New Face on the Old Head

I know, I know, I make fun of people with too much filler and plastic surgery.  Too much, not when it helps you feel better or look fresh.  We all know who the too much people are, Prisilla Presely, Suzanne Sommers, Joan VanArk, Joan Rivers.   My biggest fear is to look like them.  B

Well I succumbed today to help my skin and face get a little pick me up.  44 years of sun and fun, and the 5 years of sleepless nights and raising and autistic child, and the tears that have been shed over cancer, and just life and the happenings around me have made me look and feel a little older than I like.

Before

So it was suggested to me to try out Laser Treatments for my face to help rejuvenate my looks.  I decided to go with Fraxel because I am crazy busy and do not have the time for a lot of maintenance and down time.  Fraxel works because there is no downtime.  I just look like I have a sunburn today, the skin will sluff off in the next 3 to 5 days and I just have to keep it moisturized.  Easy enough.

1 hour after Fraxel

So I went into Pure Indulgence Skin Rejuvenation in Laguna Niguel, CA and had the treatment.  I arrived and had to put numbing cream all over my face and chest and sit until it kicked in.  So my whole head felt like it was at the dentist.  Not really, but got numb, and I was ready for the laser.   As Gigi came in (the nurse who administers the procedure) the machine started beeping and off she went.  There is a big want that she will rub across your face and I'm not going to say it's painless, I'm glad there was numbing cream involved for sure.  It didn't hurt but it was a little uncomfortable.  But come on ladies, we have had babies for the love of God, that is pain, this not so much.

As we finished the treatment, Gigi gave me my care instructions, which are fairly basic and washing and moisturizing.  Now I am a pretty care free girl, and my skin care regimen - well I don't really have a skin care regimen - sometimes I wipe my eye makeup off with baby wipes, and maybe get some baby lotion on my face if it's feeling dry.  I KNOW that is terrible.  So I did get the Skin Again Radiance package.  A 3 step process before bed.  A cleanser, Lift & Hydrate serum, and Wrinkle Reduction cream.  It seems worth it to care for the treatment I just got.

Now I do look like I got a massive sunburn and my face is very hot but from my research and what everyone has told me that will be gone in a day or so.  But there is nothing I can not do today (except go in the sun and sweat).  Which for a real mom is the PERFECT treatment!

Thanks to Pure Indulgence, Gigi and Skin Again for bringing the life back to my face.

Rebecca

I better not be turning into a "Real Housewife" for the love of God

Today I had my 2 year MRI to check my tata's and make sure all is still good with them and I am still cancer free.   If you've had breast cancer you know that the MRI machine is something that you see frequently.

Well today my breast surgeon sent me to a new radiology center that I had not been to before.  I walked in it was nice and all, and I was full of anxiety as I am every time I get a scan, or go to any doctor that has to do with the dreaded Big C!

I think I have had about 8 - 10 MRI's in my life, and 6 have been in the last 2 years, so no big deal right? 

Well holy hell!  I met this sweet technician and this particular MRI, I was getting contrast, so she had to start an IV, and that was fine too.  We go into the machine room and I started to sweat and feel a little nauseous, good God really?! I am not turning into one of those sissy buffoons that is crying over nothing am I?  So I get on the table, face down with my tata's in the two holes and my face in this ring like on a massage table and then big earphones for music so you don't have to listen to the horrendous noise going on around you in the cylinder.

So I'm in the table, IV is started, and she pushes me into the tube and I flipping start hyperventilating.   I felt like I couldn't breath, I couldn't move my arms were against the cylinder and when I lifted my head it hit the top of the tube.  I started yelling "STOP, STOP, STOP", "I can't stand it, get me out, I'm suffocating."  Yeah, all that drama.   - NEVER have I done this before, and then I started CRYING in public, in front of strangers!!  Really?!!!! So I try to pull it together to get the test finished, and she puts me back in and I go through the first 5 - 7 minutes and holy hell the water works start again, and my face is in this hole, and the earphones are making it impossible to move my head and I feel like I am in a coffin and I start yelling.  "I can't do it!  Get me out! Get me out!".  Oh My Gawd.  What in the hell has happened to me???

So the half marathon running, cancer surviving, autism REAL mom of OC, lost her shit at radiology center and now I have to be put to sleep for the test.  All I could think of driving home was how one of the Real Nut Jobs (housewives) of Orange County would have acted, and it was probably exactly like I behaved in their.  Good God, someone kick me in the shins or something and snap me out of it.  I would rather behave like anything but one of those fruit loops.

Rebecca

Slow and Steady and Weepy and Sore

Well I did it!! Finally, I'm sure you're tired of hearing about it.  But I finished my first FRIGGIN' Half Marathon!  Huhlo, Mama is a runner!

Let me get all the things that pissed me off about the race out first.  I was so aggravated that I couldn't sleep the night before, I literally just LAID there until 3:30am and got up got my PB&J sandwich and headed out the door.  The bus driver that took us from the finish line to the starting line was competing to be a ride operator on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride in the most rickety school bus that was barely even road worthy. I was mad at myself for believing the voices in my head that I couldn't do it all morning, I said just go home, no one will even know.  The hill at Mile 11.5 YOU SUCK!!!  The pain in my feet I hated and the fact that I hit the wall at mile 10 and couldn't get anymore juice to keep my momentum up.

Enough with the negativity, now!  I ran 13.1 miles, granted I ran it slow, 3:12, stopping for pee breaks, hamming it up with the spectators and taking pictures didn't add to the craptastic time I had!   I learned a lot, and will be able to carry forward into another half marathon better ways to train, eat, and pace myself and concentrate on the race not just the dang finish line.

What a beautiful race course, we were fortunate enough to run through the beautiful cities of Newport Beach, Corona Del Mar, and Costa Mesa.  A view of some body of water be it the Pacific Ocean or the Bay was visible for the majority of the race. The homes were magnificent and I loved the smell of fresh Jasmine on my run. The weather was spectacular, the spectators were plentiful and the signs were HILARIOUS.  "You trained longer than Kim Kardashian was married", "Run Faster, I just farted", "Make this Mile your Bitch", "Don't stop to walk people will Judge you", and my personal favorite "Stop Obama".

At mile 9 my pain started, my feet, then my hips, and I stopped to stretch, and got some water, and started up again at mile 10.5 I wanted to quit, and the only thing that kept me going was this stupid shirt I was wearing "Train 4 Autism".  Who in the hell did I think I was to think I was going to quit? These kids don't get to quit Autism when it gets tough.  So I told myself to SUCK IT UP, don't be a baby.   Your kids run a damn marathon DAILY (metaphorically of course).  Then the hill at mile 11, I want to know who thought that was a good idea?  JACK ASS!  No other way you could have gotten us to the fairgrounds but up that STUPID piece of shit hill?

I crossed the finish line to one of my very good friends to greet me.  I was crying like a little girl, it was very emotional for me, so much to be grateful for, the race was much bigger than I expected it to be.   Everyone else I ran with left my ass in the dust, and left me a little jealous.  But I finished.  I am a runner.  I now know I can do it.  I did this race for kids with Autism, to help the families whose lives are a marathon everyday.  I ran this race because 2 years ago I couldn't run five feet and had just kicked cancers ass and needed to get healthy and stay healthy for my little kids.  Running was the most therapeutic thing I could have done for all of us.  When I wanted to scream because autism hijacks my kids, I would run.  When I want to whack my husband because he doesn't help me when I'm begging for it, I would run.  When the pain and the fear I have about what Autism is too much, I would run and take it all out on the pavement.  Those $90 running shoes were the cheapest therapy I could have ever asked for.

I made a vow last year to get and stay healthy for my family.  I started running last year, and after a year of going back and forth I decided to do this.  I know what I could have done better, how I could have trained harder or different.  I need to get a better nutrition plan in place to get slim my ass down those last 20 lbs, and it will probably alleviate a lot of the pain that I was having.  So now I'm in the I Will Rock This Weightloss Challenge with some other bloggers and moms and I have a challenge to finish, and since I can finish half marathons

So Disneyland Half Marathon in September, be ready, I'll be back better, and stronger and ready to take you on.
 

Rebecca

New Race Wear!

I am gearing up for my first half marathon this Sunday May 6th, and I thought to celebrate the event I would sport some new workout clothes and a sporty new outfit for the race. 

It was so hard to decide so I looked at many many running websites and photos looking for what would be the for race day.   I scoured the internet looking for activewear for women runners and found the perfect outfit.

Just like I would at any party or celebration I would always find something classic and black and dress it up with accessories.  I found a perfect pair of Champion compression capris and a Nike Dri Fit running bra.    I will be running in brand new womens activewear and the compression is tight but not constricting or uncomfortable and I swear there will be no jiggling of my jiggly parts during this whole race.  The clothes are really well made the seams don't rub me wrong and they feel like they are going to be completely comfortable for the whole 13.1 miles.

I am looking forward to crossing the finish line and looking like a cute runner.  Just crossing the finish line is my goal, the cute part is a bonus.  Happy Trails to you all :)

 

Rebecca

My biggest fear.....now in my reality wagon

I took me a few days after reading this article by Rex Dalton to compose my thoughts enough to eloquently write something that is not full of profanity and stating the ass kicking that I would like to dole out to several people involved in this.


The article sums it up completely, Rex laid it out very well.  Basically this is my biggest fear and the thing that keeps me up at night.  You see, my oldest son is a non-verbal moderately to severe 5 year old with Autism, and he does not have the ability to tell me what happens during a normal day at school, so I trust in the school that they are taking care of him and educating him.  That trust has now been shattered into a million little pieces.  It was not shattered by my son's school or anyone that works with him - or this would be a completely different post. (Probably made from a jail cell)

However, with all that being said don't think that I don't stop by school unannounced frequently to keep everyone on their toes.  I have made friendly with the Administrative staff, I bring cookies, cakes, coffee, and when I show up with my sons "lunch" I walk it over to his classroom with no discussion or problem.

At Taft Elementary School in Orange, CA and the Orange Unified School District they hired a human piece of excrement that "allegedly" abused the special needs children all non verbal.  And the horribly disturbing part is from the report of the aide giving it to the school, it was 3 months before the parents were notified.  3 MONTHS!!!!!  Are you insane?!  Are you kidding?!  What in the hell is wrong with people?  And by people I mean the school and school district and the teachers union.  This piece of trash is out on PAID administrative leave.  NICE!  If I was a parent in that district, I would just for general principal DEMAND that everyone that touched this case and did not notify the parents immediately BE FIRED!!!!

I am so thankful that this is not my school, district or child because there is not a way that I would be able to act as dignified as the parents involved.  If my kid is hurt, threatened, or I fear in any kind of discomfort a MOTHER GRIZZLY is going to UNLEASH an attack on you that you would not imagine.

These are special needs kids!  I mean come on, they have a hard enough life as it is.  This maggot had to allegedly abuse them, the district is apparently in the midst of a deep cover up, and the union trash is making sure the teacher that is accused of the heinous activity is PAID.  But let me ask you this, WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THE KIDS????  Isn't that what the school district is for, is to serve and educate the CHILDREN, not PAY ABUSIVE TEACHERS?

My son can not talk, and I do not know what goes on in his classroom all the time, and I live with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that someone, someday will hurt him and take and advantage of him and reading this article it made it a little bit more of my reality.  Autism is a fucked reality to live in daily. I love to look at the amazing strides that my kids make, to have to think and inspect their bodies for bruises everyday is now a part of our reality because they can't tell us what happens.  SHIT!  My biggest fear, that I have stuffed down for 3 years that my kids have been in school, is now a part of the autism reality.  So thank you asshats for adding yet another heavy stone to the wagon of fear I pull around with me everyday.
 

Rebecca

Be Aware and Accept Autism

Last week the Centers for Disease Control revised the number of the children and families.  1 in 88.  1 in 88!  1 in 56 of those is a boy.

Being that this is Autism Awareness month, if you are not aware or don't know anyone affected by autism, you probably will.  There are things you should know about Autism families because they do now walk amongst the "beautiful people".

• Autism hurts - it's hurts your heart, your soul, sometimes it even hurts to breath when you look at your child and you think of the struggles they have to go through daily to do the simplest tasks. So be kind and if you can't think of anything supportive to say, just give a pat on the back.
• A lot of  friends will disappear after diagnosis so the families are lonely and sad and the friends that stick around are people with souls and hearts of gold.
• If you are the kind of mother that needs to relentlessly comment on what a genius your spawn is,  - YOU ALWAYS WIN WITH THE AUTISTIC FAMILY.  So here is your award, so now you may possibly be able to tone it down a little when you are constantly talking about what a genius your baby is when my 5 year old has been being potty trained for a year and a half.
• Being a mom is hard being a mom of a special needs kid is a level of exhaustion that you will never fathom.  Bring a meal over, come sit with your friend while their kids are in therapy.  Ask them what they need.
• Please keep extending invitations, one day we won't be afraid of what our kids may or may not do in public or in a new home.  It's not that we don't want to go some things are so much on our kids sensory system we don't know what will happen and it is easier sometimes to stay in our cocoon.
• Please don't point out that my kid doesn't or won't play with your kids.  I know, I am keenly aware of the social ineptness that my child suffers from.  
• Don't be the informer.  Don't think you have to call or email every article or piece of research of autism that comes out in the media.  We have heard it, read it, seen it, laughed at it, cried at it, and been pissed at every piece of media about autism that there is.
• Don't be a well meaning moron by asking "Oh is he going to be like Rain Man?  You can take him to Vegas and get rich?"  Seriously - DON'T EVER SAY THAT  I was shocked at how many people think that. It's not funny, and that is not AUTISM.
• Don't stare at your friends autistic kids like they are a ticking time bomb.  They are not going to blow up.  Don't be afraid, ask us what you can do or how to interact with the kids.  They won't hurt you.  
• Do know that sometimes we may call you up crying because some days the reality is a little too real.

• Know that your friend misses your old friendship and the laughter and the good times.

There is so much to be aware of with families affected by autism, but common sense and kindness will go the farthest.  Make yourself aware, learn about it if you have a friend that is now touched with autism extend the olive branch.  Your heart and soul will thank you for it. 

The women and families in our neighborhood are the greatest example of awareness and acceptance that I have ever come across, their children are good to my kids, they are good to my kids no matter what they may do and how they behave.  I sometimes wish the rest of the world was like my neighborhood, it may make me want to venture out of my 1 mile radius :).

Rebecca

Barry's Bootcamp - End of the 30 day challenge- but still a work in progressRebec

My 30 days of training at Barry's Bootcamp in Irvine have come to an end.  It was an amazing ride, it took me to levels of working out I did not think I was capable of.  It kicked up my knowledge of nutrition, physical fitness, and mental clarity a couple of notches.  When I didn't think I could make it through something on the treadmill or even here in my home with my kids having a horrible autistic day, all I could hear were the trainer voices in my head "You can do this!", "You can do anything for 45 seconds", "Yes it will hurt, yes it will suck, but that is what makes the change happen".   It's crazy because all of those phrases are so true and it took being yelled at on a treadmill to make them a reality to me.

It was great to end the challenge at the Irvine Lake Mud Run, and while I was trudging through the mud seeing one of my trainers blow past me with a smile, I love the motivation that Scott, Kara, and Kathryn gave me to do things that as a 45 year old former fat girl never though she would be able to do.

I accepted the challenge and wanted to lose the last 20 lbs that I have been trying to get off of my rump.  I didn't quite make that goal, I lost 12 lbs in the month of March, an inch off of my waist, an inch off of my chest, and around each thigh!!!

This was a wonderful mental and physical challenge, I think an amazing cross training for my half marathon in a month.   I wake up each morning and just feel stronger.

Before

I want to thank Barry's Bootcamp and The Ace Agency for inviting me to the challenge, it was a huge gift to mentally break through and be able to do things that I had convinced myself for years I would never be able to do. 

So I will see Barry's every Friday for a full body workout and continue my half marathon training, and becoming an athlete, the former fat girl is gone and the real athlete mom is now in the house!!!!

After

Always In Progress

Rebecca