New Race Wear!

I am gearing up for my first half marathon this Sunday May 6th, and I thought to celebrate the event I would sport some new workout clothes and a sporty new outfit for the race. 

It was so hard to decide so I looked at many many running websites and photos looking for what would be the for race day.   I scoured the internet looking for activewear for women runners and found the perfect outfit.

Just like I would at any party or celebration I would always find something classic and black and dress it up with accessories.  I found a perfect pair of Champion compression capris and a Nike Dri Fit running bra.    I will be running in brand new womens activewear and the compression is tight but not constricting or uncomfortable and I swear there will be no jiggling of my jiggly parts during this whole race.  The clothes are really well made the seams don't rub me wrong and they feel like they are going to be completely comfortable for the whole 13.1 miles.

I am looking forward to crossing the finish line and looking like a cute runner.  Just crossing the finish line is my goal, the cute part is a bonus.  Happy Trails to you all :)

 

Rebecca

My biggest fear.....now in my reality wagon

I took me a few days after reading this article by Rex Dalton to compose my thoughts enough to eloquently write something that is not full of profanity and stating the ass kicking that I would like to dole out to several people involved in this.


The article sums it up completely, Rex laid it out very well.  Basically this is my biggest fear and the thing that keeps me up at night.  You see, my oldest son is a non-verbal moderately to severe 5 year old with Autism, and he does not have the ability to tell me what happens during a normal day at school, so I trust in the school that they are taking care of him and educating him.  That trust has now been shattered into a million little pieces.  It was not shattered by my son's school or anyone that works with him - or this would be a completely different post. (Probably made from a jail cell)

However, with all that being said don't think that I don't stop by school unannounced frequently to keep everyone on their toes.  I have made friendly with the Administrative staff, I bring cookies, cakes, coffee, and when I show up with my sons "lunch" I walk it over to his classroom with no discussion or problem.

At Taft Elementary School in Orange, CA and the Orange Unified School District they hired a human piece of excrement that "allegedly" abused the special needs children all non verbal.  And the horribly disturbing part is from the report of the aide giving it to the school, it was 3 months before the parents were notified.  3 MONTHS!!!!!  Are you insane?!  Are you kidding?!  What in the hell is wrong with people?  And by people I mean the school and school district and the teachers union.  This piece of trash is out on PAID administrative leave.  NICE!  If I was a parent in that district, I would just for general principal DEMAND that everyone that touched this case and did not notify the parents immediately BE FIRED!!!!

I am so thankful that this is not my school, district or child because there is not a way that I would be able to act as dignified as the parents involved.  If my kid is hurt, threatened, or I fear in any kind of discomfort a MOTHER GRIZZLY is going to UNLEASH an attack on you that you would not imagine.

These are special needs kids!  I mean come on, they have a hard enough life as it is.  This maggot had to allegedly abuse them, the district is apparently in the midst of a deep cover up, and the union trash is making sure the teacher that is accused of the heinous activity is PAID.  But let me ask you this, WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THE KIDS????  Isn't that what the school district is for, is to serve and educate the CHILDREN, not PAY ABUSIVE TEACHERS?

My son can not talk, and I do not know what goes on in his classroom all the time, and I live with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that someone, someday will hurt him and take and advantage of him and reading this article it made it a little bit more of my reality.  Autism is a fucked reality to live in daily. I love to look at the amazing strides that my kids make, to have to think and inspect their bodies for bruises everyday is now a part of our reality because they can't tell us what happens.  SHIT!  My biggest fear, that I have stuffed down for 3 years that my kids have been in school, is now a part of the autism reality.  So thank you asshats for adding yet another heavy stone to the wagon of fear I pull around with me everyday.
 

Rebecca

Be Aware and Accept Autism

Last week the Centers for Disease Control revised the number of the children and families.  1 in 88.  1 in 88!  1 in 56 of those is a boy.

Being that this is Autism Awareness month, if you are not aware or don't know anyone affected by autism, you probably will.  There are things you should know about Autism families because they do now walk amongst the "beautiful people".

• Autism hurts - it's hurts your heart, your soul, sometimes it even hurts to breath when you look at your child and you think of the struggles they have to go through daily to do the simplest tasks. So be kind and if you can't think of anything supportive to say, just give a pat on the back.
• A lot of  friends will disappear after diagnosis so the families are lonely and sad and the friends that stick around are people with souls and hearts of gold.
• If you are the kind of mother that needs to relentlessly comment on what a genius your spawn is,  - YOU ALWAYS WIN WITH THE AUTISTIC FAMILY.  So here is your award, so now you may possibly be able to tone it down a little when you are constantly talking about what a genius your baby is when my 5 year old has been being potty trained for a year and a half.
• Being a mom is hard being a mom of a special needs kid is a level of exhaustion that you will never fathom.  Bring a meal over, come sit with your friend while their kids are in therapy.  Ask them what they need.
• Please keep extending invitations, one day we won't be afraid of what our kids may or may not do in public or in a new home.  It's not that we don't want to go some things are so much on our kids sensory system we don't know what will happen and it is easier sometimes to stay in our cocoon.
• Please don't point out that my kid doesn't or won't play with your kids.  I know, I am keenly aware of the social ineptness that my child suffers from.  
• Don't be the informer.  Don't think you have to call or email every article or piece of research of autism that comes out in the media.  We have heard it, read it, seen it, laughed at it, cried at it, and been pissed at every piece of media about autism that there is.
• Don't be a well meaning moron by asking "Oh is he going to be like Rain Man?  You can take him to Vegas and get rich?"  Seriously - DON'T EVER SAY THAT  I was shocked at how many people think that. It's not funny, and that is not AUTISM.
• Don't stare at your friends autistic kids like they are a ticking time bomb.  They are not going to blow up.  Don't be afraid, ask us what you can do or how to interact with the kids.  They won't hurt you.  
• Do know that sometimes we may call you up crying because some days the reality is a little too real.

• Know that your friend misses your old friendship and the laughter and the good times.

There is so much to be aware of with families affected by autism, but common sense and kindness will go the farthest.  Make yourself aware, learn about it if you have a friend that is now touched with autism extend the olive branch.  Your heart and soul will thank you for it. 

The women and families in our neighborhood are the greatest example of awareness and acceptance that I have ever come across, their children are good to my kids, they are good to my kids no matter what they may do and how they behave.  I sometimes wish the rest of the world was like my neighborhood, it may make me want to venture out of my 1 mile radius :).

Rebecca

Barry's Bootcamp - End of the 30 day challenge- but still a work in progressRebec

My 30 days of training at Barry's Bootcamp in Irvine have come to an end.  It was an amazing ride, it took me to levels of working out I did not think I was capable of.  It kicked up my knowledge of nutrition, physical fitness, and mental clarity a couple of notches.  When I didn't think I could make it through something on the treadmill or even here in my home with my kids having a horrible autistic day, all I could hear were the trainer voices in my head "You can do this!", "You can do anything for 45 seconds", "Yes it will hurt, yes it will suck, but that is what makes the change happen".   It's crazy because all of those phrases are so true and it took being yelled at on a treadmill to make them a reality to me.

It was great to end the challenge at the Irvine Lake Mud Run, and while I was trudging through the mud seeing one of my trainers blow past me with a smile, I love the motivation that Scott, Kara, and Kathryn gave me to do things that as a 45 year old former fat girl never though she would be able to do.

I accepted the challenge and wanted to lose the last 20 lbs that I have been trying to get off of my rump.  I didn't quite make that goal, I lost 12 lbs in the month of March, an inch off of my waist, an inch off of my chest, and around each thigh!!!

This was a wonderful mental and physical challenge, I think an amazing cross training for my half marathon in a month.   I wake up each morning and just feel stronger.

Before

I want to thank Barry's Bootcamp and The Ace Agency for inviting me to the challenge, it was a huge gift to mentally break through and be able to do things that I had convinced myself for years I would never be able to do. 

So I will see Barry's every Friday for a full body workout and continue my half marathon training, and becoming an athlete, the former fat girl is gone and the real athlete mom is now in the house!!!!

After

Always In Progress

Rebecca

Housewives of OC Really??????

I am behind a few weeks on this Season of the Train wrecks of Orange County, because frankly they are irritating and stupid. I am fairly sure that if I ran into a few of them on the street I would knock them right off of their stilettos, just to amuse myself.

I get reality.   In someways and on some days my life and those of most of the Real Moms in OC there is a little too much real in our reality. Besides one real crazy bitch in Laguna Niguel that is off her psychiatric medication, I have never come into contact with women who treat each other so poorly. These are middle aged, made up like bad street walkers that are crying about nose jobs, who are friends with who they are nothing more than a HOT MESS.

Vicki it is clear that you are the neediest, clingiest, and most self-centered person on the planet. I mean for crying out loud you are driving your daughter to oncology surgery whining about how YOU are going to get through this??????? REALLY???? Why would you do that? I am a mom and I would do everything in my power to make sure my kid was as comfortable as possible. Last year when my mom drove me to my oncology surgery not once did she mention herself. It's sad I really used to enjoy you on the show but your true colors of selfishness are not a portrayal of anyone that is REAL in OC. Ad your new relationship is great, but he got behind on his child support, admit it, be nice to others in that position,a nd humble yourself. If you are,going to try and play the Christian card at your convenience then you should lose the judgement and scrape that old gum Tamra off of your shoe.

Gretchen, you have some business smarts it appears. Get some real smarts and get the hell away from Tamra the mental patient. She is crazy and nothing more than a huge shit stirrer, I think she wants to skin you and wear you like last years Versace. Slade is slimy but if you're happy please explain why. I just don't get the guy at all.

Alexis, honey, the women are mean, you don't know how to be mean, just go away from them. And for Pete's sake, you cry too much over a minor surgery. Do you know how much that irritates those of us that have had to have had surgery because of cancer or other horrible things? Will you please grow a pair and throw a big pot of spaghetti on Tamra she was so rude and disgusting to you, you need to put that animal in her place.  We need more action from you and less talking, in your case talking less is much more.

Heather, you are hilarious to watch, because you cast dispersions on the other chicks with a smile on your face. Love it! "Shut it down" is my new favorite line.

Tamra, I need to know if Bravo gave you a raise for going off of your anti-psychotic medication? You are crazy, you went completely psycho over a couple of drunken high fives and tried to make your best friends boyfriend handle your boob. WHO DOES THAAT??? You are at a RESTAURANT a fondue restaurant and act like you're shocked that the are going to serve food with calories. Eating disorder much? You clearly are planning a huge Hen house fight. You are insensitive and horrible to Vicki who you claim is your best friend on earth, and then you try and throw her and Gretchen in the ring. Was that supposed to be an illegal cock fight or something. We're you sad no one drew first blood? You need psychiatric help go get some.

This season has really made me reflect on how mentally healthy I am. So to the real housewives of OC thank you for making me feel so much better about myself, and how superior I am emotionally, spiritually and maternally and I fell that way even without the drag queen makeup you all proudly display.
 

Rebecca

Breakdown to Breakthrough

I went to my last Barry's Bootcamp workout of the week on Friday.  Friday is the Full Body Workout, and it's friggin' exhausting.  But an amazing workout.  Scott Perry did a great class, and I still have a hard time keeping up, and that crazy head of mine telling me I'm the fat old lady in class no wonder I can't keep up.  I really need to beat that voice in my head, I hate it.

After driving home from the workout out I was speeding along the freeway crying.  I feel sometimes like I just SUCK at working out.  I get panicked when I'm running too fast and can't catch my breath and I stop.  I don't like to work that hard, I guess.

I was pondering why I get so wigged out when running or working out and right before I kick it into a super high gear I start to panic and just stop.  What is that?  Who does that?

I was thinking I just like running and trotting along not breathing super hard, not pushing super hard, able to finish with a smile on my face, not wincing in pain and sweat.  It really is bullshit.

Every time I finish a workout I'm excited, and happy that I finished, and these boot camps have really shown me what I can and can not do, and the areas I need to work harder.   It's the working HARDER that pisses me off.  I like working out, I don't love it, I do it because its good for me and it will help me stay healthy so I'm here to take care of my kids.  I started working out a year ago exactly, and have lost 85 lbs, and this time last year I couldn't run five feet, and now I can run five miles regularly.

I want the working out to be fun, the rest of my life is hard, my marriage is hard, autism is hard and sucky, and my body after cancer is hard to get over, the economy is hard, being a mom is hard.  For the love of Pete, when is shit going to start being fun and or easy?

So I have no other choice but to make all this hard work and races, and boot camps and mileage fun because the rest of my life doesn't look like it's going to change, and I'm not saying that the rest of my life is bad in any way shape or form, my life is good, but there are so many things that are hard about it, I am looking for something that is easy and fun.

This is why I am doing it, I need to be here for these smiles

So a breakthrough from boot camp.  So I will make it fun from now on, these workouts are mine, they don't belong to anyone else, they are mine, the more I do the harder I work the stronger I get, in my body, in my mind and in my spirit.

Rebecca

Barry's Bootcamp - Week 2

The nightmare bronchitis seems to be fading away, and I sort of have my wind back.  I am in the 2nd week of the challenge at Barry's Bootcamp.  So far I'm 3lbs down, and my endurance in the class is getting better.  I am sometimes not thrilled with my performance, but being that I am a work in progress, I am seeking to just get better than I am not be the best!  I am running and using Barry's Bootcamp as my Cross Training for the half marathon!

I liked our instructor Kathryn today,  you have got to love an instructor that says "It's going to hurt, It's going to suck, and you're gonna hate me."  I love when they tell the truth!  But she was good the workout was very difficult but not to the point where I felt like a 90 year old in a room of 20 year olds.

I am enjoying this challenge, it is preparing me for the Irvine Lake Spring Break Mud Run at the end of this month and I'm 60 days away from the OC Half Marathon.  I don't know how I'm going to be ready, but I will be ready, come hell or high water!

Thank you Barry for giving me a boost of confidence to kick myself up a notch.

Rebecca