The Rant of a Mom with 2 Boys with Autism

Today I got this article from a friend posted on my Facebook page.  I know she had every good intention when she sent it.  I am not in the least upset at her.  However, the article did make my blood boil, as do most that come out about Autism.   Because I am seriously now just calling BULLSHIT on most of the medical community and the media on their ridiculous claims about Autism.

Are they afraid to say, “We really and truly don’t have any idea what causes this”?  Because for the love of Pete, that is the honest to God’s truth.  NO ONE KNOWS 100% WHAT IS CAUSING AUTISM.  There are a lot of theories, claims and minutia thrown out and the media spins it in a new way every 2 – 3 months.  Let me tell you what these little 200 word articles do to the parents of children with autism, it is the equivalent of ripping their hope and hearts out of their bodies and throwing it in a huge bucket of shame and pouring acid on it.

Let’s look at all the “articles” that I have had well meaning people send me in the last 4 years.  What causes autism? 

• Refrigerator mothers, cold, unfeeling women that do not bond with their child that causes the social ineptitude in the kids.   I’m Italian – that is INVALID immediately
• Age of the mother,
• Age of the father,
• Living too close to a freeway,
• Living near a farm that used pesticides. 
• Lifestyle choices of the parents,
• Mitochondrial abnormalities (GENETIC)
• Vaccinations, (ENVIRONMENTAL)

Shall I go on, or do you get my point?   I have also gone to Doctors, well respected Doctors in the autism community who told me that because I had breast cancer that could have lead to higher causes in autism, and after that little gem that made me feel like I had been punched in the stomach- he also decided to tell me after looking at my kid for 5 minutes in a tent at a picnic that my child was having seizures while we were sitting there. You must know, I wanted to punch him in the throat (after I spent 5 days in Children’s Hospital getting an EEG on my 5 year old too make sure he wasn’t having seizures, which he was not).  I also had this other hippie patchouli oil smelling Doctor tell me because I had drank even one Diet Coke in my life could have been the environmental cause to my kids autism. 

This particular article has a variety of things that are pretty much put in perspective as to what autism families are forced to wake up to frequently.

Melillo does believe that autism is often a result of environmental factors combined with genetic predisposition.  The most potent lifestyle factors are diet and exercise and inflammation in the body.

                                   

Wow!!  That’s ground breaking Doctor.  Autism is a result of environment and genetics influences.  Almost as original as designing a floral dress in the Spring.  GAWD.

Melillo identified numerous preventative measures parents can take to better ensure their child will not be born with autism. All of these measures are included in his book, Autism: The Scientific Truth About Preventing, Diagnosing, and Treating Autism Spectrum Disorder -- and What Parents Can Do Now.

“One of the things that we looked at are things like… pre-natal vitamins,” Melillo said.  “Taking pre-natal vitamins three months before and for the first month of pregnancy lowers the risk of having a child with autism by 60 percent.”

Did you pick that statistic up?  If you take your prenatal vitamins in your first month of pregnancy – Do the majority of women even know they’re pregnant the first 3 weeks? And the last 3 months of pregnancy you decrease your risk of autism by 60%.  So you have a 40% chance of autism if you DO take those prenatal vitamins?  Honest to God????? That’s the best you can come up with?  You have got to be kidding me.  All to publish a book, this is what you are offering people?  Why don’t you say it like this okay 40% of you women religiously taking your pre-natal vitamins you still have a chance of having a kid with autism? My God, isn’t that some sort of malpractice?  Doctors have to name some kind of cause of autism that blames the mother.  It’s INSANE.  It couldn’t possibly be the mercury filled, preservative laced vaccinations that are given at a ridiculously fast pace to a tiny little body under 20 lbs., could it?????
 
And for what I agree with on this article is this:

As for where the future of autism reearch is going, he said it will delve more into the mechanisms behind the disorder.

“I think it's going to go towards understanding what is really happening,” Melillo said, “and understanding how the brain regulates the body. You know, people don't realize that the brain regulates the immune system, your digestive system.  Most food sensitivities and allergies and immune problems really start in the brain, and I think all of this is going to go towards understanding the brain, how the brain affects the body, how this can affect somebody you know before they are having a child, and how this is actually affecting the child”.

So, all of you Doctors and your over weaning egos need to address this, and work together, I have been to and watched and heard way too many doctors dismiss treatment, therapies, and parental observations of their autistic children because frankly it didn’t fit into an agenda they want to promote.  You all need to work together and come up with a variety of treatments and things that will help autistic children.  You have to have heard the phrase “If you have met one kid with autism, then  you have met ONE kid with autism”.

I have 2 kids with autism and they couldn’t be on a more different places on the autism spectrum. 1 vaccinated and 1 not.  One is severe, and one is mild/moderate on the spectrum. One verbal, one non-verbal.  One is social (mostly inappropriately) and the other has no idea there are any other people on the planet than just a few of us.   So I feel like Autism x 2 24/7 has given me a voice, a rather newly intolerant voice for the CRAP that is thrown out at families with autism.  The way our world is rocked and changed forever the minute we get the diagnosis is enough.  To be forced every 6 – 8 weeks to look at a RIDICULOUS article stating and placing blame on everything that may or may not cause autism because some Doc or Researcher paid a Public Relations firm to get their name in the paper or their book some sales (I’m not trying to speak for any other autism families, just mine – but I think a lot of families share these same sentiments). 

 

So to the medical autism community, can you do all us autism families a favor and GET ON THE SAME PAGE, or at least don’t poo poo every possible idea that doesn’t agree with your beliefs.  Some stuff is working even if you roll your eyes about it.  Moms and dads of children with autism have done more to bring awareness and action to this horrible epidemic and to have your smugness thrown at us is infuriating.  We all need to work together – NO MATTER WHAT IS WORKING FOR THEIR KIDS.  Parents know what it working for their kids, be it diet, TMS, therapy, biomed, Son-Rise…. Ad infinitum.  Get on Board for the kids and their families, we are with them 24/7 not just the 20 minutes you see them every 6 months.

Thanks for the rant.

Rebecca

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Rebecca

Just Another Marvelous Monday Morning

I felt so guilty this morning when my friend posted on Facebook that basically she had the Monday blues, well I couldn’t have disagreed more.  I LOVE MONDAY MORNINGS.

First I digress, there is very few things that I respect more than a mom, especially a mom that works.  You have 2 full time jobs, because who are we kidding?  Running a family would make even the most busy CEO cringe some days, let alone having to run a household and a company, so my hat is off to you more than you all will ever know.

I myself am a stay at home mom of 2 boys, and a husband.  Every weekend about 4 o’clock on Sunday, I am so looking forward to Monday morning at 8:33am when those children are at school and the husband is at work. You see Monday morning at 8:33am is that time I look forward too, like a working person looks forward to Friday at 5pm.  It’s a 4 hour window of time I get to unwind from the craziness of the weekend, and caring and prepping and playing with everyone.

I start looking at my clock at about 4:45am.  I have prepped all clothes for the boys and husband, lunches are made, the coffee pot just clicked on, and I shake my husband out of bed, and push him into his shower. I pack his lunch, pour his perfectly made cup of coffee into his travel mug, I go start his car and warm it up for him, and he is out the door at 5:30am. (Yes, I’m practically shoving him out of the door – with love)

90 minutes goes by, breakfast, getting dress, brushing teeth, hair, and the school bus arrives for 1 child, and he happily runs down the driveway and gets on it.  2 down – 1 to go.  My little guy helps load the dishwasher, and washing machine, he plays a little bit, and at 8:15 we are in the car on the way to school. Singing our songs, playing “I spy”, or him reading aloud all license plates to me.

I drop of at pre-school, and make like a maniac back to my car on a Monday morning, knowing there is a quiet empty house waiting for me, and just me.

I sing to my music, I have trash reality TV on, and I clean quick and furiously.  3 beds made, 2 loads of laundry done folded and put away, vacuumed, and all toys put away in about 45 minutes, which trying to accomplish all of that with a husband and children around is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.

I enjoy the peace, and cleanliness and the accomplishment of my house, and by 10:30, I’m lonely and miss my kiddos, but am still giddy with that I have 90 minutes to myself.

Rebecca

The Clueless at "The Happiest Place on Earth"

Happy New Year.  I hope all are embarking on a New Year with resolve, happiness and conviction.  You can do anything, don't let the New Years Resolutions stress you out.
My children's birthdays are the same week as Christmas, so this year we took all their birthday money and Christmas presents from our family and friends and became Annual Passholders at Disneyland Resort.  I feel very blessed and fortunate that we are able to do this for our kids.
I have just returned from a quick visit there with my son who is 6.  He also has Autism and is non-verbal.  After his first visit to California Adventure a couple of weeks ago and his pure joy and excitement that was visible in the new "Cars Land", Tonight we had no extra therapy after school,  all my chores were done, and daddy was home from work early and was able to stay home with our 4 year old who was under the weather.  So I kidnapped my 6 year old and went for a quick trip to the Disneyland Resort.  This is completely blowing his structure and routine, so I could be asking for a major melt down, but hoping for the best.
In our home we watch the movie "Cars" everyday, which is why my son recognizes the area, and if you haven't been there, I highly recommend it.  You really and truly feel like you walked into Radiator Springs "The cutest little town in Carburetor County".  After we parked our car and loaded ourselves onto the tram, which I think my son thinks is a ride as he screams with glee as it drives to the theme parks!
After watching the Pixar Parade we do a couple of small rides that I know he will enjoy, and the smiles and joy you see on his face are just epic.  It fills my heart with nothing but joy.  Being that my son has developmental challenges  and delays I do get a Guest Assistance pass that basically lets us go into most rides through the exit and get on without waiting in line.  It helps my son with the crowds and standing around for a long period of time would completely ruin his time and the time of everyone around us.  So I do feel incredibly lucky that Disney sees autism as a disability and provides us with this pass.
As we used our pass to get on a ride that had a 30 minute line, there was the guy.  You know that guy with a big mouth who as a mother you want to punch in the throat for being a jerk.  As we got on the ride, he started exclaiming  "What is her money better than mine?!", the Disney Cast Member "Sir, they have a special pass that requires him to get special assistance".  The neanderthal "Yeah, sure he looks fine, there is nothing wrong, I'm calling BS on his mother and Disney".  And then the white hot rage in my belly came forth, but all that came out of my mouth was "You should probably stop talking now, because I will own you everyday and twice on Sunday because you know not what you speak and you do NOT want me to humilitate your ignorant self in front of all these lovely people."
And the tears welled up in my eyes and I got on the ride with the most precious gift in my life and put my arm around him and felt horrible that there are humans that are so horrible and clueless.  If you think Autism is a picnic and I fake it to get a Disneyland special access pass you need to be mentally evaluated.   Yes it makes my life easier at Disneyland to have a pass and it helps my kids enjoy their time at Disney much better.
I would give up the access pass in a nano second if my kids didn't have Autism.  Their lives are so challenging and difficult FOREVER.

• There will always be the thug and bully that was raised by the jerk in line who will want to pick on them.
• There will always be the challenge with their motor skills to do things appropriately,
• There will always be issues with sensory overload, there will always be social skills issues,
• There will always be the lack of awareness in others. 

This pass turns a sensory, crowded overloaded nightmare into a "Very Happy Place" for my kids.  Not the "Happiest Place on Earth" yet, but it really helps.
If you are a naysayer that believes I'm faking and want to cut in line because it's easy, I'm sorry you are so ignorant, unhappy and angry at the world.  Maybe you should look at your own kids who have no issues (except a jerk as a parent) and be grateful and happy because your kids

• were potty trained at 3 years old
• go to school and do homework without a yearly meeting with a team of people trying to decide what is best for your kid
• plays on a sports team, or other kind of socially involved club
• has regular play dates and friends
• sleeps through the night at 6 years old
• cognitively understands you when you say something
• can dress themselves, and feed themselves... (shall I go on) 

Until you walked 5 feet in my shoes you and your unhappiness and jaw jacking to embarrass someone in public serve no purpose.
I look forward to challenging and helping my kids get social skills this year and I have a huge tool that will help me.  I hope and pray  you can smile at us and know how truly happy we are that growing, and moving forward with the obstacle of autism and by allowing us to "cut in front" of the line you are helping make that lesson possible.  So for that I thank you and hope it doesn't ruin your time at "The Happiest Place on Earth".

My "Bridesmaid" moment

2013 is well underway, I've signed up for a race every month this year, and 3 YES 3 half marathons.  So my ass needed to get in gear, and get some junk out of the trunk and get my wind back.  So for the last couple weeks during Christmas break I started running, well trotting, and jogging basically getting back on track.

My kids and husband were sick most of the vacation, so I just would get out on the road when I could evenings or early morning getting out on the trails with me and my dogs.

Yesterday I think I had washed the last sheet and towel from the stomach virus that all the boys of the house were plagued with.  I took a little antacid because my tummy was feeling a little sour all day but I couldn't miss my run, I was getting my groove back on and really had cabin fever so nothing was keeping me from blazing the trails that night.

So I'm into my first mile, the dogs tails are wagging, I've got awesome mix of music on and after mile one my tummy started to give me a little bit of guff.  But I was getting close to 11 minute mile, which is GREAT for me.  By mile 2 I have a grumbling, rumbling and cramping in my stomach going on, and then the gas comes. 

So I am at this "crossroads" literally.  Do I stop and walk (which I did), clenching my butt cheeks together with all I've got, because I'm now 2 miles from home IN THE DARK.  I can't go into the bushes and squat because of the real threat of a coyote, bobcat or raccoon coming out at me.  So I call my husband, who doesn't answer his phone, to get him to pick me up.  So on I forge down the streets of Orange County to get myself home. 

Clenching and wincing and trotting home, I'm trying to make it without the wedding dress in the street scene from "Bridesmaid" becoming a reality in my world. 

So I am only about a half mile from home, and literally my stride is exactly like Lillian's in the scene where she is trying to get away from the bridal store.  Oh to the vey, I couldn't hold it any longer, and started laughing because the only thing in my head was the scene from Bridesmaid where the Megan character is screaming "It's coming out of me like lava". 

The explosive diarrhea that my kids had had for several days was now passed onto mommy while she was trying to run to be healthy and care for the little dudes.  So yes 3 blocks from my house the poop came, I couldn't keep it in.  I did POOP my pants, and as I was in shock and laughing all alone like a mental patient on the street in the dark and the cold,  I couldn't stop laughing.  At least no one was with me.  At least I was wearing an old pair of running pants and not my brand new Under Armour, and thankfully I chose to wear BLACK!!!

On the side of my house I did the surfer strip down got my clothes off, hosed myself off and my clothes, threw the old pants away and headed into the house half naked and carrying a jug of Clorox and my husband saying "What the hell are you doing?"  Me: "Don't worry about it".  I locked myself in the bathroom and finished the clean up!

The lesson learned.  Run on the treadmill at home when you have a tummy ache!  These are the things that running is teaching me.  While I was humiliated and embarrassed and still can't believe that as a 44 year old mother I crapped my pants in public, but I did get those 3 miles added to my pile.  Yes, I am a mother runner.  I survived cancer, a little poop, while embarrassing and much more funny than cancer, I'll get over that too :)

 

Rebecca

Oral-B Professional Precision 5000

If you know me, you know I hate the dentist.  I hate going, in the last 2 years between cancer treatments and pregnancies etc. my mouth took a proverbial beating.  I just spent thousands of dollars getting my mouth back in order.  I needed to find something that made my mouth get and feel dentist clean and fresh everyday.

The Oral-B Professional Precision 5000 rechargeable toothbrush is the amazing tool that made my mouth feel like I had just come from a cleaning at the dentist every day and night.  It was great. 

I had never used an "electric" toothbrush before.  I had always just used a regular toothbrush.  My gums would bleed, I'd have cavities, loose teeth, and gum infections.  All of this changed with the use of my new Oral-B Professional Precision 5000.  My mouth felt dentist office cleaning clean everyday!  Who doesn't love that feeling?!


I absolutely fell in love with the Oral-B Professional Precision 5000 rechargeable toothbrush.  It made it impossible to not take care of your teeth.  It came with a handy clock/timer.  That in addition to telling how late you're running in the morning, it syncs up with your toothbrush, times your brushing, and and alarm goes off if you're applying too much pressure with the toothbrush.  The oscillating, rotating and pulsating movements of the toothbrush were epic in getting my teeth clean like the dentist everyday.  I loved running my tongue along my teeth morning and night.

I am so happy with the Oral-B Professional Precision 5000  that I would recommend it to everyone.  It was a great find, and a healthy mouth, is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

Oral-B is offering a $20 mail-in rebate on select power toothbrushes November 18  through December 31, 2012 (Please visit www.oralb.com for details)

Rebecca
 
I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Modern Mom on behalf of Oral-B and received a product sample to facilitate my review
 

Ringing in 2013 Knott's Berry Farm Style

After a great 2012, and my toddlers starting school, and entering KIDHOOD, and spending a lot of our fun time at Knott's Berry Farm for Easter, Mother's Day, 4th of July at Soak City, Camp Spooky, and Knott's Merry Farm.  There is no other way I can think to usher in 2013 than with a Family Fun New Years Eve at Knott's.  The fun starts at 10am and will go all the way until 1am on January 1st!

This will be our first time taking the kids out on New Years Eve.  But I'm sure, as Knott's they always do my kids will have nothing but a good time.  We are going to watch "Happy New Year Charlie Brown" at the Camp Snoopy theater, we can still catch "It's Christmas Snoopy" skating show if we want too.  What I can not wait to see is "Snoopy's Magical Night of Lights" until 1am.

The grown up fun will continue up until 1am with Salsa and Country Line Dancing.  There will be instructors for those of us with two left feet!   There will be live performances from a popular band. 

Of course there will be a countdown and aerial fireworks display to welcome in 2013.  You can't have a New Years Eve without a little sparkle and fun.  I know after this year of our annual passes that Knott's never disappoints in the fun department. 

So join us and the Camp Snoopy folks, and those of us old enough to stay up until 1am and ring in what promises to be a great 2013.

Happy New Year.

Rebecca