Don't worry about it".  I locked myself in the bathroom and finished the clean up!

The lesson learned.  Run on the treadmill at home when you have a tummy ache!  These are the things that running is teaching me.  While I was humiliated and embarrassed and still can't believe that as a 44 year old mother I crapped my pants in public, but I did get those 3 miles added to my pile.  Yes, I am a mother runner.  I survived cancer, a little poop, while embarrassing and much more funny than cancer, I'll get over that too :)

 

Rebecca

Autism How I hate you, Let me count the ways

I hate that you stole my child's voice.
I hate that you make me doubt myself as a mother
I hate that you put a shell that's so,hard to crack around my kid.
I hate that some days you hijack my child and relentlessly torture him
I hate when you turn whining into a meltdown because you won't let him communicate with us effectively.
I hate that you make it nearly impossible for my son to be aware for his own safety.
I hate that you want to put him in harms way.
I hate that you don't like, him to sleep and ruin every one's night
I hate that you have made him so picky and rigid that he could ruin his health
I hate that you're taking a horrible toll on our family and marriage.
I hate that you have taken the gift of friendship away from him.
I hate that you make other kids not want to include him.
I hate that you have robbed our family of some amazing experiences.
I hate that you have made the most inappropriate things comforting to him.
You are basically a terrorist to my child and I am now NAVY SEAL TEAM 6.  Look out!

You are the enemy, you made my cry today, you hurt my kid,and made me feel like a shit mom. So he's, you may have won this little battle, but I am regrouping, re-strategizing and am bringing a new fight to you. 

I will get stronger, I will go to any lengths to protect and help this kid, I will find what works for our family.  I will use the warriors that have fought this battle before me, and we will rise up and beat you.  My kids have autism,  but autism WILL NOT have them.

Rebecca