I do not know, and will never understand how some of you do it all.
Martha Stewart I am not
Bethenny Frankel is annoying to me but I like what she has done for herself but the OCD needs to be slapped out of her
Rachael Ray seems like someone I'd hang with because I bet she would let a dish soak in the sink over night.
I rarely can get laundry done folded and put away in the same day.
My mother in law must think she is in a contest to clean the world because the woman NEVER stops no matter whose house she is at mine, hers, her other kids, it's a psychotic need she has to have a spray bottle and towel in her hand and be wiping up some mess.
In the month and a half since I have been at work the ridiculous guilt I feel when my 2 year old is crying when I leave every day is palpable.
I don't have my Halloween candy purchased
I don't know what they are going to be for Halloween
I don't have Halloween cards or gifts for everyone at school
I am not ready for Christmas, have no idea what anyone is getting and how we are even going to pay for Christmas this year
i don't know where we are eating Thanksgiving and frankly I don't care.
Maybe I need to stop watching the TV and thinking the women of Bravo are a lesson in how to be a good wife and mom.
I came out of such a dark and scary year and I want to be good and do so many things that I feel inadequate at them all now. I want to be the good mom, the good wife, the good employee, daughter, friend, sister, and Aunt. I want to be the good runner and athlete, and the best blogger and good writer, and the list goes on and on. Right now I feel like I'm sucking at everything being a mom, a worker, a blogger, and an athlete. I'm slacking in everything and I need to step it up. But why????
I am a good mom, my kids are happy, we kick Autism down the road every day and chip away at it as best we can, I try my best to exercise 20 minutes daily, I try to eat decent, some days just going to work and caring for my kids is the best I can do, and I think that should be enough for the most part. I keep the house in decent shape (but it does drive my mother in law nuts) We are like Everybody loves Raymond, no matter how much I spent cleaning she would always find something else to clean or clean it better. I'm over the contest, she wins.
I will always be the mom who needs coffee to get through a day, and I will always be the mom who is laughing at something terrible and inappropriate. I want to be the mom who stays home with her kids but right now I need to work and help provide for our family. So I need to s silence the noise in my head that I'm not doing anything right, because I am doing what is in front of me, just like we all are.
So tomorrow I will make sure my kids eat 3 meals, that I get my time in at work, that everyone gets to their proper therapies and the dishes and stuff get done and I will say hi to my husband as we pass in the night while he is doing crazy overtime hours for the next couple weeks. If I get to vacuum and get a load of laundry and dishes done and get a workout in and put everyone to sleep the day will be a success, and hopefully I will chip away at the feelings of inadequacy and know that doing the best I can is sometimes good enough.