Friday, May 6, 2011

I'm tired of the Quiet

Earlier in the week I babysat  2 little boys "A" 6 years old and "C" 3 years old, along with my 4 and 2 year old.  So there was a toy frenzy going on at first, and then my sons had to go into therapy.
As we all sat at the island in the kitchen having various after school little boy snacks, bananas, graham crackers, cheese, and some gold fish.  I really never noticed how quiet my kids were, I sat with "A" and we had a delightful conversation. His little brother would crack in occasionally with some tid bid of information or asking for more snack.  We discussed all of the topics that I am sure most little boys throw out in their daily chatter with their buddies.  He told me about his day at school, and what Super Hero was the biggest bad ass (my words not his), what snack food was the best, how much he likes playing T-ball, and he even touched upon the really really really mean man that the Navy Seals killed.  He continued to tell me that Navy Seals were men not actual seals like at Sea World, I could hardly control my laughter.

Since a lot of days my maturity level is about that of a 6 year old, I really enjoy talking to kids, I always have.  I love the chatter and subjects that kids come up with. I like little boys and the fart humor that comes with them.

Now I am not abandoning the good graces of any other mothers out there.  I am sure that after a period of time the incessant chatter of any child may have a tendency to find your last nerve and stomp all over it.

I am also tired of the question my husband poses to anyone that works with the boys.  "When are they going to talk?"  - He really wants an actual date and he will hold them to it.
Now because of Franklin's Autism and Jackson's speech delay, my kids do not talk.  So besides a lot of babbling we do not have a lot of kiddie conversations in my house (yet).

My "normal" is non verbal communication with my kids.  PECS, sign, and just being in tune with my kids to try and meet their needs.  I am fine with it and it works well for us.  But after our afternoon play time with our friends I got a little sad.  I didn't realize how much I was missing out on.  Because our "normal" is pretty much silence, I was unaware of how much I want to have the banter about super heroes and cartoons and candy and t-ball, or even to have my kids have a fight and call each other names would be music to my ears.  (when they are finally talking and I say they are driving me crazy, please never bring this blog post up)

The silence for the last couple of days has been deafening.  I am not saying anything bad about our kids, or that I don't like how my family lives because of the non-verbal element, but I am now aware of the absence of child chatter and toddler talk in our home.

I do long for the day when my kids can tell me what they want, what they need, what hurts, how their day was, when they have an actual argument.  Hell, I am even looking forward to getting a little bit of "lip" from them.  Being that I was the queen of giving attitude and lip to my parents I am sure it is due to me also.

I am blessed with the giggles of my boys and the smiles and the cuddles that I get, and I wouldn't change a thing.  I am ready to bring on the boy noise to my home.   Autism makes our family a little "different but not less" - Temple Grandin


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