30 day fitness challenge - Barry's Bootcamp

I have begun a 30 day fitness challenge at Barry's Boot Camp in Irvine, CA.  Their fitness philosophy is Run, Lift, Repeat.  The workouts are intense.  My first day as a 44 year old woman and one week shy of being 2 years cancer free, I am taking on this quest to get myself fit for good.

My first workout today was with instructor Scott Perry.  It was a great workout.  I probably (no I know I could have done better).  3 weeks ago I was struck with pneumonia, and haven't quite gotten my wind back.  So this will be a work in progress.

My first half marathon is on May 6th, so this is a great cross training solution to my days when I am not out running on the road.  It will make me stronger, and hopefully faster, and increase my endurance.  I am putting my faith into the instructors at Barry's. The final day of this challenge will end with me running the 5K Irvine Lake Spring Break Mud Run.  I need to redeem myself from the pathetic time I ran it in last summer.

If you want to do something to kick your fitness up a notch, I suggest and recommend an intense workout like this Boot camp.  Barry's Boot Camp has several location across the country, and 1 in Orange County.  I am TOTAL germophobe, and I have to tell you, this gym smells clean, it looks clean and there is someone cleaning the equipment the second the room is clear.  It gives me a sense of peace to know that I'm not working out in a Petrie dish.

This challenge is hopefully enabling me to lose the last 20 lbs that I have been carrying. I spent a year losing 80 and need and want this last 20 lbs off of my ass.  So Barry's Boot Camp, the challenge is yours to get this 20 lbs off my rump.  :)

Rebecca

Real Train Wreck Awards

Okay, it is clear that since these crack pots have no class or manners when it comes to attending parties, dinners, or others homes, I propose Bravo do an episode where the women are forced to go to etiquette class together where some "Helga" whips their asses into shape.

It really would be hilarious.  Because these women all think they have it going on, and honestly there is nothing more to them than junior high school level of social skills.

In honor of the Oscar's this week, I am awarding each of the Train Wrecks an award.

Vicki - She wins "The World's most insecure/neediest/clingiest Person award - VICKI - Woman come on everyone loves you.  Do you really want everyone in your life to wear it on a neon sign on their forehead so you can admire it all the time? 

Tamra - She wins the "I NEED ATTENTION" award.  Let's see, the undo amount of drama, the ridiculous amounts of alcohol, and show boating, making porn, trying to have men touch your boobs, body shots.  You win Tamra you get the attention, God knows why people pay you any attention,  but you win.

Gretchen - Get's the "I like outfits with cameltoe" award.  The shorts you walked the dog with, I mean honestly, shop in the ladies section not the children's.  You are hot and have a banging body, but good Lord does all of Costa Mesa need to see the Vajajay walking the dogs down the street?

Alexis - She wins the "Silence would be golden" award.  Maybe join Toastmasters or something, because your little side interviews you do just seem to make you look like brain cells are falling out of your mouth with every spoken word.  Less is More.  I know you wouldn't ever consider that rule of thumb where your make up is concerned, but if you leave a little mystique about what you think, you will seem much more....  (look up a good word Alexis).

Heather - She wins the "I think my poop don't stink award".  I really like this chick, and that she doesn't want to have this classless, catty, group of metal patients to her house made me laugh out loud. A little bit pretentious, but it is OC, who isn't pretentious?  She carries it to a new level.  Her husband ROCKS I love that he just says it as it is, and she has a stick shoved so far up her ass she doesn't think he's funny.  I loved that he thought and called Vicki's dinner party low rent - HILARIOUS.  Lady you better laugh at this man who provides you with you wonderful life, because the "C" list of movies you've "acted" in will not keep you on "Billionaire's Row".  He's an awesome dude, have you seen some of the other whacko husbands on this franchise.  Worship the ground that man walks on for the love of Pete, don't be a douche bag!

Can't wait to see Slade on the comedic stage next week, and pick apart that looney.

Rebecca

Real Train wrecks Episode 2 - Season 7

It is now obvious that none of the Real Housewives of anywhere have ever read Emily Post about how to act at a dinner party.   Seriously, who do these broads think they are?  It is ever apparent that no matter how much money they have or pretend to have that they are not buying class with that money.

Good Lord,  Vicki has a lovely dinner party and Alexis is gagging and talking about barfing at the TABLE?!  What kind of people raised you?

You ladies went to great lengths to get yourself into the social scene that you are in yet you show WEEKLY that the trailer park is where you came from (I'm kind of afraid I may be offending the people that live in a trailer park, because I'm sure they have better manners and class that the Real Train wrecks).

Gretchen, I gotta tell you, I would never spend that kind of money on a handbag, but your ad looked great.  Thanks for supporting breast cancer.  And I have a feeling that you and Tamra may not have a friendship anymore, she's the meanest most judgement throw you under the bus broad ever.  She makes it embarrassing to be a chick.   Stay away from her, she is like a cancer.

Heather,  yeah, I'm having a real hard time feeling sorry for your proposal story on a plane to Paris.    Your big house, and cars, yeah that's just a shame he proposed on the plane to Paris and not actually in Paris.  Oh yeah, just because you live on Billionaire's Row (according to you) doesn't mean that everyone is going to know who are as an actress.  You were really in some block buster Oscar seeking flicks.  Can you say "C" List??  You aren't making it easy to like you.

Alexis,  honey, when you are at a dinner party,  you should just ask questions and listen to the answers,  don't talk to much, it's painful to watch you.  I know it may be mommy brain and filling 3 sippy cups a day for breakfast is oh so hard, and applying that drag queen make up daily to go to Starbucks.  You EMBARRASS moms and housewives.  Stop saying everyone in Orange County does this, because you know what WE DON'T.  We pay our mortgages don't bankrupt ourselves, short sell our houses, and buy new ones for cash. We are Real you my dear are a TRAIN WRECK, at least you are a little entertaining.  And you're friend Peggy should have told you about dating your husband, it's both their fault.

Vicki,  Brooks seems nice.  Does it get exhausting to be you?  I mean you are a successful mom, business woman, etc, you really need someone telling you every hour how awesome you are?  Do you ever tell anyone else how awesome they are?  Just sayin.  And please, stay away from Tamra she is crazy loony and talks about you behind their back.  Do you really want to be friends with someone that can't take a joke?  Do you need to be friends with someone that wants to put your boyfriends hand on her boob???  Could she be more disrespectful and gross?  Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are.  That woman is like black tar on your foot at the beach, dirty, stinky, annoying and it's hard to get away from.

Tamra,  please go read a book on class.  You are the tackiest woman in OC.  You have no class, you act like a 17 year old.  You do realize that your kids will eventually see this, so you have last years bathtub scene, and now you're putting strangers hands on your boobs in public.  Way to class it up.  How much therapy do you think your girls are going to need?

Well this season has a lot more in store I'm sure, and I can't wait to see what the ladies duke it out about.  Hope it gets better from here because it's a little boring. But I do welcome the guilty pleasure and get away from any sort of reality, because there is no reality in that TV when these chicks are on it.

 

Rebecca

The Call that changed EVERYTHING

I was sitting here going through our papers getting our tax stuff together to prepare our taxes, and I found my note pad, that on this particular day 2 years ago, I brought home from work.

2 years ago I was at work and got the call, the call that stopped the rotation of the earth and shattered me.  My cell phone rang at work and I didn't recognize the number and I thought it might be my sons school calling.  I picked it up, and it was Dr. R on the phone, and the whole conversation didn't last long  and I don't remember much of it but it all sounding like Peanuts characters listening to the teacher speak and then I heard the words "Stage 1 carcinoma".    What?!  "What did you just say?",  Dr. R said "After your biopsy we have found that you have a stage 1 carcinoma in your right breast."    Stunned, and feeling like I had just been smacked in the stomach with a bat by Derek Jeter I had to ask "Did you just tell me I have cancer?". ..........  Yes he did in fact tell me I had cancer, and that I had to find a surgeon and let them know where to send the test results.

Holy crap for real????  I went for the damn mammogram to meet our insurance deductible so my son could get some much needed services for his autism, the mammogram was not supposed to come up with CANCER for crying out loud.  Did the man upstairs not know that I had a baby that just turned one year old, and my 3 year old had just been diagnosed with Autism.  Cancer, I had no time for cancer, it had no place in my home, and I was so paralyzed with fear for a few days I could barely see straight.

So as I did with our autism diagnosis I scoured the Internet for every treatment available, but this time I was searching for a miracle to keep me around for these kiddos.

I researched the different ways to beat this cancer,  I say beat not treat, because I needed to beat this.  Autism needed to be fought, cancer I had no time for -  I just had to kick it's ass immediately and get back to focusing on the little one that had a window of opportunity to treat his autism the most effectively.

I elected to have a double mastectomy and my ovaries out.  It was drastic, swift, serious, harsh, brutal, and 100% necessary to get me back in commission to be a mom as fast as possible.  You see I have a family that has been riddled with cancer, and I have seen what it does to people, I have seen the treatment brutalize people, and I truly was scared to the bottom of my soul.  My one year old was just a baby, I HAD TO BE BETTER.  Losing this battle was not an option for my boys.

I found a medical team that agreed with what I wanted, and swiftly and quickly we did the surgery and I was on the way to recovery, to be a mom, a wife,  a friend, daughter, sister, and a general pain in the ass to anyone that wanted to argue with me and how I did things.

I am happy to report I have been cancer free for nearly 2 years, I have taken an aggressive approach at taking care of myself.  I work with my children and their treatment and the things necessary to make them better.

This call that I took 2 years ago made cancer a family battle, everyone participated, and everyone was changed for good and for bad.  I am a lucky cancer survivor.  I thank God every day for the 2nd chance he gave me to be the mom, wife, daughter, sister, family member and friend that I could be.

The day before the call came in

I hate cancer and what it has done to my family, friends, and loved ones.  I don't want it to come back so I humbled by the disease, and know it is my responsibility to do what I can and care for my body so I can care for my kids.  So as you read this and remember you skipped your mammogram last year, or cancelled your last appointment, please make it and get it done.  Everyone needs you!
 

Rebecca

They're BAAACK - The Real Trainwrecks of OC - Season 7

Well, I have to say I didn't miss them much because they were pretty boring and predictable last season.  Drag Queen make up, pretentious posing, staged drama, divorce, soft core porn, and dinner parties from hell.  This is what all the "Real Housewives" franchises are, so you really just tune in for the characters.  They have to be characters because I refuse to believe that 40 something (in some cases 50 something) women act like Lindsay Lohan in junior high school.  It is a guilty pleasure I get out of watching 5 women in Orange County try to portray themselves as "Real", when there is nothing real to them. 

So after 2 years of vicious cat fighting name calling and slanderous words Tamra and Gretchen are now friends. Um, sure - Bravo we believe that none of your shows are scripted.  OH MY GAWD. "Secret Lovers" as they called it because they are keeping it a secret from everyone.  For the love of God, Gretchen,  Tamra is so mean, nasty and untrustworthy, she has thrown you and every single person on the show under the bus like she is queen of the OC.  You will regret this decision, because Tamra is the epitome of jealousy in the OC, she has nothing and wants it all.  She will take you down to her level.  Don't seek a lower companionship, there has to be better chicks in OC to want to be friends with don't let it be the meanest one in town.

Alexis you filled 3 sippy cups for breakfast and got cereal bars out of the pantry and complained at how hard it is to be a working mom.  I nearly choked.  You have an assistant, you bought your kids lunch at school, and threw some cereal bars in a backpack before your one day of work out of the house.  My goodness woman, how on earth do the rest of us do it.  Oh, yeah I forgot to mention how "glammed" up you got.  I am going out on a limb here, but am, fairly certain the glamming up took priority over the kids breakfast.   Seriously, you really can't think you have it so challenging.  Most of us REAL MOMS work, have no help, and don't spend several hours putting our drag queen make up on before our 1 hour job in San Diego one day a week.  Your life, so stressful, short selling your house in Newport Beach on the tax payers back, whilst in bankruptcy and then buying a beautiful home in Dana Point for cash.  Excuse me whilst I barf, and have no sympathy for "how hard it is" to be you. 

I have to go back to Tamra, you said Heather the new housewife is everything Alexis wants to be.  Isn't that everything you were portraying to be in the first couple of seasons you were on the show.  You were all fine and happy with your marriage and big house behind the gates, Rolex's, plastic surgery, tennis bracelets, and yachts until - HELLO - bad economy- you figured out you weren't wealthy????  You were pretending to be wealthy before Alexis was on the show.  Hello - Pot, meet Kettle.  Good Lord woman, be a little less hypocritical and mean and maybe people wouldn't want to knock the hat off your head when you are seen in line at Starbucks around town.

Vicki, well I can't wait to see the turn of events in your life this season.  See the drama self-induced and otherwise that comes with this season.  But Vicki you are so smart and driven.  Why on earth, after seven OC season and a slew of other Housewives franchises would you have a dinner party.  It is clear that anyone that signs on to be a housewife has no class when it comes to dinner parties.  You all act like spoiled, psychotic, attention starved children when invited to some one's home.  Since you are trying to sell yours and all I would think that you wouldn't want your stuff messed up, so I can't wait to see what happens next week when the proverbial poo poo hits the fan at the first dinner party (of the season) from hell on the OC Housewives.

Heather, welcome and stay the hell away from Tamra, she's a jealous Tasmanian devil.  She will turn on you like the Chupacabra.  Can't wait to see the antics you bring to the OC, how "REAL" you are.

So I look forward to another breathtaking season.  And the fact that you women make me feel like such a good wife, mother and friend, the self-esteem boost I get when I look at you all and your behavior is almost as great as the 80 lbs I've lost. 

Rebecca

Craptastic Attitude cured by a craptastic run

This morning I did not want to go out on a run even a little bit, and even less did I want to go into a gym and see actual people. I wanted to get back in bed and just sleep and or feel craptastic.  Seemed like a good thing to want at the time.  But I put my running clothes on, ate a little breakfast, and figured at least the fresh air and sunshine would do me some good.

Perfect temperature and the sun wasn't too bright, so off I went, with the guilt that I didn't take my dogs this time.  You see we have been having these kick ass autism weeks where Franklin is making huge strides in his behavior and potty training is coming a long, he is sleeping much better, eating a little bit more (which is still not much), but he's actually eating so that is good.  He goes to school and is hitting some benchmark goals, things are moving FORWARD, and that was just elating me.  I get elated over little things like Franklin figuring out that tokens are what make the games work at Chuck E. Cheese.  I let that carry me for 2 weeks I was so excited that he made the correlation between the two.  It's making that crack in the shell of autism a little larger which thrills me and makes me feel like Rocky and autism is Apollo Creed.  I walk around like a peacock trying to show how awesomesauce my kid is doing.  Jackson is kicking ass in pre-school, and is hitting goals but has some behavior issues and needs work, but his teachers are crazy excited at the progress he's making in just the month he's been there.

I felt that the burden of autism was lifted a little bit recently and I don't know if I got complacent or cocky or neglectful or what it was, but 2 nights in a row we had "poop" incidents, I will spare the true grossness and gory details. It was a disappointment, and at first I was mad at Franklin, and then I was mad at me for being mad at Franklin, and then I hit the wall.  All I will say is we have been working on potty training for about a year, and poop is a nightmare.  I had it where Franklin would finish therapy we'd put a diaper on him and he'd poop and be done, back to underwear.  I have beat myself up over this poop thing for months.  I have sat in the bathroom for HOURS on end to get him to go, made the bathroom the most entertaining place in the house to be, and many other methods to get him to eliminate in the toilet to no avail.  And there are very few that understand this issue, and no one that I really want to go to to ask them how do you get poop out of carpet, hair, baseboards, it is friggin' embarrassing and makes me feel like a freak and failure as a mother.  I don't even feel comfortable going to other autism moms about it since my recent experience with a mom's group recently, some mom's groups clearly are not safe places and a few people in them are mean and mental (but that is another issue completely).

So as I was into my first mile this morning with tears going down my face, I realized that autism is a small torture device for my kids.  I know they don't want to shit themselves and wipe it all over, I know they don't want to NOT talk, I know they don't want to be intensely bothered by loud noises and crowds, I know they don't just want to jump on the bed in their rooms while we are having company over, I know they don't want to wake up at 2am and scream up and down the halls until 6am, I know they don't want to take 2 hours to eat a meal, I know they don't want to itch their skin until it bleeds.  I know all of these things about them, they can't help it, it is the fucking AUTISM that tortures these kids.  It's the autism that tortures families, it's the autism that sucks the life and happiness out of people, it's the autism that I hate and am angry at and that I need to kick the shit out of.

Into my second mile of my run I came to the big realization that since my kids are tortured by autism, I need to help them as much as possible, and even though I am not the best runner, or the fastest, and I fall of the track and don't train right, and have a lot to learn, I need to be a better runner, so I'm a better mother and care taker to them.  I have to be healthy, I have to clear my head, and get stronger so I have the ability to kick the crap out of autism.  And I can not whine because it hurts to run, or I'm bored running or whatever my excuse du jour is, my kids are victimized by autism daily, I can take a little pain, boredom, or crappy weather and just SHUT UP AND RUN.  Take my aggression and anger and sadness out on the road or the track not on my kids, friends or family.

So a new day, a new training schedule and off we go, training for autism and running this OC half marathon in May, for my kids, not for me to show I can do it, but for my kids and only for my kids.  Trudging the road of autism and all that comes with it, the good, the bad, and the poop.

Rebecca

Kicking autism in the behind

 

I absolutely love when my son gets the opportunity to give autism a kick in the groin.  I forget sometimes the struggle that just the small things are for Franklin are to do.  He’s 5 and has no words, the sensory input sometimes is unbearable for him, his eating is compromised because of many issues that we are currently working on, he doesn’t socialize, he doesn’t play with other children, sometimes children don’t want to play with him because he flaps his arms and babbles too much and sometimes still wears a diaper.

I sometimes feel like I just accept that he is delayed in all areas, and miss the big things that he does.  When I say big, they are HUGE to me, something that your typical child does everyday and you may take for granted, or not even notice anymore.

There are a lot of things that we don’t do or can’t do because the sensory input is just too much and it causes a meltdown in my kids.  Either it’s too noisy, too crowded, a new location, or out of routine, any thing different than their normal structure has the ability at times to make Autism hijack my kids and their behavior and have a field day. 

This week a couple hurdles were jumped over that I was so excited about it nearly brought me to doing a cartwheel down the street.  We went to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese and last year we went there and didn’t even make it through the door, the noise and chaos was more than his system could take.  I tried it again this week and we made it in the door, he sat on my lap for about 20 minutes with his fingers in his ears, ate his snack, went and sat with the other kids, and shockingly took my hand and led me to the play area.  That was the cool part, but the thing that was so amazing was that he figured out that the TOKENS were what operated the games and rides.  He knew they were in my pocket and put my hand in my pocket to get them out, and put them in the game he wanted to play.  If I could only tell you how ridiculously enormous of a generalization and what a big deal this was for him and me.  

It showed me that there is a lot more going on in him that I thought, he understands things that I don’t give him credit for.  He knows more than I think.  Because he doesn’t speak I have to figure out on my own what he does and doesn’t know, and I am learning this week that he is much more intuitive that I acknowledge.  Things are changing and that is exciting.

Mommy needs to let go of the reigns a little and let the boy expand his wings.  I heard the expression about kids with special needs and autism that they have a “learned helplessness”.  Basically, it’s me that is teaching him to be helpless, and I’m not trying to do that, but I want to do things quickly, so I do dress him, I do brush the teeth, pick up the toys, and more things that I can do on his own, I just do it because it is much faster than if I wait for him to do it.

I am going to not always be so rushed, I need to help him grow and crush the shell of autism that his him captured.  We chip away at the shell constantly but he is making such big strides right now, I need to do what I can to help him, and that is going to mean making him do more for himself.  Be the 5 year old he is.  It is not too much to expect him to carry his own backpack in the house and hang it on a hook.  He does it at school, why not at home???  Mommy can’t be the safety net anymore because I know he knows how to and that he is ABLE to it.  He has more abilities than I am aware of, and I don’t want to do my little guys a disservice by doing to much, but I also don’t want to be neglecting their needs.  It’s a fine line of mommy guilt I will be walking but I will have to put my big girl pants on even though it will be tough and let him do what he is able in the time it takes.  I can put on his shoes in 30 seconds, it will take him 5 minutes to do it alone, but he CAN do it and I need to let him.

So take that autism, we will continue to junk punch you and get our kids out of your tight grip!

Rebecca