Thursday, June 23, 2011

Short Summer Vacay

As a family with autism, routine, structure and consistency are the things that keep our home calm, cool and collected and meltdowns to a minimum for the most part.  I say we are a family with Autism because it does affect all of us in some ways more than others.

Franklin started his summer “vacation” yesterday, for a whole 3 days. He begins the Extended Special Education School Year on Monday.   Then another 2 weeks off in late August before the “real” school year starts again.  He still has his 3 hour afternoon ABA therapy sessions.  His regular schedule would choke even the most dedicated workaholic.

As I watch and listen to families planning their vacations, doing new things, going the beach, amusement parks, and various other summer camps, I try to gather myself and not look like a freak.  The green monster of envy comes around and bites my ass because those were the dreams of motherhood when I was pregnant.  That’s what I wanted to do with my kids, fun Disney World vacations, water parks, beach house, camping and a plethora of other stuff.  – Well Pity Party of 1 – GET OFF THE POT. 

What we are doing is helping out son build a foundation for the not so friendly world for himself with all this therapy, doctor appointments, school, social skills class, jiu jitsu, and structured play dates that are necessary to help the developmental delays. 

I want my family to have fun trips.  But there are big consequences for Franklin if we take big breaks from his treatment, and I’m not willing to have him have such big steps backwards so we can relax.  Just because it’s easy and might be fun doesn’t mean that it is the right thing to do for him and us.  He has come so far and continues to make strides that a vacation (which really aren’t relaxing for mom’s anyway) would do more harm than good.    Those things will come when he is ready, I know it.

So we are enjoying the short little breaks that school gives us and enjoying them.  Yesterday was an awesome day with both of my kids, swimming, therapy, jiu-jitsu, dinner, and an hour of wrestling in mommy’s bed with belly laughs.  What more can I ask for????  Those belly laughs from my kids kicked the ass of the green monster of envy and made me look at the big picture that my kids are happy, healthy and I am doing the best I can to raise good humans.  Yes, some days it’s more than I can bear, sometimes I cry myself to sleep, sometimes I hate the hell out of Autism, but I take these good days and they lift me up to the next good day.

Amazed today and how much I love my kids.


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